


Vector's Lost Child

by aj_linguistik



Category: Sword Art Online
Genre: Alicization Spoilers, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, F/F, F/M, Gender Dysphoria, Implications of Kirisuna, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Love Triangles, M/M, Nudity, Pregnancy, This turned into a fantasy soap opera im so sorry, Trans Asuna, Trans Female Character, Trans Kirito, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-21 12:16:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 39
Words: 70,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13740678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aj_linguistik/pseuds/aj_linguistik
Summary: The only clues I have about myself are a piece of parchment and the clothes I'm wearing. I don't know why I'm here or where I've come from. All I know is that he showed up and offered to help me find answers. So I'll focus on that.





	1. Amnesia

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Slight bit of a rant. I was totally not going to post this. It was going to be a thing just as a means of venting. But I ran into some transphobes on the internet and while I know it's very hard for me personally to find other SAO fans, it was very disconcerting as a trans guy to see someone say "We don't need trans characters in this fandom." Gee. Thanks. Maybe we would like to see ourselves represented in a decent fashion. Anyways, this is kind of a reaction to that. It might not be very long or it might go on. I'm just writing because I'm angry at transphobes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Slight bit of a rant. I was totally not going to post this. It was going to be a thing just as a means of venting. But I ran into some transphobes on the internet and while I know it's very hard for me personally to find other SAO fans, it was very disconcerting as a trans guy to see someone say "We don't need trans characters in this fandom." Gee. Thanks. Maybe we would like to see ourselves represented in a decent fashion. Anyways, this is kind of a reaction to that. It might not be very long or it might go on. I'm just writing because I'm angry at transphobes.

            Not remembering who you are can be a funny thing. Staring up at the sky and having no recollection of anything prior to that moment of existence unsettled me. It wasn’t as if I knew nothing—I knew there were words for things and what those words were. I knew things like that I was human, that I was wearing clothing considered boy’s clothing, and that I was lost.

            I knew something else, something that struck me as pretty familiar about this sort of situation. I couldn’t really put my finger on it. Perhaps where I had come from was familiar. Maybe I’d just fallen and hit my head. I hesitatingly picked myself up out of the grass and observed the forest around me. My chest felt tight. I reached down and pressed my hand to it.

            Something was under the fabric. As I ran my hands over my chest, I could tell something was under my shirt. I pulled the material away from my skin and peered down at myself beneath it. Strips of cloth were pulled so tightly around my chest that it turned some of my skin red. I blinked my eyes a few times, putting the pieces together.

            _What in the world is that for?_

            The thought cut off. I felt confused about the situation, but about that I was certain. I was a boy, somewhere in my teen years, and that I was in a forest somewhere. My hands quickly dropped the shirt and grasped at my hair. Short, as I’d expected. My head certainly felt enough of the breeze for it to not be long.

            “What happened…?” I murmured.

            Using my voice felt painful. My throat was dry. It was the only thing that really hurt, aside from a weird, dull, faint pain in my lower belly. I suspiciously looked myself over for injuries. I didn’t appear to be hurt, but—

            There. There was blood between my legs on my pants. I grimaced. I didn’t feel injured at all. I bit my lip and slipped my hand in the front of my pants. The grimace turned into a face of disgust. I yanked my hand back out quickly and stared at my slightly bloodied hand.

            “What…what the hell?” I stammered.

            Panicked, I stood up and looked around. There didn’t seem to be any water in sight, but I could hear some coming from nearby. I turned towards it and ran in that direction. Previously hidden from my vision by the trees was a river. Grateful, I stumbled down to the edge and thrust my hand into the water to wash the blood off. I considered for a moment drinking the water, but then I thought about what I’d just washed off of my hand in the water.

            I groaned and stared down at my reflection in the water. Confused black eyes were staring up at me. I didn’t want to think about who I was or what I was. But I didn’t want to remain confused either. I patted down my clothing. There had to be something on me that explained some small part of my life to me. My hand hit my pocket.

            “There’s something…” I mumbled.

            Reaching in my pocket, I pulled out a small, wadded up, slightly damp piece of parchment. I gently pulled it out of its wad and tried to smooth out the crinkles. Handwriting, which had smudged from the dampness, was present, and it was rather messy. Was it mine? Was it someone else’s? I frowned and tried to read the letters.

            “It’s a letter from a girl,” I finally concluded.

I was barely able to make out much more than the names and a few words interspersed.

“So…why can’t I recall her face?”

            I looked up from the parchment and stared across the river. It hurt my head, trying to figure things out. My vision blurred with tears. All I had was a name that I assumed was mine and the clothes on my body. What I wanted was clarity—but how was I supposed to attain such a thing? I rubbed my tears away with my sleeves and blinked at the other side of the river. It was a small river, now that I thought about it.

            A boy with blond hair was standing there, at the edge of the water, staring at me. I felt my face flush from embarrassment. Here I was, crying and alone, and he was staring right at me. The boy tilted his head gently to the right and frowned.

            “Are you okay?” he asked.

            “I…I’m just…lost…” I said.

            How much could I say, when I didn’t even know if that was true or not? I bit my lip and waited. The boy looked around for a moment, as if searching for something, and then he stepped into the water. As he walked towards me, I noticed that the water wasn’t all that deep. He was able to easily get across to me. Before I knew what was happening, his hand was being held out to me. It was dripping from his trek across the river.

            “I can take you back to my village,” he said, smiling a little.

            “Do…do you not know me?” I asked.

            It was worth the shot, I supposed. He didn’t seem to recognize me as someone close to him, but he might know my face in the very least. The boy frowned and shook his head, though, his smile becoming a bit more apologetic.

            “No, I’m afraid not,” he said, laughing a little. “There’s no one with your color of hair in this region. Where are you from?”

            “I…I don’t…I don’t remember…” I stammered.

            “I see,” he said. “Come on. Come with me.”

            His hand remained outstretched, waiting for me to grasp it. If I went with him, I could find a way to get my memory back. I lifted my own hand and cautiously took his. His fingers grasped my hand tightly. He helped me up to my feet and I noticed that we were about the same height. The boy took a step back, coaxing me into the water.

            “It’s fine, I don’t bite,” he said.

            I swallowed and nodded, taking a step forward into the water. My feet, to my surprise, slipped a little the moment I put them under the water. The bed of the river was made of rocks that had been smoothed down by the rushing waters over them. I fell over onto the boy, who was careful not to lose his balance. My arms draped around his neck and my body pressed up against him awkwardly.

            “I-I’m sorry!” I exclaimed.

            “Hey, it’s okay,” he said.

            Blinking, I looked up at him, expecting him to be irritated. He didn’t seem to be. His green eyes were wide, expressing some sort of concern for my well-being. Perhaps I was imagining it. I’d only just met him, and here I was trying to interpret his emotions from a glance. But his eyes seemed so earnest to me. He wanted to help, and he wanted to make sure I was alright. I felt my cheeks fill with heat.

            “I can feel your pulse racing a little bit,” he said, helping me pull myself off of him. “Are you maybe scared of water?”

            “I don’t think so,” I said.

            The water certainly wasn’t what was making my heart race. It was all him. My confused head protested trying to think about this any longer. Why was I so flustered? I kept my eyes off of him even as he led me across the water and to the opposite bank.

            “The village is just a little ways away, do you think you can walk?” he asked.

            “Yeah, I’m fine, just…really…confused,” I mustered.

            “Ah, alright,” he said. “Oh, by the way, my name’s Eugeo. Can you remember yours?”

            I recalled the parchment I’d been holding and frowned.

            “I think…it’s Kazuto.”


	2. Unfortunate Timing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay, I updated the tags. I am a firm believer in trigger warnings. I will say, as this is written solely for venting, I will admit it's not just for venting about one specific thing. Writing is an outlet for me. But I still welcome commentary on it- just because it's venting doesn't mean it can't be improved.

            Eugeo took me a village called Rulid. It was, he said, one of the smaller and poorer villages in the Norlangarth Empire, just a little ways north of a larger town called Zakkaria. Most of the residents were farmers or church clergy; they were hardly anyone of great importance to the empire overall, at least from how Eugeo described it.

            As we walked into the village, I noticed that people were staring at me. I found myself grasping Eugeo’s arm tightly and hiding behind him as best I could, hoping to avoid their curious stares. He laughed at my reaction and glanced over his shoulder at me. When our eyes met, I jerked my head down, hoping that he wasn’t making fun of my shyness.

            “They’re only staring because of your hair,” he said quietly.

            “My…hair?” I mumbled.

            “Mm, that’s right,” Eugeo said. “To be quite honest, you’re the first person I’ve ever seen with black hair. Are you sure you don’t recall where you’re from? It must be pretty far away from here.”

            “I’m positive,” I said.

            “I’ve heard that people from the Eastabarieth Empire have black hair,” Eugeo said, humming a little. “Does that name ring a bell?”

            I shook my head. He’d asked a few questions on our way here, similarly posing a curiosity as to whether or not anything sounded familiar to me. I felt bad for always answering with “no,” but it was the truth. Nothing sounded familiar, not even the names that I’d seen on the parchment. I’d assumed that Kazuto was my name—but after noting that my body parts didn’t line up with my gender, I wondered if the other name, Suguha, was perhaps mine instead. Then again, I was once again making an assumption as to which name was more male and which was more female.

            “I’m sorry that you can’t seem to recall anything,” Eugeo said. “I’ll be honest, I knew it happened, but I’ve never actually met someone it’s happened to before. You’re the first one.”

            “Huh?” I blinked up at him.

            “Ah, here we are,” he said, coming to a stop.

            I peered around his body and saw a small church sitting in front of me. I almost laughed at myself—I couldn’t remember my own name, but I knew without asking that this was a church? It was such a silly notion that despite my confusion, I let out a small snort. Eugeo looked at me and frowned.

            “Is something funny?” he asked.

            “That’s a church,” I said.

            Wow. I’m a dumbass.

            “Yes, yes, it is,” Eugeo said, laughing at my blunt statement of the obvious. “I’m glad you remember something. I was going to see if maybe Sister Azariya might be able to help you out with your amnesia. She knows enough about the Sacred Arts, so it’s likely she’ll know if you can have your memory restored or not.”

            I hadn’t told Eugeo that practically all of my memory was gone, but he seemed to be perfectly aware that I barely knew anything. Biting my lip, I tried to keep my face from expressing how embarrassing it was for him to have already guessed at that. He glanced down for a moment and then said something quietly.

            “Also, she might have a change of clothes for you, since, uh…” he mumbled.

            My face filled with heat. He’d noticed the blood and hadn’t said anything this whole time. I wasn’t sure what made me feel angrier—the fact that he hadn’t said anything sooner, or the fact that he’d noticed at all. I wanted to reach up and smack him as hard as I could. His eyes had no business being down there.

            “You idiot!” I exclaimed.

            “H-hey, I was trying to be discrete!” Eugeo defended himself. “Besides, I wasn’t really sure if you were injured and were trying to play it off or not.”

            “What else could it be?” I asked.

            Truth be told, I wasn’t even sure why I was so adamant that he avoided the topic of it not being an injury. It was the only thing my brain was certain about: I was a boy, but for some unknown reason, I had a girl’s body parts. Perhaps I’d reincarnated? Either way, it didn’t feel right at all.

            “Well, it’s an awkward spot to be injured in,” Eugeo said, looking off to his left. “I didn’t want to…you know…assume you’d been…”

            Where was he even going with this? I pulled my shirt down over my crotch and gave him a fixed, irritated stare. His mouth stopped moving almost immediately. He cleared his throat and pointed a thumb at the church.

            “Anyways, um, would you like to talk to Sister Azariya?” Eugeo asked.

            “S-sure,” I stammered, still unable to divert my mind from the conversation he was avoiding.

            Eugeo turned around and walked into the church, waving for me to follow. As if I wouldn’t. I didn’t know anyone in Rulid besides him, and even if they only stared because my hair was black, it was incredibly awkward to have so many unfamiliar eyes staring at me. I hurried along behind him, still making sure to keep my shirt pulled down low enough so that someone else didn’t notice the bloodstain.

            On the interior of the small church, a woman was sitting on a chair with several children surrounding her. She appeared to be instructing them on how to read. I blinked a few times, watching her as she pointed to lines of text in the book. The children would repeat after her when she read a line aloud. Eugeo stopped us behind the ring of children, just waiting for her to finish. The woman finally looked up and smiled.

            “Alright, that’s it for today,” she said. “You can run along back home, now.”

            A cry of excitement came from the small group, and then they all sprang up from their seated positions and dashed around myself and Eugeo, heading straight for the exit. I smiled at the scene. Something about this made my heart feel happy. Perhaps I had a younger brother or sister, and this was my mind’s way of trying to remind me?

            “Eugeo, what can I do for you?” the woman asked.

            “I found one,” Eugeo said, pointing a thumb back at me. “One of Vector’s lost children.”

            “One of…what?” I asked.

            Eugeo shushed me.

            “Oh my,” the woman said. She looked at me and frowned. “Can you remember anything? Anything at all?”

            “I can remember…what certain things are,” I said.

            “Your name?” she asked.

            “I guessed it from a piece of parchment that was in my pocket,” I said, reaching down to grab it.

            The parchment was wet from having waded through the river. It hadn’t dried as quickly as the rest of me. I held it out to her, wondering if that would possibly give her a heads’ up as to who I was or where I might have come from.

            “There’s two names here,” she noted.

            “I’m assuming I’m Kazuto,” I said.

            The woman gave me a slightly skeptical look. I swallowed. She could tell, couldn’t she? She could tell that something wasn’t quite right with me. Eugeo might have been totally oblivious to it, but she could sense something was off. I looked down at myself and realized that I had let go of my shirt. I yelped and pulled it back down.

            “We’ll go with Kazuto if that helps,” the woman said. “I’m Sister Azariya. I teach the children here in Rulid Village and I am in charge of teaching the Sacred Arts to the two daughters of our village leader, Alice and Selka. I’m also here to take care of the orphans living at the church.”

            “What’s…what are Vector’s lost children?” I asked.

            “They’re people who have lost all of their memory and show up in random places because of the tricks of the dark god, Vector,” Sister Azariya said. “It’s not something that happens every day, but we all know that it does happen. You’re the first person I’ve met that’s actually been one, though.”

            “How can you tell?” I asked.

            “You’re clearly not from around here,” she said, smiling gently. “Your dark hair and eyes kind of give that away.”

            “Is there anything you can do for his amnesia?” Eugeo asked.

            Sister Azariya shook her head.

            “I’m afraid not,” she said. “But, there is something I can do for you. I can get you a bath and something to eat, as well as a change of clothes. The Axiom Church is a home to all orphans, regardless of age.”

            “Ah, good, then—” Eugeo started.

            “You hurry off,” Sister Azariya said, pushing him in the direction of the exit. “I’ll be sure to return him to you later!”

            “W-wait!” I exclaimed.

            Before I knew what was happening, Eugeo was gone just as quickly as he had appeared. I knew, of course, that I would most likely see him later, but for now, I would have to deal with being alone with Sister Azariya, who was arguably stranger to me than Eugeo. In the very least, Eugeo had been another guy. She was a woman.

            “I’m not going to make any judgements or tell you how to live, Kazuto,” Sister Azariya said, “but you’re definitely going to need some help if you want to continue passing as a boy.”

            “Wh-what?” I stammered

            “I’m going to help you out, dear,” she said, smiling. She pointed down. “You’re lucky he didn’t put two and two together. Maybe he was just being polite. It’s hard to say. But I’ll certainly be getting you a clean pair of pants. And a bath.”

            I had no time to even argue. She whisked me into a back room, where a bath had been built. Of course, since it was only early afternoon, had to go through the trouble of drawing a bath, which I told her several times I would help with. She refused my aid, saying it was her duty as a servant of the gods to make sure that I was taken care of. I watched as she bustled about, unsure of what to do with myself.

            “Are you in any pain?” she asked suddenly.

            “Pain?” I repeated.

            “Well, it appears to have started recent enough that you’d feel pain from it still,” she said, being rather vague.

            I thought about how I felt. Earlier, I’d noted that I hadn’t felt any pain that made me think of injuries, but now, when I really focused on it, I did feel rather sore between my lower back and my knees. I reached down and gingerly touched my abdomen. Yeah, it was sore. Maybe I’d been too distracted to notice.

            “Does soreness count?” I asked.

            “I would count it,” she said, laughing a little.

            It wasn’t a very happy laugh, I noted.

            “Whether or not the you before your mind became empty would agree or not, I think it’s rather unfortunate timing,” she said.

            “What do you mean?” I asked. “You’re not making any sense. Do you mean it’s poor timing to lose one’s memory when they’re dealing with their monthly cycle, on top of being positive that they’re not even a girl?”

            Sister Azariya looked at me for a moment with an expression of pity.

            “That, too, I suppose,” she said. “I suppose without your memory, you would assume that’s what I’m referring to.”

            I frowned. She came over and grabbed my hands and then had me sit down with her. With one hand, she let go of mine and reached up to brush some of my hair away from my eyes. Her eyes seemed really sad, as if contemplating my situation hurt her as much as it confused me.

            “You’re so young…I wonder what happened just as much as you do,” she said slowly. “You can’t be any older than Eugeo. And yet, despite how well you hide that you’re female…”

            My eyes widened a little.

            “It’s unfortunate timing not for you,” she said quietly, “but rather for your child.”

            “My…what now?” I breathed.


	3. A Girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm sorry these are a little short for me. But they work better shorter. And I guess fanfiction probably works better shorter, but my other three I just get so carried away that it's been 6 or so Word pages and wow that's a bit. So I apologize for shortness but also I hope because it's short it doesn't kill your eyes.

            I wasn’t quite sure I’d heard Sister Azariya right. She’d expressed that she found the situation unfortunate not just for me, but also for my child. Did I have a child I didn’t remember? And how would she know such a thing? It’s not like I was wearing some kind of sign that told her everything about me. If I was, I certainly wanted to see it for myself.

            “I understand that you’re surprised, mostly because of the loss of memory,” Sister Azariya said.

            “How could you know something like that?” I asked. “Divine knowledge?”

            She laughed at my suggestion.

            “Oh, nothing like that, dear,” she said, shaking her head. “When you get to be my age, there are just certain things we come to know. I know that you recently started your menstrual, thus you can’t be having a child now. But I also know from looking at your with your shirt pulled off here that you were either currently with child or have been with child before.”

            “Wait, wait, but…I’m a guy,” I said, grabbing the bridge of my nose with my fingers. “Why would I agree to have a child?”

            “I’m not suggesting you wanted it,” Sister Azariya said.

            Her expression was much darker now. She seemed to suspect that something terrible had happened. If it had, perhaps it would be better that I not regain such a memory. Still, after learning this fact about my body, I couldn’t exactly just expel that thought from my mind. At some point in my past, I’d had a kid. Had I not wanted it? Or had it been consensual? I wasn’t sure I really wanted to know, but I also wanted to clear up the confusion in my head.

            “Would it be alright to remove the bindings just to bathe?” Sister Azariya asked.

            “Oh, um…”

            “If you’re not comfortable with it, I won’t force you, but I think it will be much easier to clean you if you aren’t half-wrapped in these cloths,” she said, laughing a little.

            “R-right,” I said.

            I agreed to undo my bindings for the sole reason that I couldn’t see any reason as to why it mattered at the moment. For the duration of the bath, I remained silent as Sister Azariya talked about this, that, and the other. She rambled about what made Rulid so great to her as a small town and told me how she hoped I would like it here until I regained my memory. Her only concern was getting me back home when I did remember—apparently, it was nearly impossible to cross the borders between the empires.

            “The only people really allowed to do that are the Integrity Knights,” she’d said. “And if you’ve been dumped here by the dark god, Vector, I kind of doubt that you’re one of them. No offense, but an Integrity Knight wouldn’t so easily be tricked like this.”

            Her comment made me wonder if I was, perhaps, an idiot.

            Either way, since it seemed as if finding a way home would be difficult, Sister Azariya made it sound like I didn’t need to rush about getting my memories back. I should take things slowly and try to just take life one easy step at a time. By doing that, it was more likely to facilitate enough pleasant emotions that it might improve my memory. I wasn’t really sure if that was how it worked, but I gave her a polite smile regardless.

            After giving me a pair of clean clothes (and something to deal with the issue that had dirtied them), I redressed myself, with her help re-binding myself, and left the church in hopes of finding Eugeo. It wasn’t a very big village, but not knowing my way around still made it a bit intimidating. I frowned and looked around. I would have to ask someone for help.

            My stomach turned at the thought of asking for directions. What if I just got stared at? People had been staring when I’d come into the village, even with Eugeo. I took a deep breath and marched up to a girl with long blonde hair. I tapped her on the shoulder, causing her to jump a little and turn around.

            “Um, I’m looking for Eugeo!”

            It came out more as an exclamation than as a question. I really am an idiot, after all. The girl stared blankly at me for a moment and then burst into laughter. My cheeks filled with heat from embarrassment.

            “Gods…it wasn’t that funny…” I mumbled.

            “You’re that funny boy from earlier,” she said, trying to flash me a good-natured smile. “The one that was walking around with Eugeo towards the church.”

            “Y-yeah, that’s me,” I said with a nod. “I’m Kazuto.”

            “It’s very nice to meet you,” she said. “I’m Alice, Alice Zuberg.”

            My eyes widened a little. She had a last name. The other two hadn’t introduced themselves with a last name to me. Maybe they’d just hidden it? Then again, something in my mostly empty head told me that it made some sort of difference.

            “Nice to meet you,” I mumbled.

            “You’re looking for Eugeo?” Alice asked, for clarification.

            As if she needed that. I’d practically shouted at her that that was what I wanted. I was sure she was only saying this to be polite. Unable to force a confirmation out of my mouth, I just nodded my head. Was I always this awkward? Or was this just because I had no memory of who I was? I drew in a deep breath and tried to focus.

            “I can take you to his home,” Alice said. “Or, I could show you around until he gets mad and comes to find you.”

            “Why would we do that?” I asked.

            “Because it’s fun to mess with Eugeo,” she said, giggling. “He’s very serious about following rules and doing things in an orderly fashion and such. But you can have fun without breaking rules, don’t you think?”

            What did I think?

            “I think…I think it would be fun to mess around with him,” I said.

            I wasn’t sure why I’d agreed with her. Something about me was pulling me in the direction of agreeing with her. The image of Eugeo all flustered made me smile a bit. I hardly knew him, but I knew that much.

            “So, what to show you first?” Alice hummed. “Oh! I know a fun place! Follow me!”

            Without warning, Alice grasped my hand in hers and was dragging me down the street, excitedly babbling about some fascinating tree. I wasn’t sure what was so great about a tree, but I decided to let her carry on. Perhaps it had some sort of great significance to the people of Rulid. Either way, it was important enough that she insisted I come and see it.

            As we dashed through the village, I took note of the things I saw. People were still staring in my direction. I supposed I would have to get used to that for the time being. But even with people staring, it didn’t feel at all unwelcoming. It was a stare of curiosity, nothing more, nothing less. These people had never seen a black-haired, black-eyed boy before. I guess if I’d had my memories, I would have been a little more shocked at seeing them as well.

            A thought interrupted my musings when I glanced back at Alice. I could vaguely recall a girl, most likely from my own village, who excitedly dragged me off somewhere. She’d had something to show me, something she’d only wanted me to see. Her hair hadn’t been black—but it wasn’t because she was from somewhere else.

            I blinked a few times. Who was that girl? And why did only those specific things come to mind just then? I shook my head and sighed. It wouldn’t come to me immediately. Perhaps, though, this experience would remind me of more.


	4. The Noble's Wife

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Like I said on my other fanfic, this isn't an April Fool's joke, rest assured. It's actually an update. I am switching POV for this chapter in the kind of SAO light novel fashion of first person for Kazuto/Kirito, third person for others. As a note, I'm actually kinda glad this is getting views; I didn't expect a lot of attention on it (because frankly it is majorly dwarfed by my BNHA and ONS fics) so it's nice to know SAO things still get some attention. I'll be sure to tune in and watch SAO: Alternative when it airs next week. (And of course, as a light novel reader, I'll be watching season three in October to see how good or bad they do adapting it).

            Three days. It had been a total of three days since she’d last seen any sign of Kazuto. She frowned in the direction of his parent’s home and wondered if asking about his whereabouts would be the best course of action. On occasion, they had come across as pretty cold, and of course, with certain events, she was absolutely positive that their coldness wasn’t just something she’d thought up. After all, it had been their idea to marry Kazuto off to… _that bastard_.

            She shuddered at the thought. She was twenty-one now, so that whole situation had unfolded, what, four years ago, now? Kazuto had been thirteen when his parents had married him off to that horrid noble, Lord Sugou. They’d reclaimed him recently because they’d finally accepted how abusive that screwed up man had been to their child, and then they’d finally had to acknowledge everything that had happened during that six year period.

            Taking a deep breath, she marched out from her hiding spot and stomped right up to the front door of his home. She mentally prepared herself to deal with his mother or father, took a deep breath, and slammed her fist against the door. For a breath, everything was silent. She drew another breath, started banging both of her fists, and let out a breath with a shout.

            “I KNOW YOU’RE HOME!”

            The door flew open to reveal not his mother nor his father, but rather his sister, Suguha, who was glaring at her with an irritated face. In her arm, she was cradling a toddler, who had turned her head to greet the guest with wide, sparkling eyes.

            “Mama!”

            “For the millionth time, Yui, Asuna’s not your mama,” Suguha sighed.

            She gave Asuna an apologetic smile. The little girl, Yui, started to fuss and reach out to Asuna. Suguha gave Asuna a second apologetic smile and opened her mouth to shush Yui, but Asuna reached her arms out to welcome Yui into them. Delighted, Yui only struggled harder to get into the other girl’s arms. Asuna picked her up and pulled her into her chest, smiling.

            “How are you doing?” Asuna asked. “You’re almost five now, aren’t you?”

            “Mm-hmm!” Yui said, nodding.

            “Sorry…” Suguha grumbled. “I have no idea why she thinks you’re her mother.”

            “It’s alright,” Asuna laughed. “I think she just assumes it because she sees me around Kazuto a lot. Speaking of which…”

            “Oh, uh…” Suguha muttered. “Wait.”

            Asuna frowned. Suguha looked back inside for a moment and then stepped outside, closing the door behind her. She motioned for Asuna to follow her and then disappeared around the back of the house. Frowning, Asuna glanced at Yui, who seemed oblivious to the issue, and followed Suguha without a word. When she got around the back, Suguha was sitting on a crude bench. She patted it, suggesting that Asuna sit down.

            “Mom and dad are very upset about it,” Suguha said, sighing. “But from what we can tell, he’s run away.”

            “Run…away?” Asuna repeated numbly.

            That didn’t make any sense to her. Kazuto wasn’t the type of person to just run away, even with the amount of stress he felt from the combined situations of having been married to Lord Sugou, living in the house with his parents, and raising Yui. He’d fought on with a stubborn expression on his face. He was the kind of person that just put up with things that happened to him, accepting them as his fate, whether good or bad. She didn’t seem him just running away—and even then, he most likely wouldn’t have just left Yui.

            “That’s all we can figure,” Suguha said. “I mean, who would want to kidnap Kazuto?”

            “I can think of at least one person,” Asuna said, frowning.

            “You don’t think Lord Sugou would capture him back after all that, do you?” Suguha asked. “He wanted Kazuto at first, but after learning that he identified as male, he seemed to be pretty fed up with him.”

            “You say that like he didn’t cling to him for six years,” Asuna said.

            She looked down at Yui in her arms. If Lord Sugou hadn’t had enough of a reason to hold onto Kazuto, Yui would have never existed. No matter what came out of that twisted noble’s mouth, Asuna had to believe that he still wanted Kazuto for something. Why go through six years of making sure he stayed with him if not to get something out of him? Asuna wasn’t sure what Kazuto had that Lord Sugou wanted, but she bet it was enough to try and kidnap him back over it.

            “Well, it would ruin his reputation to marry someone and then immediately divorce them,” Suguha said. “Legally speaking, even though Kazuto’s been reclaimed supposedly by my parents, Kazuto is still legally married to Lord Sugou. The man probably wants to keep his only heir; thus he’s only keeping it up for shows and for a reason to take Yui when she’s old enough.”

            “That’s fair,” Asuna mumbled. “Well…what if he wanted a son instead of a daughter?”

            “Excuse me?” Suguha said.

            “Well, like you said, he’s only keeping the marriage intact for show,” Asuna said. “But if it’s an heir he wants, of course he’d drag his only legal spouse back to try and get a son out of the relationship. As much as I don’t want to think about Kazuto enduring that again, it’s within the realm of possibility.”

            Suguha seemed to ponder this for a moment before responding.

            “I guess that makes sense,” she said. “Even if he doesn’t agree that my big brother really is a boy, that doesn’t mean he will simply discard him for looks. And it would make sense to want a male heir—a noble son could marry into royalty and inherit his estate and everything.”

            “That settles it,” Asuna said.

            “That settles _what_ , exactly?” Suguha asked. “Are you going to try something stupid again?”

            “You say that like I’m prone to stupidity like your brother is,” Asuna huffed. “I know the strength of my team. I’ll share our suspicions with Rika and Keiko and Shino. We’ll formulate a plan and head to investigate Lord Sugou’s estate.”

            “Why do you feel so passionately about Kazuto?” Suguha sighed. “Even I wouldn’t go _that_ far to make sure he was okay. Going up against a noble is insane, Asuna, even as a noble yourself.”

            Why did she care so much?

            She’d only met Kazuto after he’d been forced into the marriage with Lord Sugou. She hadn’t even known who he was or anything about him when they’d met. In fact, she’d run into him doing the exact same thing he was doing…

           

            Asuna ran as fast as she could around the corner and ended up running into someone else. When she finally picked herself up, she glared in the direction of her personal roadblock and opened her mouth to give him or her a few choice words. Her mouth froze wide open. She was staring at a black-haired boy wearing what looked like a rather simple noblewoman’s dress.

            “Oww…” he muttered.

            “Who…who are _you_? I’ve never seen you around here before,” she noted.

            “Ah…crap,” he groaned.

            “Are you from another estate visiting, like me?” she asked.

            “N-no,” he said, shaking his head. “I’m…I’m married to the lord of this estate…actually…”

            His face was bright red when he said it. Asuna wasn’t sure what to make of that information. How could a boy be married to Lord Sugou? Wasn’t that sort of thing a bit of a taboo? She examined him a little more closely. His voice _did_ sound a little high for a boy’s, and as for his figure…

            “O-oh, are you…are you actually a woman?” she stammered, embarrassed.

            “W-what?! No!” he exclaimed, waving his hands.

            He glanced down at himself and swallowed.

            “I…I guess it looks that way, doesn’t it?” he murmured.

            “I just…I’m sorry…between the dress and…you almost look…oh, I can’t say that!” Asuna said.

            She’d just been about to tell the boy he looked like he was pregnant, but that was a silly thing to say. It was just the way he was sitting in the dress, right? Asuna found herself laughing at her own stupid statement, even though she’d kept it to herself. However, the boy seemed to pick up on what she meant and looked away, clutching the fabric of the dress over his stomach.

            “It does look that way,” he sighed.

            “Huh?”

            Then, he did something kind of unexpected. He crawled over to her on hands and knees and pressed his hands against the wall behind her. He was so close, and he smelled heavily of a perfume that didn’t seem to fit him at all.

            “Can you keep a secret, Miss Noble?” he asked.

            Asuna numbly nodded.

            “I’m a boy, but I wasn’t born one,” he said, glancing over his shoulder. “Legally speaking, I’m Lord Sugou’s wife…and…my parents basically…sold me off to marry him…but of course he doesn’t want a boy like me…”

            The boy started crying over her. She didn’t know what to do, but she chose to wrap her arms around him and pull him close to her chest. Now that he was close, she knew her initial thought hadn’t just been her seeing something incorrectly.

            “Hey, um…I don’t know your name, but—” she started.

            “Kazuto,” he mumbled. “I…I call myself Kazuto.”

            “Right, Kazuto,” she said. “If you ever need someone else to talk to, try and find me. My name’s Asuna. I’m from the estate of Lord Yuuki.”

            Little did Asuna realize that their accidental meeting would eventually lead to something quite different than the friendship she’d been offering. But how could she have known then how things would transpire? After all, how could she predict falling for him?


	5. Stimulation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry for posting late, it's hell week at work and there's two weeks left of classes. Tired + stressed = I passed out before my usual midnight posting. But here it is you were not forgotten.

            The tree was much bigger than I could have actually imagined. When she’d talked about showing me an enormous tree, I had pictured something pretty big, but this was beyond the scope of my thinking. This tree could easily have a house inside of its trunk, perfectly hidden by an outer layer of black bark. I blinked up at the tree and let out a breath of amazement.

            “You weren’t kidding when you said it was huge…” I murmured.

            Alice laughed. Her laugh was so mischievous.

            “It’s been growing here all my life, and my parents’ lives, and my grand-parents’ lives…well, you get the picture,” she said, smiling up at it. “In truth, it’s rather destructive to the area. Because it sucks up all the nutrients in the ground to support its girth, we can’t really extend our farms past a certain point. And it’s still growing…”

            “That’s…awful…” I said.

            “Nothing much we can do about it,” Alice said.

            She walked up to the side of the tree and placed one hand along a giant gash that I’d overlooked. I use the word giant, but it’s only giant in the fact that I could fit my hand inside of it. Compared to the tree as a whole, it was nothing more than a minor scratch. I stepped over some roots and made my way over as well.

            “For generations, there’s always been someone tasked with trying to fell it,” Alice said, tracing her fingers along the scar. “That’s Eugeo’s job, now. Every day, he comes out and works to widen this crack. We probably won’t see it go down in our lifetime, of course. This gash was made over centuries.”

            “Just that little spot?” I asked.

            Alice nodded.

            “What are you two doing here?”

            Both Alice and I jumped, but she didn’t seem as surprised as I did to hear Eugeo’s voice so suddenly. She laughed and dashed over to give Eugeo a tight hug. He started to ramble at her about something. I wasn’t paying attention to it. I turned back around and stared at the cut in the tree that had been made over centuries of work.

            In that instance, I realized something else about myself: I apparently had a drive to try and solve this sort of predicament. I stood up and turned to Eugeo, straightening up. He was still rambling on about something to Alice.

            “Um, what tool do you use to cut this with?” I asked.

            “I…I’m sorry?” Eugeo stammered, turning to look at me.

            “What sort of tool do you use?” I asked again, pointing at the tree.

            “An axe…what else would you use?” Eugeo asked. “Ah…well, you are an amnesiac, I wouldn’t expect you to just recall that.”

            I shook my head.

            “No, no, I know what sort of tools you can use to cut down a tree,” I said. “Saws, axes, you know. I was just…well…could I possibly see it?”

            “What do you need to see it for?” Eugeo asked.

            “I just have this funny feeling, you know…” I mumbled.

            “Perhaps it has something to do with regaining his memories!” Alice offered. “You know—like touching and feeling familiar things can sometimes spark a memory here or there. We’ve tried that with people who hit their heads really hard. Sometimes it works. Stimulation is the best way to encourage him to remember things.”

            “Right,” Eugeo said. “I’ll, uh, be right back then.”

            “C-cool,” I stammered.

            For some reason, I felt my cheeks heating up. Alice raised her eyebrows at me and dashed over to my side, her face wide with a bright smile. She poked my cheek and giggled at me for reasons I couldn’t comprehend.

            “Um…” I said.

            “You’re blushing,” she said, laughing. “Are you reminded of someone when you look at us?”

            “Wh…what do you mean?” I stammered.

            “When you watch me and Eugeo together, does it remind of yourself and perhaps a girlfriend or fiancé?” she asked.

            I felt my stomach sink a little. Was she implying that she was Eugeo’s girlfriend? If that was so, how was I supposed to explain that the funny feeling building up in my stomach wasn’t because I was recalling something, but rather because Eugeo got me flustered for some reason? When I’d first run into him, I couldn’t have helped but find him attractive.

            Then again, it was likely odd for me to find another boy attractive to begin with.

            “No…not exactly,” I said. “I think I’m just not used to the heat here.”

            “The heat?” Alice laughed.

            Was that a stupid thing to say?”

            “You’re in the furthest north part of the world and you’re complaining about the heat?” Alice asked.

            “I…uh…”

            “You’re very peculiar, Kazuto,” she said.

            Fortunately for me, Eugeo reappeared on the scene with a quizzical expression on his face. Alice stepped away from me and laughed, telling him that she was just curious about me, since she’d never seen someone from another part of the Human Empire before. I wondered how she so easily skirted the truth like that.

            “I brought the axe,” Eugeo said, stepping carefully over to me and holding it out. “If holding an axe helps you to regain your memory somewhat, then so be it. I just don’t see how this could work in a case like this.”

            “What do you mean?” Alice asked.

            “Well…we’re pretty sure Vector dropped him off in the woods,” Eugeo said, scratching his head. “It’s not a very normal sort of amnesia. It’s magic amnesia. The only reason we even have a name for Kazuto is that he had a piece of parchment on his person with two names on it; a girl’s name and a boy’s name. He could have just been the messenger, though.”

            I remained silent and took the axe gently from Eugeo’s hands. It was pretty hefty. My arms protested at holding up its weight. So at least from this I could ascertain that I wasn’t very used to hard labor. I turned the axe’s handle in my hands and sighed. This wasn’t working.

            However.

            A memory _did_ spark in my mind. I had my back pressed up against a wall. My body was screaming with pain and felt heavy. A man with brown hair and wild eyes was standing in front of me, holding an axe up above my head.

            “You and that godspawn will die if it’s the last thing I do, you wretched peasant!”

            The man swung the axe down, and I jolted out of the memory. At some point, I’d fallen on the ground and dropped Eugeo’s axe. Both him and Alice were looking down at me, their eyes wide.

            “Kazuto, is everything alright?” Alice asked.

            “Someone tried to kill me…” I breathed.

            No. Not just me, though. Someone else. Or rather, in his mind, some _thing_ else. I turned my eyes downward and clutched my stomach. I thought about Sister Azariya’s words from earlier and about the words he’d said in the memory. My heart skipped a beat.

            “There’s no way…” I murmured.


	6. The Heir

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: As I've mentioned before, I am a believer in trigger warnings. My brainstorming for this has continued down a reaaaally touchy topic so here's my warning- while I'm not explicit, Tw for rape mentions, abuse mentions specifically discussed in this chapter.

            There were a few choice words that Sugou could use to describe that mixed up creature that was legally his wife. None of them, of course, he ever dared to breathe in public. It had been terrible enough receiving the child and finding out certain things came to disturb him. He’d put up with that child for five years, and he’d tried to put aside the cross-dressing. But something more than the child deeming to call herself a man bothered Sugou.

            It was her offsrping.

            The secret was something he’d demanded that his wife never divulge. He’d taken his wife when she’d reached the age of thirteen, and since she was his to do with as he pleased, he played with her small body and took her as often as he wanted. She was of childbearing age, and he’d married, in the end, to produce an heir. He saw no harm to it. But no matter what he did, she wouldn’t conceive. He told himself to be patient. He told himself it was because he was rushed.

            So, he left her alone for a time. He gave her space. Perhaps if she became accustomed to her life in his estate, she would feel more relaxed. One of his female servants had suggested that stress was often likely to prevent fertility. It was a wives’ tale for sure, but he’d heeded it anyways, just in case. So, he gave her practically a half a year to herself and didn’t touch her once. And yet he remembered his horror like it was yesterday.

 

            The female servants that had been attending to the girl continued to give him vague reports about her well-being. She hadn’t left her room for a few months. Sugou himself had been giving her space for about six months, but he had seen her about the estate for meals and things during the first three months of their separation. Due to this ongoing absence, Sugou finally decided to go to her chambers and check for himself.

            He approached her door and straightened out his garments. He wouldn’t be approaching her alone, of course. As he suspected her of being bedridden with some illness, he’d called in a doctor to examine her. Giving a smile to feign confidence to the doctor, he turned back around and rapped his knuckles on the door.

            “I’m entering the room,” he said firmly.

            There was no reply.

            Frowning, he wrapped his fingers around the door’s handle and calmly pulled the door open. A few of the female servants were bustling about. The majority of them were at the girl’s bedside. One was taking a tray away that seemed to be the dishes leftover from a breakfast that had been eaten in this room instead of outside in the dining hall. Sugou almost grimaced. She was living her whole life behind this door, without him. It was bad enough that she already viewed herself as a boy; now he had this to deal with.

            He approached the bedside, causing the servants to scurry out of his way. The girl was sitting in the bed, talking quietly to one of the servants who had leaned over to ask her something. Sugou couldn’t hear their words, but he did hear a sharp gasp come from the girl’s throat as he approachd them. The servant jumped back and bowed when Sugou stopped at the bedside.

            “Are you ill?” he asked, getting straight to the point.

            “Please, milady isn’t feeling well,” the servant said hurriedly. “It would be best for you to let her rest while we—”

            “I want to hear it from her own mouth,” Sugou said, resting his eyes on the girl.

            “I don’t feel well,” she said.

            “Then I will have the doctor look at you,” Sugou said.

            The servant from before appeared to be shaking. She mouthed something to the girl, who gave her an apologetic and forgiving smile. Sugou held his hand out to his difficult bride and waited. She didn’t move. He bit into his lip and cleared his cleared his throat. Finally, she reached out and grasped his hand firmly.

            “If you insist,” she said, glaring at him with eyes like icy daggers.

            The girl had jet black eyes that matched her dark hair. It had all, to his dismay, been maintained at a masculine, short length. When she had arrived at his estate, she’d worn the clothes of a boy; he had quickly ensured that all of her clothing was that of a proper lady. He, however, could not prevent her from finding ways to flatten her breasts against her chest. No matter how much he took away from her, she would always repurpose some garment or linen to serve that purpose.

            He pulled her out of the bed roughly by the arm and she stumbled a few feet. A few of the servants jumped to help her, but he lifted up a hand to stop them. The girl took a few moments to right herself. It was clear she’d been lying down for a while from her uneasy posture. He glanced at her and drew in his breath.

            “With all due respect, Lord Sugou, I do not believe your wife to be ill,” the doctor said, also glancing at her.

            It was true that she didn’t show any of the signs of illness at all. She was not coughing, nor did she appear to have issues breathing. She wasn’t vomiting or swaying like she was dizzy. Her skin wasn’t pale, nor was she flushed red from fever. But despite the overall lack of symptoms for illness, it was immediately clear what the issue was.

            The only thing that looked off about her was the rounded protrusion of her abdomen. He hadn’t noticed it until she’d straightened up, but it was obvious enough. Somehow, despite her being out of his hands for six months, she’d managed to conceive. Considering how she had only vanished from sight within the past three months, Sugou knew that it couldn’t be his child. She didn’t look far enough along for it to be his.

            “Who did this to you?” he said, his voice almost a whisper.

            She lifted her head up and locked eyes with him. She almost never did that, but something in her eyes now was burning with hurt and rage that he’d never seen her express before. So, she hadn’t done this to betray him at all. The incident had scarred her in some way. At least he knew that she had enough sense not to sleep with other men.

            “Why stay silent when we both know that this isn’t what you wanted?” he asked her, pulling her closer to him.

            He grasped her chin with his hands and made sure her face stayed right in front of his. Her eyebrows bent downwards towards her nose. Her jaw was set. She didn’t want him touching her, either. That was always clear, but he didn’t care about that part. She was his property, not some headstrong, independent boy like she thought she was.

            “Who robbed me of my heir, you bitch?” he asked.

            He pressed his free hand against her stomach and grimaced. This hadn’t gone according to his plans at all. This wasn’t the heir he’d tried for two years to get. But if he played his cards right, it could be. So long as no one knew the truth, he could get away with this. That meant he needed to get rid of the real father. All he needed was for his wife to comply.

            “Call me by my real name, and maybe I’ll help you,” she had said.

 

            Sugou frowned outside of his window. It had taken him a couple of months past that point, but he’d soon learned the truth about that baby. His wife was a cursed individual, and finally, after so long of having to see her pregnant with that demon spawn, he’d sent her aimed back to her home, guising it as her parents wanting to reclaim her. Fortunately for him, she'd vanished on her own to deliver that thing. He'd thought he was rid of them both.

            But the child was almost five now, and Sugou still needed an heir. That meant he needed his wife back. So, he’d force her back.


	7. The Gift of Forgetting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: APOLOGIES BECAUSE I KNOW I'M LATE TO MY NORMAL POSTING SCHEDULE! I have been moving things and haven't touched my laptop since Friday. Ugh. But see, I have something! I'll try my best to keep updating regularly while I job search!

            I sat at the table and stared down at the bowl of soup placed in front of me, fighting between whether or not I should ignore the one memory that had flashed in my brain earlier or dwell on it. Thinking about it made my whole body shiver as if it were colder in here than it actually was. Sister Azariya seemed to notice, too. She walked over and draped a blanket over my shoulders. Her hands rested on my shoulders.

            “Is everything all right, Kazuto?” she asked.

            Fighting my true emotions, I smiled up at her as best I could and gave her a nod. I then picked up the bowl of soup and pressed the rim of it to my lips and took a sip of the soup. The flavor seemed foreign. I was in a different geographical location than I was used to, so it made sense that I didn’t feel any sort of memory or nostalgia from just consuming their food. Still, it was delicious and warm, so it in the very least provided a small amount of comfort.

            “You haven’t spoken since you told Eugeo and Alice that someone tried to kill you,” Sister Azariya said, sitting herself down next to me. “They told me that after you said that, you just kind of clammed up.”

            I bit my lip and stared down into the bowl of soup. There wasn’t much for me to think out, I supposed. I had two pieces of information: someone had, indeed, tried to kill me and it had something to do with what he referred to as “godspawn.” Sighing, I lifted the bowl to my lips again and started drinking the soup to avoid providing her with an answer. I wasn’t sure what to say quite yet.

            “He’s muttered a little,” Eugeo offered. “But it’s been too quiet to understand.”

            “I think giving him the axe might have been a bad idea after all,” Alice grumbled. “And I’d been thinking we were onto something good. I think he recalled something awful.”

            “I think I’d classify someone trying to kill me as pretty awful,” Sister Azariya said in agreement.

            Three sets of eyes were all looking at me. I set down the bowl, now empty, and took a breath. Eugeo was giving me a funny look, likely because of how quickly I finished my dinner. I wiped my face off with my sleeve and stared down into my lap. Didn’t they realize that all this staring was awkward? Especially coming from Eugeo—him making such a face made me feel incredibly embarrassed.

            “Can…can I talk with you alone, Sister?” I asked.

            “Of course,” she said. “Just let me finish up here and we can talk in the back.”

            “Thank you,” I said.

            I stood up and turned to leave the dining area, but Eugeo gently grasped my arm. My feet stopped in their tracks. I couldn’t bring myself to look in his eyes—not while feeling so embarrassed. His fingers squeezed my arm a little.

            “I’ll come and get you before I head off to work tomorrow, okay?” he said.

            “Why?” I asked.

            “Would you rather just be alone here at the church?” Eugeo asked.

            He had a point. I shook my head.

            “Good,” he said. “I’ll be around early, so make sure you’re up and dressed.”

            “Right,” I said.

            Suddenly his hand was no longer on my arm. I could still feel the heat from his palm. Refusing to turn around, I resumed walking towards the back room that I had changed in earlier and shut the door behind myself. With the door now closed, it was significantly darker in this room than it had been in the other. I sat down on the makeshift bed and waited for Sister Azariya to come in and find me.

            When she returned, I had started to nod off a bit. I hadn’t noticed her entering the room, but she was suddenly in front of me, gently shaking my shoulder. I blinked a few times and squinted at her; she was holding a candle in her hand. She was smiling again. It made me wonder what had her always so happy.

            “You could’ve taken a candle, you know,” she said.

            “Oh, I…right,” I said.

            She turned herself and sat down next to me. I watched as she set the candle down between our feet.

            “So, what did you want to talk about?” she asked.

            “It’s about what you said earlier…” I said, trailing off a little.

            She laughed.

            “I said a lot of things earlier, Kazuto,” she said. “You’ll have to be a little more specific than that, I’m afraid.”

            I bit my lip and looked down.

            “In that memory, the man who wanted to kill me said something about…godspawn or something,” I said, keeping my eyes glued to the floor as I spoke. “I don’t really know what he meant by that, if he meant me or someone else. I guess I kind of wanted to ask you for your expertise on that, since, you know, you work here in the church and everything…”

            “God…spawn?” she repeated.

            I nodded.

            “That’s the words I think I recall,” I said.

            “Are you asking me if it’s possible that either you or your child is the child of…one of the gods?”

            I nodded again.

            “I mean, I suppose it’s not entirely impossible, but,” she said, “I haven’t ever heard of an instance specifically where any of the gods have parented half-god children. If I had to guess about any of them, it would most likely be Vector; he’s known for playing tricks on humans, I don’t see why harassing them in other ways wouldn’t fit his personality.”

            Vector. The Darkness God, from what I’d been told. I shuddered, trying to imagine what sort of child an evil god would produce. I took a deep breath and leaned back against the wall behind us. It was cold.

            “I hate not knowing much about myself,” I said softly. “But at the same time, a part of me thinks about this one memory and wonders if forgetting my life up to this point is some kind of blessing in disguise.”

            “It’s not always good to forget bad memories,” Sister Azariya said.

            I turned my head slightly and frowned at her.

            “What do you mean?” I asked.

            She smiled and slowly stood back up. With her left hand, she gently patted my head and then she walked away. At the door, she paused and turned back around, still wearing the same smile as before. Our eyes met for a brief moment and then she closed them. A laugh escaped her throat, but it didn’t seem to be out of amusement.

            “I’ll let you think about that on your own,” she said.

            With that, she closed the door behind her almost soundlessly. I stared at it for a handful of seconds and then closed my eyes again. The vague face of the man from the one memory I had seemed to be imprinted on the backs of my eyelids. My eyes snapped open again. Maybe Sister Azariya had a point. I didn’t want to remember this. I wanted to forget it again; I wanted to forget this face. I wanted to forget what I did.

            “What…I…did?” I mumbled.


	8. Unexpected Ability

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So every time I think I know my own plot I make a new development. It's gotten so crazy and the awkward part is that ya'll can't even see what's being changed in the plot because it's in my head and I do checks to make sure I'm not contradicting what I already posted. I'm sure this chapter will clarify nothing (sigh) but I am working on chapter nine and hopefully that will clear some plot stuff up.

            Unable to sleep, I woke up before dawn broke and headed off in the direction of the giant cedar tree Alice had shown me the day before. I reached its location just as the sky began to turn pink. I thought the place might be a silent location to sit and ponder, but I could hear the thudding of Eugeo’s axe as it collided with the fissure he was making in the tree’s side. Sucking in my breath, I decided to go off and look for somewhere else to be alone, but as I turned my back, he must have spotted me.

            “Kazuto?”

            I slowly let my breath out between my teeth and turned around. Unsure of what to do from there, I waved a little and smiled. Eugeo looked perplexed. If I had to guess, he likely wasn’t used to seeing people show up here without prior notice.

            “I-I was just wandering around, don’t mind me,” I said.

            He stepped into the sunlight just enough that his light skin shone orange. His head was gently shaking from side to side. I watched his flaxen hair shift as his head moved. It looked like gold in the sunrise. I covered my mouth and frowned a little. I was focusing too much on him. Surely, he’d notice that.

            “My job’s really not all that interesting,” Eugeo said.

            With his right sleeve, he wiped off his forehead. It was just barely morning and he was already breaking a sweat. Back where I was from, did I do this sort of job? Did I wake up before the sun rose and work? Looking at the lack of muscle on my body, I’d guess not. My hands were slightly rough, but not enough to say I did anything important with them.

            “Is something wrong?” Eugeo asked.

            “Oh, I…” I said, trailing off.

            I glanced at the woods behind him and decided I’d rather make an excuse and dash off than stay and try to explain why I’d wandered out this way. He’d told me his job was to try and chop down this tree, so in retrospect I should have known that he’d be here instead of at home or somewhere in town.

            “I was just walking,” I said. “It’s the only path I know, so, I’ll just keep following it. Carry on. I’ll be fine.”

            Forcing myself forward, I scurried past Eugeo, trying not to make eye contact with him as I dashed for the woods behind him. In the side of my vision I saw a brief flash of movement; he’d tried and failed to reach out and grab my arm as I’d run past. I heard him drop his axe, so I instinctively, yet inexplicably, broke into a sprint.

            “Why…are you…running?!” I heard him panting behind me.

            Honestly, I didn’t know. I shook my head, refusing to answer. If I thought about it for a moment, it was most likely just to avoid becoming flustered again. But there was no way I was telling Eugeo that. I couldn’t just admit to him that I felt a certain way when he interacted with me. We’d only known each other for a day. It was just my confused, empty head finding something to focus on.

            “Kazuto, come back!” Eugeo shouted.

            I cast a quick glance over my shoulder to see how much distance I’d placed between myself and Eugeo. I’d sprinted ahead of him rather far. Satisfied, I turned my head back around and breathed a momentary sigh of relief. However, my foot landed wrong on a stray branch and my body was suddenly toppling forward. And just my luck—I fell directly in the direction of a slightly steep slope and proceeded to roll down it.

            When I hit the bottom of the slope, my skin was stinging from the impact of branches and rocky terrain as I’d rolled. Groaning, I pushed myself up a little off the ground. My right wrist felt sore. From above, I heard rustling limbs and a few rocks fall. Turning my head, I looked up and saw Eugeo was climbing down after me.

            “Sheesh, you’re quick,” Eugeo was muttering.

            As he stepped carefully to get down to me, I stared up at him with tears blurring my vision. I felt so embarrassed. There he was, climbing down to my rescue, after I’d run from him to avoid getting flustered. I let my body drop back down to the ground and buried my face in my arms. It didn’t make any good sense.

            _Why? Why do I feel like this?_

            “Can you stand up?”

            I shook my head no without even testing to see if I could. Emotionally speaking, I didn’t feel capable of standing. It was as if something in my gut was trying to react to his presence. The feeling was so strong, yet I didn’t even know where it came from or what it was. I slowly lifted my head up and looked up at him, squinting.

            “What?”

            “Do I…know you?” I asked.

            “We just met yesterday, yeah,” Eugeo said, laughing a little. “So, in a sense, yeah, you know me. Did you, per chance, hit your head when you fell down?”

            I could feel my cheeks heating up from the awkwardness of the situation. But I couldn’t feel so strongly connected to him if I didn’t know him from before the amnesia. This felt like something from beyond just a momentary glance where one felt attraction. And I got the feeling, despite hardly knowing myself, that my gut instincts weren’t lying to me. I’m not someone who just instantly feels attraction. I would have needed at least a few days to get to know him.

            “Kazuto?”

            “Before that…?” I asked, my words trailing off.

            Eugeo sighed.

            “Remember what I told you?” he asked. “That people with your hair color don’t live in the Norlangarth Empire? They’re from Eastabarieth. How do you propose we ran across each other if we’re from different places? One of us would have had to cross a border, and only merchants can do that, you know.”

            I squinted harder at him. I wasn’t going to let this go.

            “How do you know that?” I asked.

            “Because merchants get a special—” he started.

            “Not that part,” I said.

            Eugeo blinked at me, showing no emotions either negative or positive. He patiently waited for me to finish.

            “How do you know people from Eastabarieth can have black hair?” I asked. “How do you know that if you’ve never crossed a border before? You’d have never seen someone from Eastabarieth; even if someone told you, you would have said something different. Like, ‘supposedly’ or another word expressing that you weren’t sure. But you seem so sure of it. Like you actually know that people from that empire can have black hair.”

            Silence hung in the air. Eugeo seemed to be thinking about his next response. Not once did he break eye contact with me as he thought. I shifted my position so that I was sitting upright. My hand brushed against a nearby limb—without thinking, I wrapped my fingers tightly around it. I gripped it so hard my knuckles turned right. Eugeo’s eyes jerked to where my hand was.

            “What?” I asked.

            “How are you…doing that…?” he asked.

            I looked at my hand. The branch was turning to ashes in my fist.


	9. The Truth About Yui

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm back and I keep on the side brainstorming other fanfic ideas with Reki Kawahara works (i.e. Accel World, even though I really do feel tempted to do something with my good son Minoru from The Isolator...but that fandom doesn't even seem to exist like...I need to find another fan oh god it's killing me slowly). I told myself I had to finish one of the four serious ongoing ones I have now. No worries- I will not abandon this, or the others, for the sake of caving to my whims. I *do* have a semi-abandoned SAO fic using Aincrad as a fantasy basis...I could upload that if anyone wanted to see more of my VR-turned-real world stuff. It's not Yujikiri, though, it's Kirisuna. Anyways enough of me rambling. Here's some Asuna rambling.

            Asuna knew, despite not wanting to know it all, pretty much everything to do with Yui. She’d met Kazuto, five years prior, before Yui had been born, and she’d gotten all of the story from him about who Yui’s biological father was, who he’d claimed was the father to Sugou, and why’d he’d made such a dangerous, out-of-the-blue claim to his undesired noble husband. Which, in turn, meant she knew something extremely sensitive about Kazuto himself—but that was a whole different issue.

            As she watched the four-year-old girl run around the room in circles chasing her aunt, Asuna found herself focusing incredibly too hard on little details, trying to pick them out of Yui’s characteristics. It was true that she favored Kazuto, but her nose clearly belonged to her father; although Asuna had only seen that boy a few times.

            And that was to send him away.

 

_Five years earlier…_

            The boy was standing at the table, leaning forward on his palms and looking quite out of breath. His sleeves were rolled up to show that he had a rather peachy skin tone, something that was just as uncommon in Eastabarieth as were his green eyes and blond hair. His eyes looked earnest as he spoke with the man seated behind it, a merchant who sold spices. Asuna watched as he picked one hand up and waved in the direction of the rest of the market behind him.

            This was him. This was definitely him. Kazuto had described a boy who looked like a foreigner was supposed to look like. They’d never seen someone from Norlangarth, but he fit the idea that most people had of what these people supposedly looked like. White, but peachy, skin, light hair, light eyes—and if she listened closely enough, he sort of had an accent. And here she was thinking she’d never come across this guy.

            She looked back down at what she had originally been looking at. The merchant’s table she was viewing was for a jeweler, and her father had offered to buy her whatever she liked, so long as she was the one to pick it out. It was likely just a technique to keep her happy for all of the times that he tried to marry her off and got on her nerves. Her father wasn’t even at the market; she was with her brother today.

            “You looked at that guy for a long time,” Kouichirou said. “Do you know him?”

            Asuna gave her brother a pointed look.

            “If I knew him, I’d go and say hi to him,” she said. “It just struck me odd that his hair was such a light color. Here I was thinking that we were the lightest-haired folk in Eastabarieth, but that fellow over there has hair that’s the color of flax.”

            “True, true,” Kouichirou said. “Do you mind if I go over and look at some of those saddles over there? No offense, but you’re taking an awfully long time to decide on a single piece of jewelry and it’s ridiculously boring.”

            “That’s fine,” Asuna said, giving him a small fake, but apologetic, smile.

            “Great,” he said.

            And as quickly as that, her brother was off on the other side of the market, lost in his own world as he discussed the designs of different saddles with their artisan. Her eyes wandered back over to where the blond boy had been standing, only to find that he’d left. She frowned. He had either gotten what he’d needed or had left out of frustration. There was nothing more she should have had to think about it.

            “Excuse me.”

            Yet he’d reappeared in a matter of seconds, just like that, leaning around her to get the attention of the merchant in front of her. From up close, his eyes told her that he was desperate and dead serious. She blinked a few times and looked him up and down. This? This was the boy Kazuto had found attractive? He wasn’t really much, and based on his clothing, he had to be a commoner.

            “I’m looking for someone and I’m wondering if perhaps you’ve seen him around here lately,” the blond boy said. “He’s about my height, but with black hair and black eyes. On the thinner side. Might have been wearing a dress—it’s…uh…a hobby.”

            “Get lost, peasant,” the merchant said, waving his hand dismissively. “I don’t have time to be dealing with farmers. Unless you’ve somehow got the money to be buying goods from me, then go elsewhere. I’m sure your cross-dressing friend isn’t anywhere around here—he’s probably with the other peasants you seem to have been separated from.”

            “R-right,” the boy said.

            He gave a polite bow, though clearly distressed, and turned to leave.

            “I might have seen him,” Asuna said.

            When the boy perked up and turned back to her, Asuna instantly regretted having said anything at all. She didn’t want to help him find Kazuto; even though Kazuto technically had known this boy longer, if he was far enough out of the picture, Kazuto might be more likely to consider her as an option. Still, despite her mistake, she could use this to her advantage, if she played her cards right.

            “You know him?” he asked.

            “Bold of you to assume so, after I only said that I might have seen him,” Asuna said.

            She nodded in the direction of an alleyway.

            “We can talk somewhere more privately,” she said. To the merchant: “When the giant nerd looking at the saddles over there returns and asks about me, let him know that I like the cross necklace with the rubies.”

            Lifting her skirt a little as she walked towards the alley, she checked once over her shoulder to make sure the flaxen-haired boy was following her. She slipped into the opening between the buildings and leaned against the back of one, waiting for the boy to catch up. He jogged into the alley and turned to face her, giving her a peculiar look.

            “Why did we have to talk over here?” he asked.

            “Because your little affair with my friend Kazuto has Lord Sugou’s guards searching the entire region for someone who might even hint at being the man who touched his wife,” Asuna said, feeling her mouth go sour just mentioning the word wife. “You never stopped to think that while you respect Kazuto for who he is that others do not, and that he might have been trapped in a dangerous arrangement due to that lack of respect, did you?”

            “That’s so oddly specific,” the boy said, frowning. “Why _would_ I assume that he’d married someone?”

            Asuna had figured a peasant wouldn’t think of such things. Kazuto had been a peasant, too, and it showed in his naivety of misunderstanding how nobles functioned. Without any thought to his consequences, Kazuto had just left the estate, hooked up with this blond peasant boy she was talking to, and was being punished for carrying mystery boy’s child. Stupid peasants. Was it normal for them to have affairs just because of an unhappy arranged marriage? It might have been normal for nobles—but at least they knew how to hide it.

            “You have a couple of options here,” Asuna said.

            The flaxen-haired boy waited patiently for her to continue.

            “One, you continue your little search and eventually, when Lord Sugou’s men catch you, you’ll rot away in a jail cell until they decide to execute you,” she told him. “Two, you return to your homeland without a word more said about Kazuto and pretend like this nonsense never happened.”

            “The way you put it, it sounds like there’s more to it than just leaving and trying to act like nothing happened at all,” he said.

            Asuna gritted her teeth and took a few steps towards the boy.

            “Then consider it a threat,” she said, trying to keep her cool. “You can hide from Lord Sugou all you want, but I know who you are, and I know how to gain an audience with him. For Kazuto’s sake, I don’t want you anywhere near him. Whatever spark of love you thought you felt with him three or four months ago ought to be put out. Go home. Forget about him. Even if you don’t forget and somehow happen across him again, pretend as if you forgot and act like you don’t even know him. It’s for his own good.”

            Frowning, the flaxen-haired boy seemed to consider this for a moment. He clearly didn’t want to follow her instruction, but her insinuation that she might tell Lord Sugou about the affair seemed to trouble him. He no doubt understood that his lack of caution had led him to a grave mistake—Asuna knew what he looked like. His eyes suddenly locked with hers, and instead of the feeling of hurt or anger she expected, his eyes seemed to be filled with sympathy.

            “You’re in love with him, aren’t you?” he asked, smiling a little.

            His question came so abruptly that Asuna wheeled herself backwards against the opposite wall and averted her eyes. It was a bold assumption. She hadn’t known Kazuto for all that long, and yet, neither had he. If he was strong enough to admit that after a few days he felt that way about the boy, then why did it fill her head with dizzying thoughts? Asuna knit her brow and shot him an angry glare.

            “If you don’t leave by the end of the month, I’ll make sure Lord Sugou has your head,” she said sharply.

            Without another word, she stormed off, unable to face him any longer.

 

            The flaxen-haired boy never showed up again in Eastabarieth; at least, Asuna hadn’t seen him anywhere or heard word of him still being around. After all that time, she still regretted at least not telling the peasant that he was a father. Now, he’d never know. Lord Sugou never found him out; the cover story Kazuto had so dangerously used was that the darkness god, Vector, was Yui’s real father.

            Asuna had to wonder—was this the cause of Kazuto’s disappearance? Was he being punished for such a lie? Or had he, as her heavy heart feared, run away in hopes of finding Yui’s father again? She hoped to the gods that it was the former.


	10. Well, Which Is It?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: It's brief, it's certainly not my best work, and to be honest, it was a desperate ploy to give you SOMETHING so you didn't have to be put off-schedule. RIP in peace, Walmart is killing me slowly. So, I note that it's chapter 10 and I put a violence tag- and look at that, there's no violence other than implied assault here. I can assure you- nothing I write ever leaves out violence, I can't help myself. It'll happen. Plus, we all know that eventually, some way or another, Kirito always gets ahold of a sword, regardless of the universe he's in. Please bear with me and all that Walmart tosses at me.
> 
> As a side note, I posed my little Kirito Nendoroid and it looks like he's dead inside but prancing away like he's in some sort of musical. I showed my dad and he laughed his ass off. And now that I look at it, he's pointing Elucidator right at a Sinon strap hanging nearby...

            “I…I don’t…I don’t know how I…”

            The words just wouldn’t come out right. I had no explanation for the tree branch suddenly disintegrating in my hand. Sure, I likely was the cause of the branch turning into dust. That made the most logical sense in this situation. How I accomplished that was beyond me. I stared down at my hands and swallowed, then looked up at his brilliant green eyes.

            “You never answered my question.”

            _Aha! Divert the topic! Good idea._

            Eugeo blinked at me, his eyes begging me to take a look at the situation and wonder why he hadn’t answered that question yet. I frowned and stared at my hands again. In his own right, pointing out the tree branch trick was more confounding than me speculating that I’d known him before now.

            “Look, I can’t remember much,” I said. “If you say something about whether or not I knew you, perhaps it might somehow jog my memory about turning trees into splinters. As of right now, I recall about as much about this recent discovery as you know about its existence. So.”

            “Kazuto, we’re from different parts of the Human Empire,” he said. “Parts that are separated by walls and you need special paperwork to pass through.”

            “And?” I said.

            “And what?” Eugeo shot back.

            I drew in a deep breath and met his gaze again, this time trying to look as serious as possible.

            “You keep saying that like people can’t get across without that sort of paperwork,” I said. “But in truth, how do you think these supposed lost children of Vector or whatever cross borders. They probably play that amnesia role sometimes just to get away with crossing borders illegally. People then feel sorry for them and they get out of whatever situation they were fleeing.”

            “Don’t be ridiculous,” Eugeo said. “You saying that sounds like you snuck over here. Are you lying about having amnesia?”

            “No, no, that’s true for me,” I said, humming. “Ah, but if I was lying—ah! I should have said I was! Then I could have said I met you back in…what was my hometown’s name again?”

            “You’re hopeless,” Eugeo muttered.

            “See, but, I think what tipped me off isn’t just—” I stopped short.

            I most certainly couldn’t tell him that I felt my heart race every time he got close. That wouldn’t go over well at all. I cleared my throat and decided to start over.

            “You’ve just accepted me for me from the start,” I said.

            “What?” Eugeo asked, blinking.

            “Don’t give me that,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest. “You know, don’t you? You’ve know the whole time. Sister Azariya didn’t know until I undressed, but you’re completely aware and don’t seem to care. Which, you know, is a good thing. I like that you acknowledge me as Kazuto not…oh…I don’t even remember what my birth name is…”

            Eugeo was staring at me with an incredulous look on his face.

            “How…exactly…did you know…that I knew?” he said slowly.

            I bit my tongue. I hadn’t actually known that. It had been a last-ditch effort to try and get him to slip up, and it had worked. I passed well enough that if he hadn’t known me before, he would have likely been flustered, discovering that I didn’t have the parts he assumed I had. Yet he fully admitted, albeit hesitatingly, that he did, in fact, know that I wasn’t biologically male.

            “I…didn’t.”

            And now I’d admitted that I’d pushed him into saying he knew.

            “I’m sorry,” I said, looking back down. “I shouldn’t have…done that.”

            Eugeo sighed.

            “You’re always so impulsive,” he said, laughing a little. “Which is why I like you. Probably why Asuna likes you, too.”

            “A-Asuna?” I stammered.

            Who was that? 

            “The noble girl,” Eugeo said, as if it were obvious. “I suppose you don’t recall who she is at the moment, but she really, really likes you. So much so that she went out of her way to confront me and tell me to never interact with you again. That was four years ago…and then some. We were acting like foolish teenagers in love. All three of us.”

            “I-in love?!” I spluttered.

            “Oh, yeah, don’t act like you don’t retain some of that sentiment,” Eugeo said, laughing a little. “You keep blushing. It made me feel good, even if you’d forgotten who I was. But my trip into Eastabarieth and my affair with you was the most out of line thing I’ve ever done. It’s not normal for me to sneak into other countries and run off to have sex with an almost stranger.”

            I felt my face getting hot.

            “We…we did _what_ now?!” I stammered.

            My brain trailed back to what Sister Azariya had mentioned yesterday.

            “Say, um, wait…” I murmured.

            “I’m not meaning to shock you,” Eugeo said hurriedly. “I realize it was hasty and risky, too. I mean…I don’t know what possessed us to do that so soon after meeting each other. And besides, I knew at the time that you were married. I mean, what if something had happened? Your husband would probably be furious.”

            “H-husband?”

            Eugeo knew more about me than I had been anticipating. I’d thought maybe we were just friends or had met when one of us had done something particularly sneaky and ended up in the other’s section of the empire. This, however, was something I hadn’t been prepared to hear at all. This was something beyond my meekest expectations.

            “Yeah,” Eugeo said with a nod. “I don’t know all of the details, but…if we’d had a child, that would have made things very difficult for you, wouldn’t it?”

            I couldn’t help but wonder aloud, then.

            “Which…which of you…?”

            “Which of us?”

            “Which of you is the father, then?”

            Eugeo’s eyes went wide and he made a sound like he was choking.

            “Did you remember something about a child?!”

            I shook my head.

            “N-no! I just—Sister Azariya said I have one!”

            “How would _she_ know? She didn’t know you before!”

            “Something about how it looked like I’d had a kid before, I’m not good at girl stuff!” I exclaimed. “I just…if I _did_ have a child somewhere, was it with you or this husband you say I have?”

            Eugeo buried his face in his hands and groaned. I probably should have kept this last bit to myself until I could confirm whether or not I actually had a child. Now, Eugeo was probably rethinking his life of possibly being an absent father. My own desire to figure out what was going on had caused enough damage for one day. I needed to keep my mouth shut.

            “We’re going to go and talk to her,” Eugeo said. “Perhaps she can give us some insight. Besides…there might be a sacred art she’s not telling us about that might give us some clues.”

            And apparently, he wasn’t going to let this go.


	11. The Demigod

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I apparently revert to the same plot point to cope with trauma or something. I'm so sorry. AO3 was down on my server this morning, but I have a chapter. The internet can't win today.

_A little over four years earlier…_

            “If I’m being quite honest, I think you’re overreacting, Asuna. After all, Sugou quite literally threw me out. That’s a good thing, right? No more dealing with that guy.”

            From behind Kazuto, who definitely had to be putting on airs that he was fine, Asuna had half a mind to punch him right where it hurt—in the deep gash that she was tending to on his back-left shoulder. That, of course, would have been pretty cruel. Sugou had turned him out of his estate, but not after inflicting pain on Kazuto. The reasoning for such an issue was slightly off, to say in the least.

            “He put up with you for so long, but he finally decided he didn’t want to see the kid at all,” Asuna said.

            She pressed a wet cloth to the wound and heard Kazuto suck in a sharp breath of air. The gash ran from the top of his shoulder down to about his mid-back. It had happened earlier, when Sugou had screamed for Kazuto to leave or die. It had torn through the fabric of his clothing and the strips of cloth he’d been using to flatten his chest. His hands were pressed against his chest, holding the fabric to them. He wasn’t saying anything, but it clearly bothered him to be shirtless, even if it was to treat such a serious injury.

            “We really have him fooled, don’t we?” Kazuto said, chuckling nervously.

            Frowning, Asuna finished cleaning the wound and reached for the makeshift bandages. They’d torn up the bottom of her skirt to wrap the wound, but she wasn’t sure that it would be enough. As she carefully wrapped the wound, she noticed that the bleeding hadn’t stopped, despite her cleaning. She felt as if she wasn’t doing enough. If she had been a doctor, she could have fixed this in no time.

            She tied the bandages on top of his shoulder and walked around to his front to talk to him face to face. He was staring down at the ground. When she reached over to touch his face, he looked up at her, blinking. His eyes were wet with tears.

            “Are…are you okay?” she stammered.

            “Just…pain,” he said.

            He wiped at his eyes with his arm and gave her a forced smile. As if to prove he was fine, Kazuto pushed himself up off of the crate he was sitting on and tried to stand up. Asuna held her hands out to try and help him, but he waved her off.

            “It’s fine…I think I can make it…back home…” he murmured.

            Asuna was almost a hundred percent positive they wouldn’t be going anywhere tonight. As much as she didn’t want to just stay in some random farmer’s barn, Kazuto was injured badly enough that it would fatigue him to move on a regular day—not to mention, she was pretty certain he was avoiding telling her about a completely unrelated pain just to keep her from panicking. But she wasn’t an idiot; she was a woman. She’d seen this before. She knew what was going on.

            “Just sit down,” Asuna said, not at all hiding her forceful tone.

            She grasped Kazuto by the shoulders and forced him back down. This time, instead of on the crate he’d been sitting on, she made sure he was sitting on the ground and able to lean back against it. It might hurt to lean against his injury, but she needed him to just relax and rest as best as he could.

            “We have to…get back to my home…” Kazuto said.

            His voice sounded more strained than before. He was panicking, and he was fighting it. Asuna reached into the bag she’d managed to take along with them and pulled out one of his shirts. She slipped it over his head and pulled it down to cover him. Perhaps that would help him feel a little more at ease. She wrapped her fingers around his left hand and squeezed a little.

            “No offense, but I don’t think you’re going to make it,” Asuna said. “Your village is about an hour away. But I don’t think you’ll last an hour in this state. We’d have to stop in the middle of nowhere and…”

            She fell silent, not wanting to point out the obvious. Just as much as she didn’t want to say it, he likely didn’t want to hear it. But he wanted to push through, if he could, and make it back home before daybreak. Asuna, on the other hand, didn’t want to end up delivering a baby in the middle of the woods or by the side of the road because he was too stubborn to stay put.

            He laughed a little.

            “Is it that obvious…?” he asked.

            She found herself laughing as well.

            “More obvious than you claiming that your kid’s dad is Vector,” Asuna said, humored by the ruse they’d pulled on Lord Sugou. “Where did you even get such a weird lie? I mean, he fell for it, but…why even assume Vector would have half-human children to begin with?”

            Kazuto’s expression changed. He looked guilty, if Asuna had to put an emotion to it. His eyes were focused on a point in the dirt somewhere between his feet. She grasped his hand tighter and leaned forward a little bit.

            “I mean, it’s not a lie that Vector has half-human kids,” Kazuto said. “It’s just a lie that he made _this_ kid.”

            Asuna stared at him, unable to find any reason to believe him. Kazuto often had some crazy ideas, but this one was a bit too wild. How would he know something like that? He’d have to be…

            Ah, but of course.

            “Vector’s…your father…isn’t he?” Asuna asked.

            His nod was barely visible, but she saw it nonetheless. So, he didn’t exactly pull that story from out of nowhere, on a whim. He’d pulled it from his own experiences. Lord Sugou, of course, didn’t know that he’d essentially married a half-god. Then again, Asuna found that pill just as equally hard to swallow.

            “You’re not…fully human…” she mumbled.

            Yet he looked human. He came off just as human as her. Nothing about him seemed special or all that different—in terms of his half-deity status. If he was half-god, then why would he have allowed himself to get into a situation like the one he was currently in? She had questions to ask, but Kazuto double over and muffled a cry of pain into his elbow. Unsure of what to do, Asuna reached up and rubbed his back.

            It was going to be a long night.

            The door to the barn creaked open, revealing a shorter girl with brown hair that was tied up in pigtails. Her ruby-colored eyes glinted in surprise at seeing the pair of odd strangers in her barn, but she seemed to push that aside as she ran over to them.

            “Is…is your friend okay?” she asked.

            “He’s fine, he just…” Asuna stopped.

            That likely sounded odd to the girl, who had likely assumed Kazuto to be a girl. She shook her head and started over.

            “I’m Asuna, and this is Kazuto,” she said. “We’re kind of running away from his husband, who’s out to kill him, and we’d be grateful if we could hide here for a bit. You don’t have to alert your family or anything—just let us stay in here until…”

            Kazuto interrupted her with another muffled cry.

            “I-I’m Keiko,” the girl said, clearly not following. “My family won’t mind; don’t you think we should get her…uh…him…inside? If you can? We can try to make things a little more, uh, comfortable…”

            Asuna nodded in agreement. She stood up and pulled Kazuto back up to his feet and wrapped one of his arms around her shoulders for support. She explained to Keiko that he was injured as well and warned her to be careful about touching his back. They were able to get a few yards out of the barn before let go of Asuna and dropped to the ground.

            “Hey, come on…I know it hurts, but we have to get you inside,” Asuna said, offering him a hand.

            He just laughed and shook his head.

            “If I ever see Eugeo again…I’ll…”

            “Shh, just…just get into the house so we can help make you a little more comfortable, okay?” Asuna said.

            Keiko was nodding her head in agreement.

            “We might have to pick him up…” she said.

            Without any other options, and since Kazuto refused to move himself, Asuna and Keiko managed to pick him up and carry him into the house, while explaining the situation, as best as they could, to her parents. Keiko’s parents placed him in a bed and her mother stayed with them behind a closed door to help. Asuna pressed a cold cloth to Kazuto’s forehead and frowned.

            “Does this usually take so long?” she asked.

            Keiko and her mother laughed; as peasants, they were used to this sort of thing. Asuna might have known more than Kazuto, but she was still a noble. She was never present for such an event.

            “Your friend will be fine,” Keiko’s mother said. “But I doubt you’ll be able to move tomorrow, like you seem to think you will. You’re perfectly fine to stay and rest here.”

            “N-nonsene,” Kazuto stammered. “I have to get home…”

            He tried to sit up and move off of the bed, but the three women pinned him down gently and shook their heads. As he grasped the fabric beneath him, Asuna noticed it was crumbling into dust.

            _Ah, so there it is. He wasn’t lying. He’s not human._

            “D-don’t move, Kazuto…” Keiko said. “Just take it slow. You can stay here.”

            When the sun started to rise, the room they were in remained in darkness. It was clear that he didn’t know how to control his powers. The two peasants didn’t know what to make of the phenomenon, but they stayed to help until the end. By mid-morning, Yui was born, oblivious to the fact that her father was something slightly less than human.


	12. The Taboo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This definitely is a lot longer than I was projecting it would be. I'm so sorry- or, if you're enjoying it, I guess it's probably better that it keeps going on? Idk. I watched the trailer for the Alicization arc and I might cry because I love Eugeo with all of my heart. Who wants to watch it with me and cry? I'm assuming most of ya'll following this have read the arc since anime-only people would be like "what??". I'm excited, though. I wanna see some Alicization cosplay- kinda want to do some myself. Right now my only SAO cosplay is GGO Kirito. Kinda want to do Eugeo.

            When we entered the church, Sister Azariya was knelt down in prayer with all of the orphan children kneeling with her. Eugeo, while clearly impatient, pressed a finger to his lips to shush me and then bent his head as well. I awkwardly glanced around the room for a moment and then tilted my head down, staring at my feet. They wrapped up their prayer and all scurried off to somewhere else. I lifted up my chin to see Sister Azariya smiling warmly at the two of us.

            “Ah! Eugeo,” she said. “What brings you here? Shouldn’t you be out working?”

            “I need to know more about what happened after I left Eastabarieth,” Eugeo said. “Specifically, with Kazuto.”

            Sister Azariya straightened up, suddenly looking rather perturbed. Her expression betrayed that she knew nothing about his time spent in my home empire. She glanced at me and then down between us. Her eyes widened when she noticed Eugeo was gripping my left hand tightly. Considering that Alice Zuberg seemed to think of herself as Eugeo’s intimate partner, it made sense that seeing him hold someone else’s hand might be a shock.

            “You…were in the Eastabarieth Empire?” Sister Azariya asked.

            Frowning, Eugeo gave a curt nod.

            “I never told anyone, not even Alice,” Eugeo said. “Especially since it concerns a certain object Alice and I found as kids. We’d gone too far past the borders of the village and discovered a sword. Four or so years ago, when I vanished for a few months, that’s where I was. I was in Eastabarieth, looking for answers about the sword.”

            Sister Azariya pressed a hand to her chest and took a deep breath. The news must have been shocking to her.

            “It’s hard to believe someone like you, who always sticks so closely to the path you’ve been told to follow, would choose to break such a law and pass over into another empire,” she said, her voice low. “How does this relate to Kazuto?”

            “I met him there.”

            Eugeo had left out a lot of what he’d revealed to me in the forest earlier. I wondered if there was something written into the Taboo Index that forbid a relationship like ours. My brain still hadn’t caught up with all of this information. Then again, whether or not us being together was forbidden or not, I was pretty certain I understood a different reason he’d left it out.

            Intimacy outside of wedlock. The thought of him being with someone that wasn’t Alice. Both of those things would prove a shock to Sister Azariya, who devoted her life to the gods and the following of the Taboo Index. He was sparing her any more distress at the moment, but it would be hard to keep things from her if she were able to delve into my timeline with the sacred arts.

            “And…why do you need to know about what happened to him after you left?” she asked, skeptical.

            “You told him he had a child, didn’t you?” Eugeo asked.

            She smiled politely and nodded.

            “I think you misunderstand how much I can glean from the sacred arts,” she said. “I didn’t use anything special to determine that. I’ve helped many women in Rulid deliver their children; I know when someone’s had a child. The body changes after having a child. It was simple deduction after that. I could be wrong.”

            Her answer only seemed to stress Eugeo out even more. He turned around and wrapped his arms around me. I didn’t know what in the world he thought he was doing. My face burned with embarrassment. I met Sister Azariya’s eyes and awkwardly laughed.

            “Eugeo…uh…she’s…staring…”

            “I just don’t want you to have his kid,” Eugeo muttered.

            I wasn’t sure if that was a statement made out of jealousy or one made out of concern. He hadn’t mentioned much, but I legally had a husband back home. Based on the tone of his voice, it sounded as if this man wasn’t exactly the best.

            “He was so awful to you,” Eugeo carried on. “You were so scared. You didn’t know if you could trust me or not. Whatever he did to you, I don’t know, but I can’t accept that you would have that tie with him. You don’t deserve that.”

            I didn’t have a response for his kind words. I didn’t remember this man in the slightest—unless he was the man from the memory I’d recovered yesterday. I could understand the sentiments, but without anything else to go off of, I didn’t feel the fear that I’d felt before. All I could do was accept his feelings for what they were—pure, honest, and from the heart.

            “Eugeo,” Sister Azariya said.

            He straightened up and turned towards her, keeping his gaze down to the ground.

            “Yes?” he said.

            “Am I right in assuming that you two have committed a Taboo?” she asked.

            Eugeo opened his mouth to speak, but I pulled him behind myself and widened my stance instinctively. Sister Azariya was giving me a serious glare, one that said our sins weren’t going to be so easily forgiven. I returned her glare with a piercing look.

            “Leave him alone,” I said. “I’ll leave. You can put this all behind you.”

            “Kazuto!” Eugeo exclaimed.

            I put a hand up. He said nothing more. My offer wasn’t to him. It was to the nun who was staring me down at this very moment. I could tell it hurt her to think that Eugeo had committed a sin. He’d gone on for four years hiding this without any problems, fitting in well with his own village. I wasn’t about to ruin that for him now. I had enough information to know where I needed to head. A past affair with him would have to remain just that.

            “The Integrity Knights will find out,” she said. “I cannot simply pardon sins. The Taboo Index is law. If you’ve committed a Taboo by joining with this man, Eugeo, you’ll have to suffer the consequences of your actions. The moment you confess to me, they’ll be notified and head to Rulid to collect you.”

            “U-understood,” Eugeo said.

            “Don’t say anything you’ll regret,” I said.

            Apparently, in my foggy mind, I’d misjudged how much of a straight and narrow kind of person Eugeo was. He might have vanished for some time on a rogue adventure for answers about a sword, but that didn’t mean he would defy a nun in the church and lie to her face or hide information. He told her the truth, just like any good member of the Axiom Church would.

            “The answer is yes,” he said, finally locking eyes with her. “I slept with Kazuto.”

            I wanted to slam both hands into my face at the same time. Not willing to wait for Sister Azariya to call an Integrity Knight to come and haul Eugeo off, I grasped him by the arm and turned and ran right out of the church.

            “What are you doing?!” Eugeo exclaimed.

            “What do you think I’m doing?!” I shouted back. “I’m saving your life!”

            Sister Azariya stepped out of the church and called to some men nearby. She said something to them that I couldn’t hear and then pointed in our direction. I swore under my breath and glanced at Eugeo, struggling between keeping up with me and stopping and heading back to the church to meet his doom.

            “Oi! You mentioned a sword! Where is it?” I asked.

            “What…what do you need THAT for?” Eugeo stammered.

            “I’ll explain once we’re gone—now where is it?”

            “In the shed with the axe…near the Gigas Cedar.”

            I’d explain later; if we were going to flee, we needed protection.


	13. Personal Matters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I feel like in a sense when I write Asuna for this she seems like more of an antagonist than a love rival to Eugeo. It's like I struggle with making it seem more like she's doing what she feels is in both his and her best interests in her desire to be his partner, but can't seem to get across that she's not really set up as a villain out to destroy the Kazuto x Eugeo setup. I guess in an unposted, unfinished Kirisuna fic, I still had the Kirito/Asuna/Eugeo awkward love triangle thing. I'm hopeless.

            For a noble’s daughter, she sure found herself in a dark, questionable alley in peasant territory far too often. Asuna pulled her cloak tighter around herself and glanced over her shoulder at the group of friends she’d brought with her: Keiko, Rika, and Shino. This was the place she’d been told to meet with the information dealer. She was willing to pay any price to locate Kazuto, but she wasn’t willing to just meet this person alone.

            “So, uh, is this person going to hurry up and get here?” Rika asked. “I don’t want to be mugged in an alleyway.”

            She was holding a pickaxe in her hands, alert and ready to bash someone’s skull in if need be. Rika’s family was a mining family, who worked under the rule of Asuna’s father. She was just as much of a peasant as Keiko was—her family was a farming family. Shino, on the other hand, was a step up from a peasant and a step below a noble; her family consisted of soldiers and bodyguards. She’d been assigned as a bodyguard to Asuna at a rather young age.

            “Don’t just wave that thing around,” Shino said, gently grasping Rika’s hand to push the axe to a height that didn’t look like it could hit Keiko’s head. “If anything happens, I’ll protect you all. I never miss.”

            Shino was, in fact, an excellent archer.

            “Relax, ladies,” Asuna said. “I’m sure we’ll be fine.”  
            Something skittered across the alleyway. Their eyes all turned down to see a small rock roll to a stop at the edge of Asuna’s dress. Rika and Keiko both clung to her sides, quivering slightly. Asuna lifted her gaze and saw a person in a robe standing there. They’d arrived so quietly she hadn’t noticed them.

            “Are you the informant known as the Rat?” Asuna asked.

            The person lifted their head just enough so that Asuna could see their chin, mouth, and nose. On their cheeks, whiskers were painted as proof of their identity. Their lips were turned upwards into a playful grin.

            “And you’re Lady Asuna, from the Yuuki house,” the informant said.

            “A woman?” Rika murmured.

            The Rat chuckled and crossed her arms.

            “You betcha,” she said.

            Asuna frowned and took a step forward.

            “How did you know it was me?” Asuna said. “I hadn’t even introduced myself.”

            For a moment, the Rat was silent. Her grin was still present on her lips. She hummed and then pressed a finger to her lips.

            “There isn’t much I don’t know, Aa-chan,” she said, already picking a nickname for her client. “I know more about you than you’d likely want me to know. I’ll tell ya what I do know—for a price, of course.”

            Asuna shook her head.

            “I’m just here to pay for information on how to find someone,” Asuna said.

            She reached into her cloak and removed a sack of gold coins that she’d stolen from her father’s safe. Holding it out to the informant, she watched as an arm wrapped in bandages reached out to snatch the bag away from her.

            “How much can I buy with that?” she asked.

            The Rat opened the bag, shifted the coins around with her fingers a bit, and then smiled back at Asuna.

            “Who’re you looking to find?” she asked. “With this much, I could share quite a bit.”

            Unsure, Asuna glanced back at Shino, who nodded at her. If Shino thought the situation were safe, then she didn’t have too much to worry about. She could talk freely here if she wanted to. She drew in her breath and turned back to the Rat.

            “I’m looking for a peasant who goes by the name of Kazuto,” Asuna said. “He’s been missing for about a week. I can describe him, if you like.”

            “No need,” the Rat said, waving a hand.

            She slipped the bag of coins into a pocket on the inside of her own cloak and wiped her hands off, as if she were trying to get dust off of her palms.

            “Like I said before, I know more than you think I do,” she said. “For example, I know that this Kazuto hasn’t always been Kazuto. He was born with a different name, but goes by that name now as it’s more comfortable. I can give you the details on his whereabouts, but I doubt you’ll be able to get to him.”  
            Asuna shifted in place.

            “What makes you say that?” she asked.

            The Rat crossed her arms and sighed.

            “His name recently was added to a list of those hunted by the Integrity Knights,” the informant said. “He was discovered in the Norlangarth Empire in a little place called Rulid Village, according to the report. When a boy he was with admitted to having had sex with him prior to marriage, something clearly forbidden by the Taboo Index, the two were marked as criminals. They fled the village’s church shortly after the confession. The two haven’t been spotted since.”

            “Nor…Norlangarth?” Rika stammered. “How did he get all the way over there?!”

            Keiko nodded in agreement.

            “Why would he be in another empire, he doesn’t even have the proper papers to cross borders?” Keiko asked.

            Shino glanced at Asuna and frowned.

            “Do you know the name of the person he was with?” Asuna asked.

            “You’ll have to pay more for information on the other person,” the Rat said, smiling as if this were a game. “You paid to know about Kazuto. I’ll give you anything you want on Kazuto, unless you pay more for information on the other one.”

            Asuna bit into her lip. She had a pretty good idea of who it might be. Then again, there was a possibility that for some unknown reason, Kazuto had found someone else to have an affair with. She didn’t find that answer very likely, though, even though it was probable. Frustrated, she pulled out another bag of coins and tossed it at the informant, who deftly plucked it out of the air.

            “I need to know if it’s…him.”

            The Rat’s smile broadened.

            “The man your friend Kazuto ran off with is a peasant boy called Eugeo,” she said. “He’s not really anyone important; his occupation is to continue the work of his ancestors in attempting to cut down a tree that is so large it can’t be done in a single lifetime. He has two older brothers and a sister.”

            Asuna took a few steps backwards, trembling. So, it was him. The flaxen-haired boy who had stolen Kazuto’s heart. She’d never had a chance with Kazuto until he’d disappeared, and now Kazuto had gone and run off with him. Not only that, but they were running with Integrity Knights on their tails for the crime they’d committed.

            “Thank you for your services,” Asuna said.

            She brusquely turned around and marched out of the alleyway, with her three friends trailing behind her, asking her why they were leaving so abruptly. When she was confident she was out of the Rat’s hearing range, she turned back to her friends and stared down at the dirt road they were standing on.

            “I’ve decided that I’ve got to go and save Kazuto from his rather dangerous boyfriend,” she said. “Are you with me, or against me?”


	14. Into Hiding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I keep getting caught up in job searches so it's taking me a bit to get these chapters done. That's why they're short, if you compare them to my rather lengthy BNHA fics. I'm sorry this gets less attention. I'll try harder to not lose track next time.

            The man staring at me over his workstation was trying to keep a skeptical look on his face, but he couldn’t hide his amazement. We’d brought him a limb of the Gigas Cedar, which, according to the man who had instructed us to try and take a limb, was a sturdy enough material to make a second sword between the two of us. Without stopping to ask if that was true, I’d silently willed my fingers to try and repeat the disintegration I’d managed earlier and they managed to remove a branch with ease.

            “So, can you make a sword out of this, or what?” I asked. “We kinda need to keep moving, if you can’t.”

            I hated to sound impatient, but if Sister Azariya had followed through on reporting our sin, then we had Integrity Knights on our tails. My fuzzy, cotton-filled brain couldn’t exactly recall who those were or why I should be running from them, but the name sounded bad enough. I didn’t want to be mad at Eugeo for his honesty. Still, it was his fault for blurting out that we’d had sex.

            “I should be able to,” he said, giving me a slightly distrustful look. “It’ll take about three days, though, if it’s a rush. I won’t ask any questions, since you seem like troublesome folks. I don’t want to be caught up in whatever it is you’re doing.”

            I glanced back at Eugeo and frowned.

            “Uh, so, how much are you asking?” I said.

            The man shook his head.

            “Only that when it’s finished, you leave and don’t come back around here,” he said, giving me a severe look. “If you boys are into trouble, you’ll have Integrity Knights after you. I don’t want that sort of problem in my village. I already have enough to deal with.”

            Unsure of how to respond, I thanked him for at least agreeing to fashion a sword for us and then hastily left the shop with Eugeo in tow. We didn’t have much money on us, as Eugeo only had about a day’s wages on him when we’d fled from Rulid. He’d agreed that we could spend most of it on the sword, but only after he’d realized that we seriously needed to protect ourselves. Now, we could feed ourselves or get some kind of lodging.

            “How good are you at making up fake names?” I asked suddenly.

            I turned around to face Eugeo, who was giving me a concerned look.

            “I don’t mean to sound harsh, but we can’t just give our names out to people,” I said. “We’re kind of on the wanted list or whatever now. We need aliases…and perhaps disguises. How about I get a bandanna?”

            Eugeo immediately shook his head.

            “You would look dreadful in a bandanna,” he said. “Besides, you’ve already got the perfect disguise, if you’re willing to use it.”

            I crossed my arms and tilted my head in curiosity. He sighed and waved his hands around at me. I looked down at my body and realized what he was getting at. My stomach felt like it dropped. He was essentially suggesting that I stop trying to pass as a male and pretend to be a girl for a while as a disguise.

            “I mean…that would probably work, but…” I said, trailing off.

            He immediately walked over to me and grabbed my arms.

            “If you’re uncomfortable with that, then don’t,” he said. “If not, then you’re a lot easier to hide than I am. We could pretend we’re husband and wife or something, or brother and sister. It’s just a suggestion, I’m not expecting you to go through with it if it makes you feel…off.”

            At this point, I had to consider my options. It was either try to hide as best as we could with just using different names, or I could go along with this plan despite any discomfort. I’d likely only have to pretend to be a girl in public.

            “So, essentially, all I’d have to do is be a girl out in the open?” I clarified.

            “Well, yeah,” he said. “You’re a guy. Behind closed doors with me, you’re not going to be expected to pretend to be a girl at all. Why would I do that to you?”

            I gave him a small smile. Of course, he wouldn’t do that. Even without much of a memory, I had enough proof that he wouldn’t do that to me. He might have kept his lips tightly sealed for a few days, but he’d still never outed me to anyone.

            “So?” he asked.

            “I’d rather be your wife than your sister,” I said, laughing a little. “Are we finding a hotel then, dear?”

            Eugeo looked like he was going to laugh.

            “We’ll work on your talking like a girl,” he said. “But yes, for now, we should find a hotel.”

 

            When we entered the town, my heart felt like it was pounding. I had no idea when the last time I’d been out in public without binding had been, but it certainly didn’t feel easy. It felt like all eyes were on me, taunting me and telling me that I was exactly what I looked like. I knew that I’d agreed to this, yet it still felt awful. I wrapped one arm around Eugeo’s and pressed as close as I could to his side.

            “Is everything okay?” he asked.

            “Y-yeah,” I lied. “But…um…my clothes…”

            He nodded and squeezed my hand tightly, as if to reassure me.

            “We can easily figure out a way to get you some clothing that fits the disguise,” he said. “As for food…”

            A bad idea instantly popped into my head. My unease melted away and I leaned over to whisper into Eugeo’s ear. He started a little, turned red, and then covered his face with his free hand. He was shaking his head, more so out of embarrassment than out of disagreement.

            “Kazuto…you really expect me to play that card?” he asked.

            I gave him a facetious grin and nodded.

            “Of course! Who could say no to that?” I asked.

            Eugeo was still shaking his head. I pulled us behind a tree for a moment, out of sight of the crowed. I reached into his satchel and pulled out my removed bindings. He immediately started to shake his head.

            “What, you got a better idea?” I asked.

            “No…” he grumbled.

 

            Our first task was to procure a dress. Eugeo was able to do that for a rather cheap price. I begrudgingly pulled the dress on and used my binding cloths to hide my hair, which was definitely too short for the average woman in these parts. I’d have to grow it out in order to keep up the disguise. After that, we checked into a hotel as husband and wife. With that, our meager funds were pretty much out.

            “Okay, I’ve got to find small jobs to do around town,” Eugeo said. “Since you’re in disguise as a woman, your job will be to procure food mostly. We can go with your approach for the first few times, but after I manage to get us some money, I don’t want to be playing dirty tricks like that just to steal food. Do you want us in even more trouble?”

            I shrugged my shoulders and leaned back in the small chair in our hotel room.

            “We’re already criminals, Eugeo,” I said, smirking a little. “Unless you’d feel better about this idea if it were more realistic—we could arrange for that and then you can’t call it a dirty trick. It’d be a desperate need.”

            “No! No! Kazuto!” he exclaimed.

            I figured that eventually, he’d see my side of this. Eventually.


	15. The Lord and the Knight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This one's late, too. Urk. It was a holiday weekend and my dad's birthday was yesterday, so I apologize. I was too tired to get this done last night. I finished it up today instead. I always take longer on chapters with characters I don't like as much (cough, Sugou, cough).

            Lord Sugou set his teacup down on his table and stared across the room to the tall, armor-clad figure that had entered the room. He didn’t need any former experience to know that the individual standing before him was an Integrity Knight. The brilliant, orchid-colored armor glinted in the light coming through the windows. He stood up and bowed, but only out of formality.

            “And how might I be of your service?” he asked.

            The knight entered the room and walked over to the windowsill, staring out of it. They did not approach Sugou, instead choosing to keep a rather awkward distance between the two of him. He went to step forward, but the knight held up one and jerked their helmet in his direction to glare at him.

            “You’ll come no closer,” the knight said.

            Sugou bowed his head and held his position.

            “I’m here because a certain peasant has been reported to the Axiom Church in the Central Cathedral for committing sexual acts outside of marriage with another peasant,” the knight said, turning back to the window.

            The information given bored Sugou. This had nothing to do with him, and yet the knight said it as if it were of high importance. He had other things that needed to be accomplished, such as locating his wayward wife.

            “That must be an interesting search,” Sugou said, forcing himself to be polite once more. “Why are you telling me this, though? I don’t have time to search for peasants.”

            A scoff came from underneath the knight’s helmet.

            “One of the peasants, when we learned of them, sounded familiar according to our church records,” the knight said. “All persons recorded by the church are nobles, so I found this odd that the report described this individual as a peasant. When I looked into it, I discovered that the person was a peasant legally elevated to noble status through marriage. Lord Sugou, the person the Axiom Church’s knights are seeking out is none other than your missing wife.”

            All it took was this one statement for Sugou to stagger backwards and fall into his chair. Several days before, he’d sent out a number of his soldiers to go and locate that pathetic excuse for a wife. Now, he had an Integrity Knight standing before him telling him that she’d gone and slept with another man yet again. He’d been gracious enough not to report her for her alleged affair with the god Vector, but now she was on the run from the Axiom Church for sleeping with another human being.

            “And what will you do with her?” he asked.

            The knight tilted their head in question.

            “When you catch her and her lover,” he asked. “What will you do with them? What will their punishment be?”

            There was silence. The knight continued to stare out of the window, as if they hadn’t heard the question at all. Their previous acknowledgement of the question had turned into a lack of care for what Lord Sugou had to ask. However, he did receive a response in the end.

            “The details are unimportant,” the knight said. “But you won’t be seeing your wife again after she enters the Central Cathedral. Even we don’t know what happens to the prisoners kept there. In the end, they just simply cease to exist. The holy pontifex herself handles this.”

            So, if the Integrity Knights got their hands on Kazuto, then he’d likely not get the chance to bring her back and keep her for himself. It would be much easier to get an heir from Kazuto, because he already legally was married to her. In order to work around the current issue, he’d have to make a plea to divorce Kazuto and then search for a new bride—and he couldn’t search for a new bride while he was still legally bound to Kazuto.

            “Can no one offer a pardon for these criminals?” Sugou asked.

            Appalled, the Integrity Knight whirled around to face him fully. Clearly, a question like this was unthinkable. The knight’s posture straightened up even more than before. One of their hands grabbed the hilt of their sword, ready to unsheathe it at a breath’s notice.

            “Why would you want to pardon such a wife?” the knight asked.

            “Tell me your name,” Sugou said.

            “I am Fanatio Synthesis Two,” the knight said. “Now answer, me; why would you pardon a wife who would sleep with others behind your back? She’s a violator of the Taboo Index, an infidel to the Axiom Church. Why would you even consider pardoning her?”

            Naturally, an agent of the gods sent from the heavens couldn’t understand human emotions like this. He was a jealous individual and a greedy one; the Integrity Knight couldn’t possibly feel those things about anyone. There was likely no way that Sugou could show the knight what he felt and why he was thinking like this. All he could do was explain.

            “Fanatio, I’m a man who likes simplicity,” he said. “It would be much simpler for me to pardon my wife than to jump through the tedious divorce laws for getting rid of that criminal woman once and for all. I’m still in need of an heir, and she’s still young enough to produce one. I could even try to bargain a few years to produce an heir and then turn her into you for whatever punishment the holy pontifex desires.”

            Fanatio scoffed a second time.

            “To think that you’d rather sleep with a criminal to produce an heir than properly go through with a divorce is utter nonsense to me,” they said. “Humans are such lazy creatures, but they’re usually easy to control. Are you deeming yourself capable of controlling your wayward wife for long enough to produce an heir and then turn her over to the Axiom Church?”

            Sugou bowed his head in agreement. Fanatio finally came closer to him, pointing a finger at him from a few mels away. He could see the faint image of two glistening eyes staring back at him through the slits in the knight’s helmet. Though difficult to make out, their expression was clear.

            “I can’t make promises to pardon your wife,” Fanatio said, “but I can do this. If I am the one to find her, I’ll give you your grace period of two years. If you haven’t produced an heir by then, then you will go through with your divorce just like the rest of the humans are expected to do. Am I clear, Lord Sugou?”

            He nodded his head and smiled at the knight.

            “Perfectly,” he said.

            Fanatio’s helmet shook from side to side. What the knight thought of him, though, was no concern of his, so long as they didn’t place him on the list of violators to bring in for punishment at the hands of the land’s highest priestess. Such laws had holes in them, after all. If even an Integrity Knight could bend them, he felt no remorse for making this request.

            Saying nothing more, Fanatio turned on their heels and exited the room, followed closely by one of Sugou’s attendants. He had to maintain the atmosphere of respect and politeness the entire time the Integrity Knight was present; he needed Fanatio to believe that he’d follow exactly what had been specified in their agreement. When the knight was out of earshot, he beckoned for a guard to come closer.

            “Yes, Lord Sugou?” the guard asked.

            “Send word down to my best men and tell them to widen their search to other empires,” he said. “I want Kazuto found before those Integrity Knights can get ahold of her. Ensure that if an Integrity Knight finds her, it’s Fanatio. Otherwise, bring her back to me—alive.”

            The guard paused a moment before inquiring.

            “And, sir, what do we do with her lover?”

            “Him, I most definitely want dead,” Sugou said.


	16. Fugitive Duo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay, I thought this chapter was a little weird so I ran it past someone and she ended up laughing and thinking it was good funnies so. I kept it. I do have some comments I want to add, but I'm putting them at the end for people who don't want spoilers.

_Almost a year later…_

            I caught the hand of the woman at the food stall, who had been engaging in a conversation with her husband, the merchant. Surprised, she turned her head to look at me and raised her eyebrows. She must have thought several things regarding my appearance—I was certainly covered in dirt from head to toe and my clothes didn’t fit right.

            “Have you got…anything you could spare?” I asked, my voice a little shaky and hoarse.

            She looked me up and down and frowned. It was a frown of pity, I could tell that much. With my free hand, I pulled my hair out of my face and tucked it behind my ears. It was getting irritating, having it fall in my face when I was trying to maintain eye contact. When she didn’t say anything or move, I bit my lip and looked down.

            “Please…” I said.

            I pressed my hand against my stomach. The woman’s eyes went wide. She picked up instantly on what I was indicating.

            “You poor thing!” she said. “I’ll get you something, don’t worry.”

            As soon as the woman turned around to gather up some food, I felt a tapping on my shoulder. I turned around and saw Eugeo frowning at me. I straightened up and bit my lip a little; he looked rather displeased.

            “What are you doing?” he asked.

            “Uh…what…what does it look like?” I said, laughing.

            He looked down and his anger turned into shock.

            “Ka—” he started.

            I gave him a pointed glance.

            “Kaya?” he eeked out, randomly selecting a girl-ish sounding name to address me with. “Um, what’s…what exactly…”

            The woman came out from behind the stall and glanced between the two of us. She handed a food-filled cloth to Eugeo, instantly pairing him with me. Internally, I could already feel myself laughing—the expression on his face was priceless.

            “Uh, ma’am, you don’t have to—” he started, but she cut him off, shaking her head.

            “I can’t let your poor wife starve, sir,” she said. “If you need, my husband will hire you so you can feed your family. I’d hate to see a child born into starvation like this.”

            Eugeo gave me an unamused glare. I put on my best acting face and awkwardly bowed.

            “We appreciate your kindness,” I said.

            “Well, we don’t actually—” Eugeo started.

            I made a face, bent over, and clutched my stomach. Eugeo groaned. I grabbed onto his arm and squeezed it tightly.

            “I-I don’t feel so good,” I stammered.

            “For the love of…” Eugeo muttered. “Would you excuse us? My, uh, wife here appears to be having some…issues…”

            The woman, on the other hand, seemed rather panicked. I hadn’t exactly thought this through. She knelt down and tried to look me in the eyes again. I shut them and let out a small cry of distress.

            “Can I do anything to help?” she asked. “I know a midwife.”

            Eugeo, very done with the whole ordeal, started to gently push me away from the vendors.

            “It’s alright, we’re going to his mothers’ place,” he said.

            “His?” the woman repeated.

            “A-ah…I meant her,” Eugeo said. “Sorry, my first wife was a man.”

            I covered my mouth to keep from laughing. Eugeo royally sucked at lying.

            “We’ll talk about your offer! Good-bye!” he exclaimed.

            He stopped caring about gently pushing me and bolted off, shoving me as far away from the crowd as was possible. When he found an empty alleyway, he turned us in there and pinned me against the wall. He took a moment to catch his breath before unleashing his irritation.

            “What in the world do you think you’re doing?” he asked.

            “Procuring food,” I said. “What does it look like?”

            His bright green eyes seemed to dull a bit as he glared at me. I offered him a sheepish grin and laughed a little. He glanced back down at my body and sighed. With one hand, he let go of me and pointed at my stomach.

            “What is that and where did you get it?” he asked.

            I frowned and glanced down.

            “Oh, a melon,” I said nonchalantly.

            “Did you steal that, too?” he asked.

            I shrugged.

            “Kazuto.”

            “Look, it really works,” I said. “People get all emotional when they see a fragile, starving wife. I figured I’d just up my game and make it more believable.”

            Eugeo sighed and finally let go of my other shoulder. He buried his face in his hands and groaned. I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around him. Too stressed to be mad at me, he rested his chin on my shoulder and returned the embrace.

            “Next time, don’t hug me with a melon in your shirt,” he said, laughing a little.

            “Ah, right,” I said.

            I stepped back and reached down the dress to untie the wrapping holding the melon in place. It ended up dropping to the ground and splattering on our feet. Eugeo shook his head and headed back in the direction of the inn we’d been staying at. Frowning, I bent down and picked up some of the in-tact pieces of melon and then dashed after him.

 

            Back at the inn, I shoved a piece of bread into my mouth as I watched Eugeo pace back and forth. This wasn’t the first town we’d stopped in, and by the looks of his worried expression, it wouldn’t be the last. We thought that after months of carefully evading the Integrity Knights, they would give up their search of us, but that didn’t seem to be the case.

            “I overheard some murmurings that an Integrity Knight was spotted in the next village over,” Eugeo said. “We’re going to have to leave soon.”

            “Again?” I groaned.

            I picked up another piece of bread and some fruit and bit into them at the same time. Eugeo gave me a funny look for shoving too much food into my mouth, but he didn’t say anything. He spread a map out on the table beside me and stared down at it with a frown. I watched as he traced a finger along the roads, connecting all of the villages we’d hidden in.

            “Maybe we should try hiding in a big city,” Eugeo said. “It’s much easier to blend into a larger crowd, don’t you think?”

            Humming, I finished the bread and the fruit and picked up another piece of fruit to eat.

            “Wait, are you eating all of our rations in one sitting?” Eugeo asked.

            “No!” I exclaimed. “And I agree, we might be a lot harder to spot if we hide in a larger population. But these are Integrity Knights we’re talking about—they’re a lot sharper than humans are.”

            “And yet they haven’t found us in almost eleven months,” Eugeo said.

            He marched over to me as I took a bite out of the fruit and yanked my hand away from my mouth. His eyes were squinting at me. I blinked up at him, confused as to what the big deal was. I tried to pull my hand back to my mouth for a second bite of fruit, but he wouldn’t allow it.

            “Are you feeling okay?” he asked.

            “I’m fine!” I said.

            Eugeo still looked skeptical. He sat down beside me and let go of my hand. He picked up some food and took a small bite of it. I frowned and went to take another bite of my fruit when he slipped his arm around my waist and pulled me into his side. He leaned his forehead against mine and let out a breath.

            “Don’t hesitate to let me know if you don’t feel good, Kazuto,” he said. “Even if it’s just as simple as, ‘Hiding as a girl is making me feel bad,’ just say so, okay? The past few days you’ve been acting really weird and it’s got me worried.”

            He looked at my face and chuckled.

            “See? You’re blushing like crazy right now,” he said.

            Almost immediately, and without warning, tears formed in my eyes. I wasn’t even sure why I was crying. I dropped the fruit onto the table and wrapped my arms around Eugeo’s neck and commenced sobbing. He was so dumbfounded by my sudden outburst of emotion that it took him a moment to register. He held me close and rubbed my back gently.

            “What’s…what’s wrong?” he asked.

            I couldn’t tell him what was wrong. I didn’t want to be a burden. I ended up just lying and saying that having to dress as a girl really was bothering me, after all, and I’d been too stubborn to say anything before. It distracted him long enough to finish our discussion of where to head next, finish our dinner, and unwind before he fell asleep.

            His sleeping face looked so peaceful beside me. I reached down and brushed his bangs out of his eyes and smiled. It was nice to see him like this, finally freed from stress at the end of a long day. I slipped under the blanket and lay in front of him. I pressed my forehead to his and wrapped myself around him.

            “I would tell you if I didn’t think you’d be even more stressed,” I whispered. “Here we are, running from everything; the last thing we needed right now was a kid…we should have been more careful, Eugeo.”

            For a terrifying moment, I thought he’d heard me. His eyes opened a little. He smiled at me and pulled me closer as he fell back asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, why almost a year later? Why the timeskip? Two reasons, really: I didn't want to have them caught that easily, but I didn't have any filler plot for that time in hiding. And secondly, it gave time for Kazuto's hair to grow out and help him pass as Eugeo's wife a little better. 
> 
> Secondly- I swear there's a point to this soap opera shit. Mostly, it's a point of the inability to hide that they're breaking taboo; even if no one sees them having sex, it doesn't mean they can just hide it. The best way to prove they're doing it is...that. They don't have fancy science to prove anything like that; all they can go on is verbal admittance (Eugeo's confession) and obvious physical proof- kids. Just to clarify before people stop and go "oh my god what"


	17. Past Mistakes Cause Present Problems

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Um, so I'm late and I have good reasons why- I was sick, I was moving, and I was starting a new job. Also I got carried away and this chapter is way long I'm so sorry. I was trying to get to a certain plot point and never made it because I decided to adjust some things. I saw people looking for the chapter and felt so guilty, I promise to try and keep up!

            I sank my teeth into a piece of fruit and focused on the back of Eugeo’s head. He was leaning over a vendor’s stand, asking the gentleman behind it for the best route to the next town over, Zakkaria. The woman standing with him, who must have been his wife, kept her eyes glued to me, giving me an appraising look. I no longer wore the woman’s disguise I’d been running around in and was properly sporting pants and a shirt with bindings underneath, but my hair was still down to my shoulders. She stepped over to me and tugged at my sleeve.

            “Um…yes?” I said.

            “Are you a woman?” she asked.

            I opened my mouth to protest, but she continued on without giving me a moment to correct her.

            “I don’t understand, dear, but please, take something else to eat,” she said, shoving a piece of bread into my hand.

            Eugeo turned back around and immediately looked exasperated. He came over to where we were and glanced between the woman and me, trying to figure out why she was trying to shove bread into my hand.

            “Are you scamming people for food again?” he asked.

            “N-no!” I exclaimed.

            The woman laughed and shook her head.

            “Not at all,” she said. “You need to keep up your strength. For the sake of the little one.”

            Eugeo, by now, was giving me such a heated glare that I thought I’d honestly burst into flames at any given second. As he dragged me away from the stand, I shouted my thanks to the woman and her husband for their services. When we were out of earshot, Eugeo stopped walking and crossed his arms at me.

            “I thought we agreed you would stop conning people like that,” he said.

            “We did agree to that; I didn’t con her,” I said, biting off a piece of the bread. “Hey, this is really good. You should try some.”

            I held the bread out to Eugeo. He pushed it back into my chest.

            “Then why did she seem to think we have a kid somewhere?” Eugeo asked.

            My stomach dropped. I wasn’t sure as to how she knew what she did, but my choices on how to answer him were limited. I could tell him the truth—that she’d accurately perceived what was going on—but then that would mean telling Eugeo about the situation. The other option would be to just shrug and have him be irritated with me for the rest of the day, assuming I was lying to save my own ass.

            “Eugeo, I don’t think she meant we have a kid running around, per se,” I said, awkwardly approaching the topic. “Like, I think she meant we have a kid…in a different sort of way.”

            It took him a second, but when it dawned on him what I was trying to say, he appeared to choke on air and whirled back around to me, grasping my shoulders. I pulled my neck in and scrunched up my shoulders, unsure of what to say. This wasn’t a conversation I was planning on having at all with him.

            “Are you trying to tell me she thought you were…?” he trailed off.

            He glanced down at my stomach and his face turned a bright shade of red. Eugeo shook his head.

            “That’s…that’s ridiculous!” he exclaimed.

            I frowned. He was already in denial.

            “Uh, Eugeo…” I mumbled.

            He let go of my arms and kept walking down the road, mumbling to himself about how ridiculous the claim was. I kept my distance behind him, continuing to pick off pieces of the bread and shove them into my mouth. When I got about halfway through the loaf, I stopped in my tracks and stared down at it.

            “I don’t…feel so good…” I said quietly.

            Eugeo turned around and gave me an inquisitive look. He frowned, noticing how much bread I’d eaten in such a short amount of time. Sighing, he walked over to me and went to take my hand. I shoved the bread into his palm, covered my mouth and staggered over to the closest tree to lean on it.

            “Kazuto?” he said.

            I took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of my nose.

            “I’m fine,” I told myself. “Totally fine.”

            I straightened back up, glanced over my shoulder, and laughed a little bit. Eugeo stared at me as if I’d lost my mind. When I stopped laughing, I grimaced and clutched my stomach. He took a few steps in my direction.

            “Was it really that ridiculous?” I asked.

            My eyes only caught a glimpse of Eugeo’s shocked expression before I turned back around, leaned over, and threw up. Groaning more out of embarrassment than discomfort, I dropped down to my knees and stared down at the ground.

            “Did I really just…?” I grumbled.

            I felt my hair being pulled back behind my head and tied up. Eugeo placed one hand on my back and gently rubbed it. Instantly tensing up, I covered up my eyes and refused to look at him. I wanted to cry, but I knew that wouldn’t change anything. It wasn’t as embarrassing as I was making it out to be.

            “Kazuto…are you…okay?” he managed.

            “This is humiliating…” I muttered.

            Eugeo laughed awkwardly.

            “If you were sick, you should have said something,” he told me. “We could have stopped and taken a break. We don’t have to run too fast. And…what did you mean by ‘Was is really that ridiculous?’ just then?”

            Laughing pitifully to myself, I wiped my mouth off with my hand and then rubbed it in the grass. With my other hand, I reached over and placed my fingers over his. I finally met his gaze. His green eyes were filled to the brim with worry.

            “I’m okay, Eugeo,” I said.

            He straightened up.

            “I just meant that the lady from before wasn’t necessarily wrong,” I mumbled.

            Eugeo opened his mouth to respond, but an arrow flew past his ear and embedded itself just behind my head in the tree to my left. We both turned to face the direction it had come from and saw a group of women who sported a variety of expressions.

            There was a young girl with pigtails who was on the verge of tears, a girl with short brown hair who looked slightly amused at the situation, a girl with short black hair who had murder in her eyes as she glared at me, and a girl with long chestnut-colored hair who couldn’t decide if she were angry or relieved.

            “There you are,” the chestnut-haired girl said.

            I pointed at myself and raised an eyebrow. When she didn’t say anything, I went to stand up. Eugeo put a hand on my shoulder, shook his head, and stepped between us. The girl stopped short and appeared to stiffen up.

            “How did I know you’d be with him, Eugeo?” she said, her voice sounding rather cold.

            “Who…?” I asked.

            “Asuna,” Eugeo said. “That’s your noble friend, Asuna. Remember I mentioned her? She’s the one that ran me off five years ago. I wouldn’t mention what you were just mentioning to me to her…she’ll likely be really pissed.”

            The girl, who I now knew was a friend of mine from back in Eastabarieth, now stood in front of Eugeo, staring around him to get a good look at me. She seemed focused on my hair. Asuna pushed Eugeo out of the way and knelt down beside me. She took a lock of my hair in her fingers and frowned.

            “Why’d you let it get so long?” she asked.

            Guilt welled up in my chest. I didn’t remember her, even though she was my friend. She clearly hadn’t realized I had no memory. Tears started to spill from my eyes. Asuna frowned and cupped my cheek in her hand.

            “Kazuto, what’s wrong?” she asked.

            “I’m sorry,” I managed.

            She tilted her head.

            “I don’t even remember your face…or your voice…or who you are to me,” I said, hopelessly gazing into her eyes. “It’s so painful. I should know who you are. I know I should know who you are.”

            Now, her eyes were glistening from tears as well.

            “You don’t…remember me?” she asked.

            I shook my head.

            “But Eugeo says I know you,” I said quickly. “I didn’t remember him, either. And I still don’t remember how I met him, really…”

            Asuna’s eyes widened, suddenly grasping the situation.

            “Do you remember your daughter?” she asked.

            While I didn’t, I couldn’t help but laugh and smile. Sister Azariya had been right. I looked over at Eugeo and saw he was shaking his head, even more overwhelmed. He’d known about the claims the nun had made, and now that those were confirmed, he likely needed time to process the fact that he was now a father of two.

            “No…” I finally said.

            Eugeo crouched down beside me, casting a wary glance at Asuna, and took one of my hands in his. He seemed unsure of Asuna; his claim was that she’d run him off to try and have me as her own lover. This bit of knowledge made the situation just a bit more awkward. Despite his earlier warning, Eugeo let loose a bit of sensitive information, almost as if issuing a challenge to the girl to try and win me over to her side.

            “So, the kid has a big sister, then?” he said.

            I felt my face flush. Asuna fell backwards into the grass, glancing between us with an incredulous look plastered to her face.

            “You…you didn’t!” she exclaimed. “You had another kid with him?”

            “There, that at least confirms the first kid is mine and not your husband’s,” Eugeo said, sighing. “And what’s it to you? You act like he didn’t choose me first to begin with. I was a coward and left Eastabarieth when you told me to, but after almost a year of being chased by Integrity Knights, that cowardice is gone. If you came here just to collect him and try to win over his heart, I can’t let you do that.”

            Flustered from the sort of conversation occurring, I awkwardly stood up and tried to get between the two of them before things turned out any worse.

            “Now, now, what could I have possibly done to cause this?” I asked.

            Asuna whirled in my direction, her hair flying up as she did so.

            “You had sex with me!” she exclaimed.

            Behind her, the black-haired girl dropped her bow and arrow in shock. The girl with the short brown hair covered the ears of the younger girl with the pigtails. Eugeo gave me a glare that said he wanted to strangle me for this, but he also knew full and well that I had no memory of doing such a thing and didn’t remember my own reasons for doing so.

            “I…what?” I said.

            “You heard me,” Asuna said, pressing a finger into my chest. “You were so distraught after Yui was born because your precious Eugeo left. But I thought you’d given up on him and fallen for me. We were passionate together. I don’t understand why you ran away to come find him and then suddenly can’t remember anything! That’s a lie, isn’t it? You _do_ remember, don’t you? You remember Yui, don’t you? She’s crying and missing her father. But you want to play amnesiac, so you can run off and sleep with Eugeo!”

            “I really don’t remember anything, Asuna!” I exclaimed. “I don’t remember who Yui is or who I’m supposedly married to or why I slept with you or even why I had some affair with Eugeo to begin with! And running around for a year for a crime I don’t remember committing really is confusing!”

            Silence fell over the group. My point had been made. Whether she wanted to believe me or not, I didn’t remember anything. Trying to bring up things I should have known wasn’t effective. Apparently trying to cope with the issue by changing the subject, Asuna made a face and glanced around.

            “If there’s a second kid, where did you put it?” she asked. “It can’t be that old…”

            Eugeo covered his face with his hands and let out an involuntary groan.

            “L-look,” I stammered.

            “I only learned about this maybe a minute before you showed up, so on that note,” Eugeo said, reaching over and grasping my sleeve. “How long have you been _not_ telling me about that, hmm? Did it ever occur to you that it would be important to know as we’re currently hopping from town to town in hiding?”

            Even though the girls who had shown up weren’t even technically involved in this personal issue, they were all suddenly staring at me, waiting for my answer. I swallowed nervously and spoke only loud enough so that Eugeo and Asuna could hear me.

            “I didn’t want you to worry about it,” I said. “You said we needed to get to Zakkaria before the Integrity Knights found us. I didn’t want to slow us down…”

            He didn’t have a rebuttal for that. I knew that he’d place my personal health and safety over speed if he were to know. Sighing, Eugeo pulled me into a hug and shook his head, laughing a little bit. His laughter sounded more like crying, though.

            “I am worried, Kazuto,” he admitted. “This is proof.”

            My heart sank. He was absolutely right. If we were put on trial for sex outside of wedlock, we could easily both deny it to save ourselves and then we could go about legally obtaining a marriage license through the Axiom Church. However, they now had solid proof of what we’d done.

            “If they caught us right now, they wouldn’t know!” I said.

            Eugeo sighed and shushed me.

            “We need to keep quiet and get to Zakkaria,” he said.

            He turned around to Asuna.

            “Are you going to get in our way?” he asked. “Or are you going to help us?”

            Asuna, red-faced and filled with rage, crossed her arms over her chest and stubbornly agreed to come with us. She and her friends had been staying at Wolde Farm, just on the outskirts of Zakkaria, and said the family would likely let us stay, especially if they were told my condition. So, a truce made for now, we carried on in silence to our next stopping place in our flight.


	18. Divided Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Gonna have to update my tags again because a friend convinced me to start some fucking drama. As a BIG note, I'll go ahead and say that my initial idea still stands and Yujikiri is endgame for this fic. But I'm having too much fun writing this love triangle shit now that I can place the three of them near each other and this is going to be so dangerous. Just prep yourselves for disaster bi Kirito I guess.

            We were welcomed at the Wolde farm with open arms. Wolde’s wife, Triza, and their twin daughters, Telure and Teline, told us that we could share the barn space with the four ladies who kept giving me displeased sidelong glances. After dumping our things in there to be situated later, the twins dragged us excitedly into the house to share their dinner with us.

            A part of me felt really guilty. It was clear that they weren’t exactly well off, even if they were middle class, yet they made enough food to feed our sudden party of six. Triza kept asking about our travels and where we were going and what were our reasons for going. Asuna seemed to have the best cover story and she and her friends filled up most of the chatter. As Asuna rambled on about her stops in Norlangarth towns, Eugeo took a roll from off of his plate and handed it to me.

            “What’s that for?” I asked.

            He gave me a pointed look.

            “Just eat it,” he said, rolling his eyes.

            I took the roll from him slowly, staring at his face while he looked in the other direction. It dawned on me what he was doing. His cheeks burned a bright red, likely because he knew I was staring at him. He didn’t know how to handle the situation at all; he’d only found out a few hours ago and was still processing. I couldn’t help but laugh. He turned to face me.

            “What’s so funny?” he asked.

            I reached over and squeezed his hand, smiling at him.

            “I appreciate your concern,” I said.

            Asuna stopped talking and turned to cast an icy glare at the two of us. I awkwardly leaned back in my chair and took a slow, deliberate bite of the roll, refusing to make eye contact with her. Triza, sensing that something was off, shifted her focus to us.

            “Is something the matter, Kazuto?” she asked.

            I nearly choked. Why was she asking me?

            “Oh, no, no!” I said, waving my hands dismissively.

            She smiled, watching me openly deny that there was an issue. She wasn’t ignorant; it was probably clear from the beginning that the group felt overly tense. Instead of prying further, Triza had Telure and Teline show us where we could take a bath. Out of sight of their mother, I finally turned to Eugeo in a hushed voice.

            “We should let the girls bathe first,” I said. “They’re already moody as it is.”

            “I can hear you, Kazuto!” Asuna shouted back.

            The twins turned back around to see Asuna had whirled around and was staring at me, hands on her hips.

            “Since you want to be a jerk about this, you’re going to be bathing with us,” she said, as if that were totally appropriate to say in front of two children who didn’t know I wasn’t biologically male. “If an Integrity Knight shows up and you’re naked in the bath with him, you’ll have no defense, now will you?”

            Eugeo and I locked eyes and sheepishly shook our heads, knowing that she was right. I would hope that a church knight wouldn’t come barging in on people who were naked, but it was all the more reason to be careful. I snapped my head up.

            “We could bring our swords in the bath,” I suggested.

            “Kazuto!” Eugeo exclaimed.

            “You have _what_ , Kazuto?” Asuna asked.

            I hurriedly pointed out that Telure and Teline hadn’t moved from their places and could hear everything we were saying. The conversation was cut off abruptly, but it was silently decided that since the Integrity Knights were searching for me and Eugeo together, it would be best to split us up during potentially compromising situations. We agreed, grumbling the whole while. Eugeo took a quick bath by himself and then the rest of us had our chance.

            “Ahhhh,” the girl with the short brown hair said, sinking into the water. “All this running around has made me so sore.”

            “You’re a blacksmith, Rika, you should be used to standing!” the archer girl said, slipping down beside her.

            Rika laughed and gave the archer girl a quick peck on the cheek. I turned around, picked up a bar of soap and contemplated getting out to scrub myself clean quickly while they were all occupied with each other. I wasn’t so lucky. A cold finger traced a line down my back. I yelped and whirled around, covering my chest with one arm. Asuna was staring at me, semi-apologetically, with her finger still raised.

            “I’m…sorry,” she mumbled. “I just…seeing your scar after so long brings back a lot of tough memories.”

            “Scar?” I repeated.

            She nodded.

            “The scar that runs from between your shoulders to your lower back,” she said. “You got that because Lord Sugou wanted to kill you and Yui. He didn’t manage to cut you deep enough to mortally wound you, but it wasn’t easy getting you out of there.”

            “Where…was Yui, then?” I asked.

            Asuna laughed and turned her face aside.

            “You really can’t remember anything, can you?” she said.

            I shook my head no.

            “Forgive me,” I said.  

            Despite her earlier frustration with me, she seemed much calmer now. She glanced down at my stomach and then met my gaze. Her eyes glistened with sympathy. The memory clearly was a difficult one for us both, even if I couldn’t recall it at the moment.

            “That was about a day before Yui was born,” she said. “We traveled for about half a day before I noticed you were having trouble. It took us another half a day to find shelter in Keiko’s family’s barn. You wanted to keep going back to your parents’ home, but I made you stay put because there was no way you’d have made it.”

            Asuna stared down at the water for a moment, and then she threw herself around me, wrapping her arms around my torso and giving me an unexpected kiss on the lips. I was so in shock that I didn’t even think to push her back off of me, and when I finally was able to do that, I felt guilty for something I didn’t even remember doing. In her mind, I’d never broken off our relationship. When she pulled back, there were tears in her eyes.

            “I’m sorry,” she said. “I can’t do that. It’s not fair to you.”

            I touched my fingers to my lips.

            “I won’t do it again, alright?” she said softly. “You’ve got a family. And as your friend, whether it hurts or not, I’m going to help you get your family back together.”

            I buried my face in my hands to hide the fact that I was tearing up. This whole ordeal confused me so much that it hurt. I wanted to apologize for wronging her, but there was nothing to be done. She took my hands and gently pulled them away from my face. I refused to look at her, but she grasped my chin and tilted my face up to look into her eyes.

            My face burned with embarrassment and my heart fluttered nervously. Clearly, my body remembered what my mind couldn’t. Knowing full and well I shouldn’t cave in, I pulled her close to me again and slipped my lips into hers. Confliction raged in my chest. At the end of the day, who did I want before I lost my memory? Eugeo…or Asuna?


	19. Worry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So I am swamped with things and have a panel for con and applications and work and so much to do that my schedule has gone kaputt. I will just upload things when I get them done, I apologize! Umm as a fair warning one might consider some of this chapter a little NSFW but rest assured I don't get too descriptive.

            “Hey, Eugeo?”

            “Hmm?”

            “It’s too cold to be that far away from me.”

            Eugeo made a few irritated noises and sleepily motioned for me to come closer if I really wanted to snuggle with him. I moved over behind him and slipped one arm under his and pressed my hand up against his chest. He shifted a little when I pressed my face into the back of his neck and stuck my leg in between his.

            “Kazuto…” he mumbled. “We’re not alone.”

            I only pulled him closer, relishing the fact that his body heat was rather high. Humming, I switched my hand from being on the outside of his shirt to the inside. His skin was slightly damp. I frowned.

            “Are you feeling okay?” I asked. “You’re sweaty.”

            Sitting up a little, I placed my other hand on his forehead. He wasn’t feverish. I let out a sigh. He rolled over and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into his chest. It meant that he didn’t want me fussing over him like his mother, I supposed. I snuggled up to him and smiled, lifting my head to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. He opened his eyes a little bit.

            “You reckless idiot,” he said. “When were you going to tell me?”

            I gave him a curious glance and then pressed back up against him to avoid eye contact. Sighing, he ran his fingers once through my hair and then held the back of my head. He was trembling.

            “Eugeo…what’s wrong?” I asked.

            His voice cracked as his spoke.

            “If an Integrity Knight sees you like this without a marriage license, they’ll hurt you,” he said.

            I bit my lip.

            “They can’t see anything right now,” I said, trying to sound reassuring.

            Frustrated, Eugeo let go of me, stood up, and then headed outside of the barn. He likely didn’t want to cause a lot of ruckus inside, where everyone was sleeping. I glanced around the room, noticed that Shino had her eyes locked on me, shivered a little, and then stood up as well and followed him outside.

            He was kneeling down beside a washbasin. He’d splashed water on his face and was currently keeping it covered with his hands. His hair dripped water back into the basin. I knelt down beside him and put a hand on his back. Eugeo jumped a little, apparently having not heard me approach from behind. He looked over his shoulder at me; he was crying.

            “Eugeo…”

            Turning around, he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close to him. His gentle crying turned into a stressed sob. I froze up, unsure of what to say or do in this situation. He clutched my shirt with one hand and held my head against his with the other. I touched his arm gently with my fingers.

            “I didn’t want to stress you out like this,” I said. “Now look at you; you’re all worried and upset.”

            His hand let go of my shirt and slid down my back. He moved it to my side and then stopped. I turned my head and gave him a kiss on his temple. Slowly, he continued moving his hand, but only so that his fingertips were touching my belly. His hand trembled. I rubbed his back and laughed a little.

            “Everything’s going to be okay, Eugeo,” I said.

            He removed his fingers.

            “Are you certain that…?” he mumbled.

            I laughed again and took his free hand in mine and squeezed it a little. He sat up and stared at me, looking rather overwhelmed. Trying to compose himself, he pulled back his other hand and used his sleeve to wipe the tears off of his face.

            “Yes, I’m positive,” I said.

            His worried expression grew slightly more severe.

            “How?” he asked.

            Tilting my head, I tried to think of a proper response.

            “It probably sounds a little crazy, but it’s just one of those things I can tell,” I said, laughing. “Plus, there’s a few things that haven’t been or have been happening. After a while, I just kind of put two and two together.”

            Eugeo’s eyes widened slowly. He reached down and awkwardly held his hand out to touch my stomach. I tensed up a little. Our eyes met; he seemed unsure. Shrugging, I gave him a sheepish nod to let him know it was okay. Eugeo dipped his head and pressed his hand against my belly. His hand ran up and down a few times, as if he were trying to convince himself that this was in his head. It stopped, and he dropped his forehead onto my shoulder.

            “How long have you known?” he asked quietly.

            Humming in thought, I subconsciously pressed my palm against the back of his hand, holding it against myself. I stroked it with my thumb. Eugeo’s cheeks turned a bright shade of red and his eyes started to search for something other than me to focus on.

            “Couple of months, I guess,” I said quietly.

            He tensed up for a brief moment and then relaxed.

            “Now that I know, I can tell,” he said, staring down at our hands.

            It was my turn to blush from embarrassment.

            “Y-you can?” I asked.

            He nodded and then buried his face back into my shoulder. His breathing had slowed down significantly. I wondered if he was falling asleep on my shoulder, but then he picked up his head and leaned forward, kissing me full on the lips. At first, I was surprised. My lids slipped closed in the end. I let go of his hand and grasped the sides of his head. He gently pulled away.

            “It’s late,” he said under his breath.

            I pulled him back for another kiss. When our lips parted, I felt him laugh softly. My hands ran down the back of his head and reached down his back, forcing him a little closer. Eugeo kept his hand pressed against my stomach, keeping me from totally pressing up against him. I took advantage of his open mouth and locked my lips into his a third time. He gently pushed me back.

            “Kazuto, we’re outside,” he said.

            Pressing back against him, I whispered into his ear.

            “Because everyone else is inside,” I said.

            Eugeo had no argument for that. I pushed him down onto his back in the grass and straddled him. He looked around awkwardly before gazing up at me. Sighing, he reached up and playfully knocked me over onto my back beside him and then placed himself over top of me, giving me a glance that was a bit stern, but otherwise on board.

            “You know what will happen if an Integrity Knight catches us out here, right?” Eugeo asked, making sure I fully understood what I was doing.

            I nodded.

            “Yeah, but who’s expecting us to be outdoors?” I said, shrugging.

            Sighing, Eugeo lifted one hand when I reached for his belt to undo it. He glanced one last time over his shoulders before doing the same to me. Obviously, we didn’t strip completely naked, being outside. People could still walk by, I supposed. We could only be so discrete, however. While we were completely absorbed with one another, Asuna exited the barn to come look for us.

            At that point, we’d moved up against a tree and didn’t have a direct visual of the barn unless we happened to turn our heads. From Asuna’s perspective, it probably looked like we were just standing up against each other and making out. So, without either of us noticing, she managed to get uncomfortably close enough to see my face.

            “Look, you two had me scared to death, leaving out of the barn like that!” she said.

            My eyes snapped open to see her at most a foot or so behind Eugeo. I gasped and bit down on my lip. Eugeo awkwardly turned his head and his face flushed red. Asuna crossed her arms and shook her head.

            “You were just out here kissing? Really?” she sighed. “Come back into the barn, a knight might fly overhead and see you.”

            She turned to walk back inside, but then froze when she noticed neither one of us was moving. Eugeo turned his head back around and buried it in my shoulder. His awkward shift in movement caused me to make an awkward face. Asuna frowned at us and tilted her head.

            “Well?” she said. “Come on.”

            At that moment, Shino exited the barn and marched over to us as well, her arms crossed. She glared at me with icy eyes, scanned us briefly, and then her expression changed into mortified shock. She turned around to Asuna and jerked her away from us. Asuna whispered something to Shino, clearly irritated, and then when Shino calmly responded, Asuna let out a shriek.

            “Are you two…?!” she exclaimed.

            I drew in a deep breath.

            “Having an important conversation?” I suggested. “Yes, yes, we are.”

            I could feel Eugeo wilting from embarrassment. Shino, however, was not convinced by my words and marched over to us, getting even closer than Asuna had. She wrinkled her nose in disgust and grasped us both by the ear.

            “Listen here,” she said. “You two are going straight to bed. You already made two babies, don’t just do this because you can when there are literal knights searching to kill you for doing specifically this.”

            She let go of our ears and stomped off back into the barn.

            “I-I think I’m going back inside!” Asuna exclaimed, dashing back after Shino.

            As soon as they were out of sight, we both slumped to the ground, needing a moment to recharge from the shock. We both agreed we should be more careful next time. We hurried back into the barn to get some sleep, refusing to make eye contact with the girls by hiding under the sheets. I could still feel Shino’s eyes on us as I tried to fall asleep.

            After all, I needed the shuteye. In the morning, something important was supposed to be happening here in Zakkaria. I hadn’t explained anything to Eugeo or the girls, but I was going to be sneaking off rather early to avoid being told I couldn’t participate. When I was certain Eugeo fell asleep, I reached over to my belongings and untied the cloth around the sword I’d had made about a year ago.

            I stroked the obsidian hilt with my fingertips and frowned.

            “It’s time to prove I can take care of myself so we can stop running,” I said, glancing down at Eugeo’s sleeping form.

            I leaned over and planted a kiss on his forehead.

            “I’m sorry, but I’ve got to prove this to you.”

            Slipping back beneath the covers, I shut my eyes and prepared myself to wake up early and escape. I needed my rest in order to function well, and I needed it soon in order to wake up before everyone else. I relaxed myself and shut my eyes. Suddenly I felt a hand tugging on the back of my shirt.

            “Hey, Kazuto,” Eugeo mumbled, half-awake.

            “Yeah?” I answered.

            He laughed a little, clearly still mostly asleep.

            “We’re dads,” he muttered, snuggling up to me.

            A moment later, he let out a snore, as if nothing had happened at all. I chuckled to myself about his comment and turned over to hold him closer to me as I started to doze off. The heat of his body made the barn a lot less unpleasant. I smiled.

            “Yeah, we are.”


	20. Interrupted Lives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I shall start with- my bestie has been pulling for some angst for this for some reason and I found a compromise. Depends on how you feel about the Yuji-kiri-suna thing I guess~ If you are here because it's still technically a Yujikiri fic and they are endgame this won't hurt as much than if you're like me who just confusedly ships Yujikiri and Kirisuna. Idk I'm rambling I don't feel good.

_A few days before Kazuto’s displacement…_

            Sunlight was just starting to peek through a crack in the shutters. Asuna squinted and buried her face into the back of Kazuto’s neck with a groan. He shifted a little and went to turn his head to look at her, but she reached up and pressed a hand into his cheek, keeping him facing the other way. He sighed deeply and didn’t move.

            “So, you’re awake,” he mumbled.

            Asuna hummed and then shook her head. She didn’t want to get up. Being used to the life of a noble, she wasn’t as accustomed to waking up with the sun as Kazuto was. And even though he’d been forcibly married to Lord Sugou at the age of thirteen—seven years before—he still felt the need to wake up as soon as the light touched his face. To keep him down, Asuna wrapped one arm over him and around his belly.

            “Do we have to get up?” she asked.

            He laughed so softly that she wouldn’t have noticed if she hadn’t been touching his stomach. It was so quiet she couldn’t hear it. Kazuto rolled towards her onto his back and groaned a little, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the morning light. She smiled and gave him a light kiss on the cheek. Sitting up a little, she pulled her hand back just enough so that her palm rested on the apex of his stomach.

            Back when she’d visited him at Lord Sugou’s estate, she’d never seen him like this. At night, when he removed his usual bindings and didn’t care what he looked like to other people, he seemed less on edge. Here, he seemed rather peaceful, just happy to enjoy being alive with someone he cared about. She wasn’t quite sure if he still thought about his long-disappeared lover, Eugeo, but she knew she shouldn’t focus on that.

            “What are you thinking about, making that face?” Kazuto asked, yawning at the end.

            She frowned and glanced down at his belly. Although her thoughts were far from concerned about _that_ , he placed his hand on top of hers and gave her a reassuring smile. Asuna couldn’t help but smile back at him.

            “What a strange pair we are,” she said, sighing.

            He laughed.

            “What was that for?” she asked.

            Kazuto sat up a little, awkwardly propping himself up against the wall. He kept his hand pressed against hers. Now that he was sitting up, his stomach jutted out more. She ran her palm up and down it, staring a bit like a rude child. He tilted his head and frowned at her.

            “I was just thinking…” he said, finally answering her question, “…in a sense, we’re both a mom and a dad.”

            Asuna gave him a slightly unamused look.

            “Well, think about it,” he said. “You’re the girl, so you’re obviously the mom. I’m the boy, so I’m clearly the dad. But as far as the physical part of this goes…our roles are a little backwards, don’t you think?”

            After escaping Lord Sugou’s estate, and after helping the severely injured Kazuto deliver his firstborn, Asuna had decided to finally tell him a couple of truths she’d been hiding from him from the very start. She confessed her feelings to him, which he didn’t immediately respond to, and she told him that they weren’t all that different. Like him, she’d been born a different sex from the one she appeared to be on the outside. He was both shocked and relieved to finally know someone else like him.

            Now, the fact that they were both people who identified as a different sex than they were born into had provided them with an interesting dynamic as a couple. They agreed to something perhaps unusual, mostly because Kazuto felt that Asuna didn’t properly feel like she could consider herself Yui’s mother.

            She leaned over, laughing at Kazuto’s assessment of the situation, and pulled his shirt up to just under his ribs. He lifted an eyebrow curiously at her. Asuna gently pressed her lips against the curve of his belly. Kazuto’s face flushed red.

            “I think it’s rather kind of you to do all of the hard work for me, Kazuto,” she said.

            He sighed. Asuna sat back up and gave him another kiss on the cheek. She pressed her hand against his stomach again, not wanting to lose physical contact with her baby. As grateful as she was that Kazuto was willing to carry a baby for her sake, she still felt incredibly jealous of him. She wanted to be the one to grow their child, but it didn’t work that way. Similarly, he must have felt strange himself; however, he’d seemed fine the first time.

            “Tell me what it feels like,” she said, curling up into his side.

            Kazuto laughed.

            “That again?” he asked.

            Asuna pulled his shirt back down to cover up his belly and rubbed it. He said that like she hadn’t been asking him for four months. She wanted to know about all of the changes he felt if she didn’t get to feel them herself. Smiling, she nodded.

            “Anything feel different?” she asked.

            He laughed again and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. The next thing she knew, his lips were pressed against the crown of her head. She could tell he was happy; it warmed her up despite the cool morning temperature.

            “I can feel movement a lot earlier this time,” he said.

            Asuna practically leapt up off of him, overexcited about this development.

            “She’s moving?” she asked.

            Kazuto gave her a questioning look.

            “Sh-she?” he stammered.

            Now it was her turn to blush.

            “Oh, I just…” she mumbled.

            They were interrupted when Yui dashed into the room, being chased by Kazuto’s sister, Suguha. The pair glanced over at the mischievous toddler and laughed. She hopped by the side of the bed, thrusting her arms up in the air. Asuna picked her up and put her on the bed to sit, but she made a beeline for Kazuto and wrapped her arms around him.

            “Morning, you,” he said, laughing.

            Asuna awkwardly looked over at Suguha.

            “Would you let him know that mom needs him to go to the market for her?” Suguha said. “She’s feeling ill and I’ve got a prior engagement. Or you can go if he’s not up to it. I just can’t watch Yui. And make sure he eats something. I noticed he skipped a meal or two this week on account of not having the money to feed all six of us, but he needs it more than we do.”

             “Of course,” Asuna said.

           

            After practically forcing food down Kazuto’s throat, since he claimed he felt a little sick and pretended like he wasn’t trying to spare food for his parents, Asuna set out with him and Yui to the marketplace with a set allowance for food given to them and plenty of energy. Yui insisted on being carried, which Asuna offered to do, but Kazuto put her up on his shoulders and insisted he was fine.

            “I’m just saying, bread and vegetables are much lighter than a whole toddler,” Asuna said.

            Kazuto rolled his eyes and pointed to some fruit on a nearby stand.

            “Yui, can you tell me what those are?” he asked.

            The little girl scrunched up her nose and then shouted her answer.

            “Mandarins!” she said.

            A few older ladies on the opposite side of the street laughed to themselves as they watched Kazuto ask Yui what different foods were. She got most of them right, only mixing up a few. As cute as Asuna found it, she eventually realized that he wasn’t helping her shop at all. She frowned over at him as she handed a vendor some money in exchange for bread. The woman beside him shook her head and gazed at Kazuto as well.

            “Your friend there,” the woman said. “I can sense an unpleasant fate is coming for her. That smile will vanish and be replaced by a sense of loss she can’t even begin to understand.”

            Asuna turned to look at Kazuto.

            “What do you mean loss?” she asked.

            The woman drew in a deep breath and shook her head.

            “In some way or another, the darkness god has touched her,” she said. “Ill-fated are those touched by Vector. Stacia does not prevent him from playing his tricks on mortals. Whatever fate he has chosen for your friend, I hope that it is not death. Have you ever heard of Vector’s lost children?”

            She’d heard the phrase before, as a young child. People said that the darkness god, Vector, would confuse mortals by taking away their memories and placing them somewhere in a forest, with no clue as to how they got there or why they were there. Those people were referred to as Vector’s lost children. Asuna herself had never seen it happen and neither did she believe in fairy tales about the gods like she did as a child. Then again, she knew that in a literal sense, Kazuto was Vector’s son. It made her uneasy. If that were possible, then couldn’t this children’s tale be true, too?

            “Do you think Vector plans to spirit him away?” she asked.

            The woman simply shrugged.

            “All I know is that in the near future, something extremely sad will happen to your friend,” she said. “Keep watching and try not to leave her alone. Especially for the sake of her unborn child. If she is displaced and confused, who knows what the fate of that child will be.”

            Asuna felt her stomach drop. This woman obviously didn’t know that the baby was hers as well. She quickly thanked the vendor for the bread and hurried after Kazuto. He was clearly oblivious to the horrifying prediction Asuna had received; he was some distance ahead, stopped in front of the blacksmith’s daughter, Rika, talking up a storm. Asuna quickened her pace to join the group.

            “I mean, look at you!” Rika said, laughing.

            She cupped Kazuto’s belly in her hands and shook her head.

            “You, of all people, having a second kid?” Rika said. “Crazy. Yui, are you excited to be a big sister?”

            “Yeah!” Yui exclaimed, likely not following the conversation at all.

            Kazuto turned and smiled at Asuna.

            “Oh, hey, sorry to have wandered off,” he said, laughing a little. “What else do we need to pick up? Some tomatoes, perh—”

            Asuna cut him off by wrapping her arms around him and squeezing him tightly. She buried her face in his chest and tried to swallow her will to cry. If possible, she wanted to avoid whatever horrible fate the woman said would befall Kazuto. She’d only just started this little family with him. Her heart couldn’t take any more terrible things happening to him.

            “Is everything okay, Asuna?” he asked. “You’re squeezing a little hard.”

            She tried to hide that tears were leaking out of her eyes, but when she drew in a breath, she ended up sniffling. Kazuto finally returned her embrace and gently rubbed her back. Asuna clutched his shirt with her hands, dropping the basket she was holding.

            “Promise me something,” she said.

            He hummed.

            “Promise you what?”

            Lifting her head up, she locked eyes with him.

            “Promise me you’ll stay here with me,” she said. “Promise that you’ll stay with me and be safe and keep our baby safe. Promise me that—”

            Her words were swallowed by a kiss. He grasped the sides of her head and wiped the tears off her cheeks with his thumbs. Asuna felt her heart fluttering in her chest. It was a mixture of fear and love. She loved Kazuto more than she could describe. Now, she feared for the words of a woman she barely knew. Perhaps that woman’s words would never come true. She had to hope on that.

            “Hey,” Kazuto said. “I promise, okay?”

            He took Asuna’s hand and pressed it against his belly.

            “Our family’s going to be fine.”

 

            Three days later, Kazuto left to retrieve something from Rika and never made it to the destination. Asuna searched the entire village from sunup to sundown the following day. She had no way of knowing that Kazuto woke up unaware of himself and who he was in a forest outside of a small village in a completely different section of the Human Empire.

            And he had no clue as to why he woke up soaked in blood.

 

            A year later, as Asuna tried to put herself to sleep and ignore the fact that she’d witnessed the man she loved engaged in intimate acts with his partner, she still held tight to a thought that had troubled her since she’d relocated him. A year had passed, and yet he and Eugeo were alone, not with a child. About five months ago, he should have brought her son or daughter into the world. Yet neither he nor Eugeo seemed aware of a baby beyond the one they themselves had apparently created.

            Asuna buried her face in her pillow and tried to stifle a sob. She couldn’t bring herself to ask if he’d given the child away because she feared something far worse had happened. If he’d given up the child out of confusion, at least she could search for it. But if the baby didn’t make it—

            She curled up tightly into a ball and let the tears roll down her cheeks.

            “Please, Kazuto…remember and tell me our baby’s okay…”


	21. Acting on Impulse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Like I said on tumblr, I've been hyperfixating on this fic and massively plotting things out. This was supposed to be a one-shot and now it's 21 chapters long and nowhere near done what happened. x_x If you're curious, I'm on tumblr as @thegayfromrulid and mostly just post SAO things and sometimes a personal post. Anyways here's some more. I'm sorry I'm angst boy.

            Mornings didn’t have to be unpleasant—but when someone planted their foot in your back to forcibly wake you up, it was difficult to view them as anything but. Eugeo rolled over and gave the person an icy glare. Asuna stared down at him, uncaring that her eyes were red and puffy as if she’d been crying instead of sleeping. Her arms crossed over her chest and her foot tapped the ground.

            “What?” Eugeo asked. “If breakfast is ready, wake people in a nicer way, please.”

            She shook her head, her chestnut hair whipping around her violently like a whirlwind.

            “I could care less about breakfast,” she said. “I want to know where Kazuto went. Would you have any idea?”

            Eugeo groaned.

            “He’s right—” his words cut short.

            He’d placed his hand down on his right and hit the ground. Turning his head, he finally noticed that Kazuto was no longer curled up beside him, snoring away. Eugeo sat up so quickly that his head felt light. He grasped his head and winced.

            “See?” Asuna said. “He’s gone!”

            Frowning up at her, Eugeo blinked as he adjusted to sitting upright.

            “Where did he go?” he asked.

            The barn door was thrown open, revealing a rather ticked off Shino who had Rika and Keiko in tow. She shook her head at Asuna and then cast Eugeo a peeved look. Keiko looked as if she were about to cry.

            “I found that son of a bitch,” Shino said, crossing her arms.

            “Oh?” Asuna said.

            Unable to hold it back any longer, Keiko let out a wail. Rika wrapped her arms around the smaller girl to console her. Shino didn’t stop glaring at Eugeo as she spoke, now letting her sense of urgency seep into her tone.

            “There’s an Integrity Knight in the center of Zakkaria, near where the sword arts tournament is being held,” Shino said, making a point to narrow her eyes at Eugeo. “He’s locked in combat with someone who clearly shouldn’t be fighting him. But, alas, as I’ve been telling you for four years, Kazuto isn’t the brightest person.”

            Eugeo sprung to his feet, dropping the blanket that was covering him.

            “Kazuto is in the middle of the city fighting an Integrity Knight?” he exclaimed.

            Asuna quickly grasped Eugeo by the shoulder and shook her head.

            “Look, I want to protect Kazuto just as much as you do, but you’ll only get arrested as well if you run in there and jump to his defense,” Asuna said. “Knowing Kazuto, he probably ran off and threw his name into the tournament just to attract the Integrity Knight and get arrested alone so that he could clear your name. Don’t insult his decision by getting thrown in jail with him.”

            Her words stabbed his chest like shards of ice fashioned into blades. It was a selfish thought to simply allow Kazuto to pay the punishment for their choices alone. Eugeo looked around at the group, meeting each of their eyes. Keiko’s eyes seemed to plead with him. Rika’s quickly locked on the floor. Shino’s seemed ambiguous. Asuna’s were firm.

            “If he dies because I made a mistake, I’d never forgive myself,” he finally said. “I’m going to get him.”

            Not bothering to don any actual daytime clothes, Eugeo snatched up his sword and dashed out of the barn, making a beeline for the center of the city. People leapt out of his way, alarmed at him for rushing out in his sleep clothes. He didn’t care to stop and apologize, even though he wanted to. Although he trusted that Kazuto knew how to hold his own in a swordfight, he trusted it only as far as dueling with someone like himself. They’d never fought anyone for real. An Integrity Knight far outclassed him.

            He turned a corner just before hitting the main square and caught a sight of a dragon seated just outside of the area where the Zakkaria Sword Arts Tournament was held. The sight of the beast caused him to trip over his own bare feet and land face-first in the road. Eugeo picked himself up and immediately scanned the area. His heart leapt into his mouth.

            By the dragon’s feet stood an Integrity Knight in lavender armor. And on the ground in front of him was Kazuto, grasping his shoulder and gritting his teeth. The knight bent down and lifted Kazuto up by his hair. Kazuto quickly snatched up a sword—one that Eugeo distinctly remembered him procuring a year prior—and flung his arm upwards. He cut off the bunch of hair that the knight was holding and fell back down on the ground.

            The knight moved as if to kick him in the stomach, but Kazuto dropped his sword and started shouting something that Eugeo couldn’t understand. For a moment, the knight stood there frozen, but then he changed the angle of his kick and instead slammed his foot into Kazuto’s right temple. He went completely limp.

            “KAZUTO!” Eugeo screamed.

            He forced himself back to his feet and pushed off as if to sprint in his lover’s direction, but he was very suddenly knocked over by a force running full speed into his left side and ended up being slammed into some crates nearby. Eugeo shakily lifted himself out of the smashed wooden boxes and frowned at his assailant.

            “What was that for?!” he exclaimed.

            Asuna picked herself up, brushed some of the splinters off of her sleeves and then reached over and promptly delivered a slap to his cheek. Eugeo sat there in shock for a moment. He’d never expected her to be this brazen.

            “Have you lost your mind?” she asked. “For one, you’re still in your underclothes. For two, you’ll get arrested if you go over there and defend him. If both of you are jailed, then there’s definitely no hope. If it’s just Kazuto, he can likely plea to his husband.”

            Eugeo jerked his head in the direction of his boyfriend and swallowed. He couldn’t catch up by now. The knight had tied up the unconscious prisoner and was securing him to the dragon to take him away. Suddenly, Asuna’s hand was on his shoulder. He turned his attention back to her. She smiled gently.

            “He’s going to be fine,” she said. “Luckily for you, I know something special about the knight that just came to retrieve him. So, please, come back with me and hear us out.”

            Casting one last glance over his shoulder as the knight mounted his steed and commanded the dragon to take flight. His heart felt heavy with guilt, even if it wasn’t his fault that Kazuto was being taken away in this moment. He’d still been the one to confess their crime. He gave Asuna a small nod and quietly followed her back to the barn, where Shino, Rika, and Keiko waited patiently.

            “So, what do you know about that knight that makes this situation better at all?” Eugeo asked. “Because as of right now, you can’t really make a situation where Kazuto is jailed and possibly put on death row into a better situation.”

            Rika’s eyes went wide.

            “Whoa, there, no one said anything about death row,” she said, shaking her head. “The Axiom Church wouldn’t just condemn him to death for having sex with someone, now would they?”

            Shino shrugged.

            “Who knows?” she said. “Kazuto likely will piss them off and he _did_ fight back when the knight came to arrest him. Fighting back is punishable by death, I’d say.”

            Keiko covered her eyes and shook her head back and forth.

            “I don’t like this conversation!” she cried.

            Asuna groaned and shook her head.

            “Eugeo, that particular knight was hired by Lord Sugou to catch Kazuto before the other Integrity Knights did,” she said, avoiding all of the comments her friends were making. “I paid an information broker to gather some details a couple of times. She tipped me off that Lord Sugou had paid Fanatio Synthesis Two to capture Kazuto and return him to Eastabarieth.”

            Eugeo had a feeling that he already knew who this Lord Sugou was, but he deemed to ask it anyways.

            “And who exactly is Lord Sugou?” he asked.

            The four girls shared equally uneasy looks. They seemed to be trying to silently decide who should explain this person to Eugeo, and in the end, it was naturally Asuna who ended up shouldering the bulk of the explanation.

            “Lord Sugou is Kazuto’s legal husband, I’m sure you’ve guess,” she said. “Kazuto was forced into an arranged marriage with him when he was fourteen. He selected Kazuto, a peasant, because he found him attractive and hoped to get an heir from him. As he’s already the most powerful noble in our region, there was no need to marry for status.”

            Eugeo frowned.

            “So, he literally only wanted Kazuto for a son?” Eugeo clarified.

            Shino leaned over and added her own two cents.

            “He still does,” she said. “For some reason, Lord Sugou had a lot of trouble with Kazuto and never managed to have a son with him.”

            “Only daughters?” Eugeo asked.

            Rika shook her head.

            “No, maybe we should be a little more blunt,” she said. “Lord Sugou doesn’t have a single child with Kazuto. As we ended up discovering when Asuna brought a really half-dead looking Kazuto back to my hometown, where his parents live, his first and only child at that point was yours—and when I discovered that, Yui wasn’t but a few days old.”

            Eugeo suddenly saw the seriousness of their screw-up five years before. He’d managed to do something that Kazuto’s legal husband had been trying to do for two years and continued to fail at. Of course, he hadn’t known he’d had a child to begin with. Asuna ran him out of Eastabarieth before Kazuto could tell him.

            “And we don’t even know what happened with the second kid,” Rika said.

            Asuna whirled around and made a cutting motion under her chin at the girl, who realized she’d let out some information that Asuna likely didn’t want me hearing about. But now wasn’t the time to be getting jealous over some kid he was forced to carry for the husband he hadn’t asked for. It couldn’t be undone. And it wasn’t his choice, either.

            “E-either way, Lord Sugou wants to have Kazuto back in order to get what he wanted in the first place, a son,” Shino said. “Which means that he’s willing to pardon Kazuto’s infidelity and clear his name before the Axiom Church. Of course, we’ll have to run back there and get Kazuto out. Normally, we wouldn’t have to rush, but since someone in this room managed to knock him up, Lord Sugou will be bound to notice that sooner or later.”            

            Keiko slumped down onto the ground and sighed. Rika stooped down beside her and rubbed her back sympathetically. Asuna frowned and looked back over to Eugeo, who still seemed rather dejected about the whole ordeal.

            “We’re going to get him back,” she said. “And don’t worry too much about Kazuto. He’s as stubborn as can be. He won’t rat you out to Lord Sugou. I mean, last time he was so determined to not reveal you were the father he lied and said his own father was the father.”

            All heads turned and looked at Asuna incredulously, likely for different reasons. Eugeo couldn’t even begin to process what would make Kazuto claim his father impregnated him, but Keiko stood up and clenched her hands into little fists.

            “He told Lord Sugou that Vector was Yui’s father?” she squeaked.

            Shino and Rika tensed up at hearing the darkness god’s name. However, they both gave Asuna a shocked stare, begging her wordlessly to explain why Keiko would claim such a thing. Eugeo, too, stared at Asuna with horror.

            “What?” he asked. “Are you…implying that Kazuto…?”

            Asuna laughed nervously.

            “Right…I wasn’t supposed to say that…” she mumbled.

            Shino wasn’t having that.

            “You can’t just drop something like that and then clam up!” she exclaimed. “Is Keiko serious? Is Kazuto…Vector’s son?”

            For a moment, Asuna just laughed quietly to herself. Eugeo didn’t see anything funny about that. Even before when Kazuto still had his memories, he’d never told him something like that. If what Keiko and Asuna said was true, then…

            “Yes,” Asuna said. “Yes, that’s precisely it. Kazuto’s father is a god. He doesn’t know who his mother was—well, he didn’t know who she was. I didn’t know myself until he admitted it to me when he was delirious from pain from the injury Lord Sugou gave him. And Keiko knows because…well…”

            Keiko filled in the rest.

            “I met him first when he was in labor with Yui…and it was kind of scary,” she admitted. “I don’t think he knows how to do whatever it is gods can do, but the room went all dark even after daybreak and things that touched his fingertips disintegrated. Asuna was the only person brave enough to even touch him.”

            The instance back in Rulid suddenly made sense to Eugeo. He’d watched as Kazuto turned a branch in his hand into dust. Of course, Kazuto couldn’t remember why he could do such a thing. Eugeo looked over at Asuna and knit his brow a little.

            “So, you, uh, delivered my child?” he said awkwardly.

            Asuna nodded.

            “I’m sorry that you didn’t know,” she said. “I was the one who made you leave. And I’ll make sure you meet her. She really resembles Kazuto, but you can definitely see some of you in her face. But before that can happen, we have to get her other dad back, alright?”

            Shino frowned at Asuna.

            “And I’m assuming you’ve got some kind of grand plan?” she said. “Fanatio took a dragon; he’ll beat us to Lord Sugou by a several months.”

            Asuna smiled.

            “I’ve got an idea that could get us there in only two,” she said.

            Eugeo drew in his breath.

            “Alright,” he said. “Then what are we waiting for?”


	22. Prodigal Bride

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Umm hmm uuuuh I'm hyperfixating on this fic so badly right now you might get me doing exactly this. I updated yesterday and now today I'm so sorry. (Or not? If you don't mind them going up fast? Idkkkkk). I'm just writing a storm and can't focus on anything else. Blech. I hope that's okay.

            On a list of things that I shouldn’t have done, running off to attract the attention of an Integrity Knight in order to get arrested and clear Eugeo’s name by entering a local sword arts tournament likely ranks somewhere near the top. It didn’t end too well; the knight slammed an armor-plated foot into my head and knocked me clean out.

            When I woke back up, my face was being gently patted by someone’s bare hand. Their skin was cool. I slowly opened my eyes and saw a woman in light purple armor staring down at me, seeming rather conflicted. When she saw that I was awake, she picked me up effortlessly and propped me against a wall. I noticed after wriggling a little that I was tied up around the ribcage.

            “I apologize for tying you up like that,” the woman said.

            I felt my stomach drop. If she was the one that tied me up, then that meant that she was the Integrity Knight who’d come to arrest me. I hadn’t realized she’d been a woman at all. Then again, I shouldn’t have made any assumptions. She held out a wineskin to me and pressed it against my mouth. Since I couldn’t move my arms, I had to just go with it and drink with her assistance.

            “Lord Sugou ordered me to bring you back, but I didn’t expect to find you with child,” she said.

            She waited for me to finish taking a drink and then put her wineskin away. I’d been hoping she had water, since she was a knight and likely had access to cleaner water, but the aftertaste of alcohol lingered in my mouth. Being rich clearly didn’t mean better access to water in this case. The woman sighed and picked me up, placing me in a standing position.

            “Do you think you can walk for me?” she asked. “Your husband doesn’t seem like the kind who would appreciate you being carried in.”

            I gave her a small nod.

            “If you’re working for this guy,” I asked, “then why did you change where you were going to kick me?”

            In our fight earlier, the woman had motioned as if to kick me in the belly while I was on the ground, but I’d thrown my arms out in a moment of panic and begged her not to harm the baby. Honestly, I don’t know why I even openly admitted that to a knight who I thought was out to arrest me for cheating on a husband I had no memory of. Still, the woman had heard my words and instead chose to knock me out.

            “Your husband can deal with your bastard child however he wants,” she said sharply. “However, I myself don’t find the child to be deserving of something its mother did. You are the one at fault here, not your baby.”

            Her words made sense to me. She urged me forwards, having me walk into the gates of the estate before us without another word. We had to pass through a few checkpoints with guards before we could get in, and at the actual doors to the main house, four guards joined us and walked into the hall with us. One gave me a strangely apologetic smile. I felt bad for not remembering who he was.

            We passed into the main hall, where a man was sitting in a chair at the end in such a way that even from a distance I could pin him as cocky and full of himself. He stood up from his chair and walked over to us, spreading his arms out wide. Instead of addressing the knight who had brought me here, he directed his attention first and foremost to me.

            “A little over four years later, the prodigal bride returns,” he said.

            He reached over and grasped my chin in his hand, tilting my head forcefully to the left and right, as if appraising a farm animal at the market. I was tempted to try and bite him, but his grip was too strong for me to break free from it with my arms tied up.

            “I heard your little bastard child was a girl,” he said, frowning with disappointment. “I think we can do a little better than that, don’t you? I would have taken her, despite her paternity, if she’d have been a boy. But you can’t even screw up properly, can you?”

            The knight cleared her throat.

            “I do believe payment is in order, Lord Sugou,” she said.

            Sugou pushed my back as he let go of my chin. He took a few steps towards the knight and smirked at her. I had mixed feelings for this knight. She clearly didn’t care what happened to me either way, but she still had some kindness in her heart if she was willing to spare an unborn child.

            “You know what I want, Fanatio Synthesis Two,” Sugou said dryly. “I’ll pay you as soon as you tell me how you found her and who you found her with.”

            The knight, whose name was apparently Fanatio, gave me a semi-apologetic glance and then grasped me by the shoulder to bring me closer. I wasn’t sure what this implied, but I knew it couldn’t be beneficial to me in any way.

            “I found her alone, posing as a man in the Zakkaria Sword Arts Tournament,” Fanatio said. “Although it’s very clear that she has been with a man.”

            Sugou raised one eyebrow and glared at me. To prove her point, Fanatio reached over and smoothed down the front of my shirt, holding it down just enough so that was no longer hiding my figure. The nobleman’s face contorted.

            “She did confirm with me that she’s with child,” Fanatio continued. “Do with that knowledge what you will. I still expect my payment. You never specified in what condition she needed to be returned, thus I consider this a fulfillment of our agreement.”

            Unable to respond due to the evident rage in his expression, Sugou nodded to one of the men standing nearby. He ran over to Fanatio, offered her a bag filled with money, and then returned quickly to his post. Fantio gave a slight nod of the head in thanks, cast me one more apologetic glance, and then left as if nothing had happened.

            Sugou waved one hand at the guard on my left. He reached over and started untying my arms. I was silently grateful when the chains came off and I could move my arms again. I rubbed at them where the chains had left impressions in my skin. Sugou reached over and touched his fingers to my stomach. I tolerated it up until he moved his hand up to my chest.

            I slapped his hand away, not wanting to risk him touching or messing with my bindings. As soon as my hand came in contact with his, he leaned over to give me a piece of his mind in my ear. Already irritated, I swung my right hand as hard as I could and slammed my fist into the side of his jaw. A solid crack sounded, and suddenly four spear tips were pointed at my throat.

            “You hot-headed bitch,” Sugou breathed. “I’ll have your head the next time you pull something like that.”

            I drew in a breath.

            “Don’t touch me,” I said, giving him as hateful of a glare as I could muster.

            Clearly unbothered, Sugou whistled and waved over several women from a connecting room. Several of them gasped when they saw me. He turned and beckoned one woman closer to him and ordered her to stand perfectly still next to him.

            “Two can play at this game, dear,” he said.

            Before I could even ask what that meant, he removed a sword from one of the guards’ sheaths and plunged it into the woman’s belly. The other women screamed in horror and took a few steps back. I felt myself wanting to scream. I told myself to bite my tongue and behave, but I couldn’t help it.

            “What the hell was that for?!” I shouted.

            Sugou grasped the collar of my shirt and pulled me closer to him. His face was so close I could smell his awful breath. When our eyes met, I felt a shiver run down my spine. I had no recollection of this man’s face, but in that moment I knew that he was the person who had tried to kill me. He’d been the one to carve the long scar into my back.

            “It’s too much trouble for me to find a new wife,” he said, spitting in my face as he spoke. “You’re in my house under my rules until you produce a male heir. I’ll even overlook your affair if the child’s a boy and looks enough like you to not cause suspicions. But you’ll do as I tell you until I get what I want. Understood?”

            I kept my mouth shut. One of the guards handed Sugou something wrapped in brown cloth. He took the object and looked it up and down, frowning.

            “And what’s this?” he demanded.

            The guard shifted awkwardly in place.

            “Fanatio Synthesis Two claims that this was on her person at the sword arts tournament in Zakkaria,” the guard said. “She brought the item with your wife, unsure if it was a stolen personal belonging or not.”

            Giving me a suspicious glance, Sugou unwrapped the object gingerly. I felt my stomach drop when I saw a glint of black. He was holding my sword. My gut reaction was to dash forward and take it back, but given that no one in the room seemed to be on my side, I held my ground and pitifully gazed at my sword from a distance.

            “It was never mine to begin with, but keep it you-know-where so she can’t get to it,” Sugou said, handing the sword and cloth back to the guard. “All remaining guards, except for Keita, please return to your posts. Keita, please escort my bride to her chambers and place her within Sachi’s care. Ensure she doesn’t leave or do anything risky.”  
            Sugou reached out to be before the guard called Keita could walk off with me and gave me another seriously malicious glare.

            “Oh, and Keita?” he said.

            The guard waited patiently.

            “Please make sure Sachi knows she’s in a fragile condition,” Sugou said. “I’m not too picky, but she seems to have trouble conceiving. Make sure she doesn’t lose the baby. If she’s good and gives me a son, she’s free to do whatever she pleases with her worthless life.”

            After confirming that there was nothing else that needed to be said, Keita pushed me along the hallway, bringing me to my room. Although I felt weird about returning to a room I didn’t recall having, I remained oddly fixated on Sugou’s words just before we’d left. Something about his words felt uncomfortably familiar. I subconsciously pressed a hand to my stomach as I turned the thought over and over in my head. Keita stopped in front of a door and rapped his knuckles against it.

            “Sorry about pointing a spear at you, by the way,” he said, revealing the most relaxed voice I’d heard today. “Totally just acting, bud. You know I wouldn’t actually stab you.”

            I turned my head and gave him a curious glance.

            “Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked. “I know it’s been, what, almost four years, but I’m still on your side, Kazuto.”

            I blinked a few times.

            “I’m sorry, I don’t follow,” I said. “I wish I could, but I don’t…actually remember anything about this place at all…I don’t remember this Sugou person, or who you are, or why I’m here. I only vaguely understand what he means by some bastard child…do you have any clue where that child is, by the way? Because I don’t…”

            Keita leaned over and let his mouth fall open a little as the door opened. A girl who looked slightly younger than me gasped and covered her mouth. She had short black hair and soft eyes. Keita shook his head a little and cleared his throat.

            “Yeah, uh, Sachi?” he said. “I’m not sure what’s going on, but Sugou’s put Kazuto under lockdown and says he can’t leave the room. He told me to tell you he’s knocked up and not permitted to leave. As a personal note, I think he’s hit his head or something?”

            Sachi gave a small nod and grasped my hand, pulling me forward into the room.

            “Thank you, Keita,” she said. “I’ll take good care of him. Go back to your post.”

            The guard gave her an unsure thumbs’ up and then marched back down the hallway. Sachi pushed me away from the door, closed it, and then locked it. I frowned. I’d been expecting the staff to be more hostile to me and even call me a name I didn’t recognize, but these two clearly knew my correct name. The girl turned around to me and frowned. She looked to be on the verge of tears.

            She ran over to me and wrapped arms around my neck tightly. Guilt weighed on my chest. I didn’t remember her, either. Sachi started sobbing into my shirt. Swallowing, I awkwardly reached up and patted her on the back, hoping that she wasn’t averse to that sort of comfort. She finally pulled away and took my face in her hands.

            “You’re alive,” she said, almost choking on a sob. “I thought for sure you were dead.”


	23. Rulebreaker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter's short, kinda just for clarity on what Sachi is suddenly doing in this story haha. Next chapter we'll come back to where I left them. I promise.

_Four years earlier…_

            Sachi didn’t know her parents. When she was very young, she’d been given up, likely to cover some of her parents’ debt to the local feudal lord, Lord Sugou, and ever since, she’d been raised as a handmaiden. She was groomed into the perfect person to stand at the side of the lord’s wife, but nothing could have prepared her for dealing with Kazuto.

            Kazuto entered the estate at the age of fourteen and Sachi had been expecting a young noble girl who’d been groomed to marry a lord. Instead, she received a peasant who was not only as unpredictable as could be, but was also, to her shock, a boy. It had taken her a couple of years to finally understand Kazuto on that front, but he ended up growing on her, especially once Sachi saw how her lord treated him.

            But even despite growing accustomed to Kazuto’s bad habits, stubborn behavior, and overall poor common sense, she once again found herself unprepared for the situation she was currently stuck in. She gently rubbed his back and sighed. He wrapped his arms and legs around his pillow and let out a groan.

            “I don’t understand why he won’t let me eat until dinner!” Kazuto grumbled. “What kind of stupid rule is that?”

            Sachi knew that he wouldn’t like any answer she gave him, but she answered nonetheless.

            “He’s strict about rules, you know this,” she said, continuing to rub his lower back. “And he’s even more so strict about them since you’ve gone and made a fool of yourself. He trusts you even less and wants to keep a tight leash on you.”

            Half-closing his eyes, Kazuto grumbled something inaudible and shifted himself a little.

            “It’s so hot in here, Sachi…” he complained.

            She almost laughed. He complained about the heat when he was wearing nothing except for undergarments, and even then his undershirt was rolled up to just under his ribs. Instead of laughing, she pressed her hand against his forehead. His temperature felt a little high. Sachi bit her lip and hoped he didn’t have a fever. Kazuto pressed his face into his pillow and let out a muffled cry of irritation.

            “I want to go see Eugeo…”

            His comment made her tense up and check over her shoulder. He must have been too tired or stressed at present to realize he’d carelessly used his lover’s name. Sachi hoped that people they couldn’t trust weren’t standing anywhere near them. She reached over and grasped Kazuto by the shoulder and gently rolled him onto his back. He left the pillow by his side.

            “Be careful,” she said quietly.

            Kazuto frowned and nodded a few times. He made a funny face and sat up, leaning forward and clutching his stomach. Sachi wanted to ask him if something felt off, but the boy lifted his head up and glared at the doorway. He mouthed Sugou’s name just as the door swung open. The man was holding an ax in his hand.

            “You little snake…” Sugou murmured. “You’ve cursed my entire estate with your witch child…I’ll kill you…I swear I’ll kill you both!”

            Before Sachi could inquire what on earth the lord meant, Sugou threw himself forward and swung wide with the axe. Realizing the axe was aimed at himself, Kazuto scrambled out of the bed and onto the floor. The weapon embedded itself in the headboard of the bed. Sugou yanked it back out and whirled back around.

            “You and that godspawn will die if it’s the last thing I do, you wretched peasant!”

            Kazuto lifted himself up slightly off of the floor and turned his head just in time to see the axe being brandished over Sugou’s head. The infuriated lord brought the axe down hard onto Kazuto’s prone back with a sickening thud. Sachi, in a moment of panic, threw herself forward and collided with Sugou.

            The axe, not fully embedded in the boy’s back, slipped out of Sugou’s hands and clattered to the floor. Sachi looked over at Kazuto, whose eyes were wide with shock. His arms were shaking, probably willing him to fall flat on the floor. A deep slice ran across his back. Fresh blood stained his now-exposed skin.

            “S-Sachi…” he stammered.

            Half-closing his eyes, Kazuto fell onto his side on the floor and lay still, shaking still from the shock. Sachi wrapped her arms around Sugou, who was now struggling to get back onto his feet and retrieve his weapon. He was distracted momentarily when the door to the bedroom opened to reveal Asuna, of all people, staring wide-eyed at the spectacle.

            “Get him out of here!” Sachi exclaimed. “He’s injured! Help him to a healer or doctor or something!”

            Asuna gave her a nod, carefully reached down and scooped Kazuto up into her arms, and then left the room, all the while grimacing at the blood now soaking her dress. When she had been gone for several minutes, Sachi finally let go of Sugou and made a dash for the door. Sugou grasped her by the ankle, causing her to trip and fall to the floor.

            “How dare you help that wench escape!” he growled.

            He picked himself up and bolted for the door, only to be stopped by one of the guards, a man called Keita. Unbeknownst to Sugou, Keita sided with Sachi and Kazuto more than with his master. He likely was stepping in to help stall for Asuna. Sachi was unable to hear what he was saying to Sugou, but she hoped it was a valid enough lie that the lord would buy it.

            Later, Sachi received a warning from her lord to not openly defy him again, but was not dismissed when Sugou realized his hasty, irrational attacking of Kazuto would force him to search for a new bride. Thus when Sachi heard that instead of quietly divorcing Kazuto, Sugou hired an Integrity Knight to bring him back if he were still alive, she’d quietly wished him dead. After all, death was likely better than the horrible things Sugou did to Kazuto.

 

            Four years later, in the present, Sachi stared at the confused man before her and had to stifle a sob. She was both relieved that he was alive and fearful for his presence here. His embrace had felt unsure, as if he didn’t know her. But she couldn’t help herself. She took his face in her hands and fought to keep the tears from flowing.

            Sachi broke many rules for this boy four years ago. She was prepared, she told herself, to do it again.


	24. Night Terror

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Firstly- there are not enough words in the English language to describe how much depressing sh*t I shoved into one chapter. I apologize if I cause feels. Secondly- in the middle somewhere I started self-projecting and I'm so very sorry. Thirdly- I know I use my tags for trigger warnings but to be clear; tw for mention of Sugou's sexual assault in this fic, as well for some partial nudity when Kazuto's dressing. 
> 
> NGL, I fully expect a few death threats from people I know IRL reading this...don't hold back if you pissed at me I guess. Go anon scream at me on Tumblr via @thegayfromrulid if you haven't evacuated.

            The way she looked at me almost seemed like a concerned mother regarding her child. She’d taken my face in her hands and gazed at me with eyes on the verge of tears. Sachi had presumed me to be dead, which meant that she likely saw Sugou attack me. Unable to contain her relief, she pulled me into another hug, this time being much gentler when she squeezed.

            “I wasn’t sure you’d make it,” she mumbled into my shirt. “There was so much blood…I thought Asuna would never make it out of here with you alive…I didn’t ever want to see you back here for Sugou again, but at the same time…”

            She clutched my shirt in her hands tightly.

            “I’m glad to know you’re safe, Kazuto,” she said.

            I didn’t know what to say to her. But she didn’t seem to mind. She let go of me and took a step back, looking me up and down. Laughing a little, she pressed her hand to my belly and shook her head.

            “You’re so stubborn,” she said. “I remember you coming back here one day all flustered and excited that you met the nicest boy. You never said much more than that, but it was clear that’s always where you ran off to. To meet up with Eugeo.”

            Heat rushed to my cheeks. So, she knew about that. She glanced up at me and laughed again.

            “I was happy for you, that you’d found someone who treated you nice,” Sachi said. “But after a couple of months of running off to meet him, I should have realized something more was going on and should have stopped you to protect you. You got so sick and I didn’t know what was the matter. By the time I figured it out, I didn’t have much time to think about how to best protect you from Sugou.”

            I wanted to interject and tell her that there was no need to feel obligated to protect me, but I held my tongue. Our relationship prior to my memory loss could have been close enough that she felt like a protector or mother to me. She glanced down at my belly and then looked up at me again, frowning.

            “Is the first child okay?” she asked quietly, her voice wavering. “Did the baby live, too?”

            I felt guilty for not knowing the specifics, but I gave her the best answer I could.

            “Asuna told me she’s fine, she just misses me,” I said.

            Sachi smiled.

            “A little girl?” she said. “She’s going to be a big sister soon.”  
            The heat in my cheeks intensified. She must have noted my embarrassment, because she laughed and wrapped her arms around me again. Sachi let go and urged me to sit down on the bed. She handed me a few neatly folded clothing items and said she would help me remove my bindings to sleep. I felt uncomfortable with the idea of removing clothing in front of her, but from her standpoint, we’d done this before.

            I cast her a nervous glance and then removed my top. She waited while I changed my pants to put on the pants she’d provided me with. Embarrassingly enough, they didn’t fit my waist. I didn’t want to note that, but she calmly approached me, turned me to each side to get a feel for how wide I was, and then handed me a different pair of pants.

            “At least this time, I don’t have to sew new clothing when you gain weight,” she said, as if this were the most normal situation to her. “With the first shirt on, I’d misjudged your waist size because it hid your figure. But now I can see you’re further along than I presumed.”

            Frowning, I slipped the new pair of pants on.

            “It hasn’t been _that_ long,” I insisted.

            Sachi raised an eyebrow at me. Her eyes dropped to my exposed stomach and her expression became even more skeptical. I swallowed. I hadn’t known all that long, but I didn’t exactly stare at myself for extended periods of time. What I’d said probably sounded pretty dumb from her perspective. I turned my back to her and buried my face in my hands.

            She rubbed my back gently. Her fingers traced along the scar running down it.

            “I’m sorry I let this happen to you,” she said, changing the topic for a moment. “I won’t let it happen again.”

            I glanced at her over my shoulder and saw her reach up to start undoing my bindings. She smiled at me apologetically and stopped what she was doing to give me a hug from behind. She rested one hand on top of my abdomen and sighed.

            “It’s okay if you haven’t known very long,” she said. “It happens. You should know it’ll be sooner than you thought. But this time, I promise I will protect you both, alright?”

            Having made her intentions clear, she removed my bindings, slipped the top over my head, and told me that if I had any trouble during the night, she’d be in the next room over—if I truly had forgotten. I slipped into the bed, curled up on my side, and subconsciously reached over to pull Eugeo closer to me.

            When the realization that I would have to sleep without him for the first time in a year hit me, I buried my face in my pillow and quietly cried myself to sleep.

 

_A dream…or a memory…_

 

            Groaning, I sat up and looked around. My back was propped against a tree. I blinked a few times. Woods surrounded me. Not a single building was in sight. Someone stepped into my view. I felt my stomach do a flip. I scrambled onto my feet and instantly regretted standing. My head felt light from standing up too fast.

            “No need to run off, I’m not mad, if that’s what you think.”

            I squinted at him, dreading the implications of that statement. So, he knew that I’d thrown out his name to Sugou as the fake father of Yui, then. I had to hide a smirk. Did I really think it’d be that easy to hide information from him? I found myself laughing, wondering what in the world he’d brought me out here for.

            “If you’re not telling me off for throwing around your good name, then what are you here to tell me off for?” I asked.

            Dark, yet concerned, eyes locked with mine. Saying nothing, he pointed a finger at my middle. I blinked and clutched my stomach.

            “What’s it to you?” I asked, going on the defensive. “Does it bother you that I’ve decided to stay out of Sugou’s grasp by settling for Asuna? Or does it bother you that the father’s the one doing all of the hard work?”

            Sighing, the darkness god pressed his fingers to his temples.

            “Your human desire to have a normal family will be the death of you,” he said, narrowing his eyes. “I didn’t allow Asuna to meet you so that you could do this. I allowed her to meet you to get you away from that awful lord who mistreated you so. Since the first boy didn’t have the courage to break you out, I sent her in, presuming things would be different.”

            I snorted.

            “What do you mean you ‘sent her in,’?” I said. “We met because her father was visiting the estate and…why was she with him?”

            I thought about that. Despite the noble reaction to me identifying as a man, Asuna seemed to be pretty well-supported in identifying as a woman. No one questioned her presentation, at least while I was watching. Then again, Asuna herself was a noble—I was of common birth, thus it might be assumed that I didn’t deserve the same respect as her. In that train of thought, Asuna’s father wouldn’t pass his estate onto her, but rather to her brother. She’d had no reason to accompany him.

            “Ah,” I said.

            Seeing that I understood perfectly well without needing his explanation, he continued past his comment without hesitation.

            “I’ve decided that your actions this time were unknowingly too dangerous and have come to offer you a choice,” he said, clasping his arms behind his back. “Both you and Asuna are unaware of this fact, but regardless of the choice you make here and now, your child will die.”

            I clutched the fabric of my shirt over my belly and bit my lip. He could have been lying for all I knew, but gods weren’t typically as twisted in motive as humans were. A human would make that statement for their own gain, but he had nothing to gain from saying that. Even as a trickster god, he was relatively blunt when it came to familial matters.

            “What do you mean?” I asked quietly.

            He took a few steps closer to me, so that we were about half an arm’s length apart, and he cautiously placed a hand near my stomach. I frowned and looked up at him. He winced as if he were in pain.

            “As I suspected, even with Asuna having the slightest fraction of shared blood with Stacia, I can sense the conflict of light and dark magic from your child,” he said.

            I swallowed.

            “Asuna…is related to Stacia?” I asked.

            Stacia, the creation goddess herself. The one who represented creation in opposition to Vector, my father, the god of destruction. I stared down at my belly and suddenly felt terrified. The way he put it, something was wrong with our compatibility. Our child wouldn’t make it because we’d had no idea.

            “Yes, and I’d like to keep her from knowing that,” Vector said, giving me a purposeful glare. “Now, you know this means that although the child is clearly fighting hard to survive at the moment, it will never see the light of day. There’s no point to carrying it any longer.”

            I drew in a deep breath. I saw his intentions now. He was here to end the life of my unborn child, seemingly out of kindness. The very thought made me sick. He’d already given up on our baby’s life. Tears of frustration welled up in my eyes.

            “It could make it,” I said.

            Vector frowned.

            “Excuse me?”

            I lifted my chin and stared at him, furrowing my brow.

            “I’m saying the baby could make it, dammit!” I said. “You don’t know that it’ll die just because it’s fighting! I’ll do whatever I can! I’m not letting you kill our child!”

            He sighed deeply and shook his head. He grasped my firmly by the shoulders.

            “Kazuto, listen to me,” he said. “It’s not just the child that’s incompatible with itself. It’s also you. Even if you manage to keep it alive for another few weeks, the light magic will kill you. No, it already is killing you.”

            My eyes widened, unable to break off the stare. Vector lifted one hand off of my shoulder and pressed it to the side of my head. I could feel myself shaking. I didn’t want to believe what he said, yet I knew that he was right.

            “I know it’s hard to hear,” he said. “And that is why I will present you with an equally difficult choice.”

            I swallowed again.

            “The first option is to simply return to your life, saying nothing of this conversation, and living out the short rest of your life with the child’s mother,” he said. “You won’t have to feel the guilt of living on without your child, nor will you have to fear retaliation from your husband if he so chooses to pursue you further.”

            My lip trembled as I responded.

            “And…the other…option?” I asked.

            Vector broke his eye contact with me and stared off to the side.

            “The second option is to allow me to end the child’s and your suffering,” he said slowly. “In order to spare you the guilt, I’ll take all of your memories and place you with your original lover to start over, in his village in Norlangarth.”

            I felt my body turn light. My knees gave out and I dropped to the ground. A numbness filled my brain. Neither option sounded pleasant. At least, in this case, I’d likely receive different kinds of pleasant feelings from either situation—the knowledge that I’d live the rest of my life, however short, with people who loved and cared for me or living with no memories of my trauma with the person my heart truly belonged to.

            “You’re asking for me to choose between knowing I’m going to die very soon and killing my own child to spare my life and live happy,” I summed up.

            Vector hummed.

            “Put that way, it sounds less neutral,” he said.

            I shook my head, trying to hold back a sob.

            “It isn’t neutral at all!” I exclaimed. “This isn’t a fair decision!”

            He knelt down and placed a hand on my shoulder.

            “Many things in life are not fair,” he told me, giving me a knowing look. “But it was more fair to give you a choice rather than selfishly taking the life of your child just to save you, Kazuto. Please understand that.”

            I slapped his hand away.

            “Don’t act like a saint now, just because my life is in danger!” I said. “You never once stepped in to stop Sugou from the horrible things he did to me! Don’t just make someone for a special purpose and only intervene when it’s life or death!”

            Vector didn’t respond.

            “Where were you when I was being humiliated?” I asked. “When that sick bastard forced my clothing off and forced himself on me, when he hit me and manipulated me—where? You want to just step in now to save my life because you need it for something? You’re just as selfish as any human being!”

            His response was as cold as ice.

            “Your problems with me will not change that you have to make this choice,” he said. “I won’t let you leave without making it.”

            I buried my face in my hands and drew in a deep breath to think about it. If I died, there would be nothing positive to gain from this. If I lived, I’d not only live guilt-free due to the loss of memory, but I’d also have a chance to start over. In either of these situations, Asuna would be devastated.

            Even still, I had to make the selfish choice. Out of a desire to survive. Out of a desire to live a life without being reminded of how I’d been wronged. Out of a desire to see Eugeo again. I mumbled a quick, likely pointless apology under my breath.

            “I’m sorry…Asuna…I’m sorry…” I murmured.

            I lifted my head up and wiped the tears off of my cheeks as I made eye contact with Vector. His expression was calm and solemn. I let out the breath I’d been holding and forced the words out of my mouth.

            “I choose to live,” I said. “But promise me something.”

            The god tilted his head curiously.

            “Promise you what?”

            Taking both hands, I pressed them over my belly and stared down at them, trying to keep my emotions in check. Tears continued to stream down my cheeks and guilt welled up in my chest. I might have avoided the sob that followed, if not for the fact that the baby started moving. I picked up one hand and pressed it to my mouth to stifle the sob.

            “I’m sorry…I’m sorry…” I cried.

            Unable to look Vector in the eyes, I kept my eyes closed and answered him in the clearest voice I could manage, which still wavered and cracked with my sobs.

            “Promise me…that it will be painless…” I managed.

            Vector placed a hand on my head and hummed.

            “Your child will feel no pain in death,” he reassured me.

            His hand dropped and covered my eyes.

            “Now,” he said. “Sleep.”

 

            I barely registered throwing myself from the bed onto the floor and leaning over to throw up. The room felt like it was spinning. Sweat drenched my body, yet I felt cold. I picked myself up onto my hands and knees, crawled a few feet away from the bed, stopped, clutched my belly, and then vomited again.

            “I…I…I didn’t…why would I…why would I do that…” I stammered.

            The images and words looped in my brain, clearly explaining something I’d never wanted explained to me. My brain wandered back to the first day I awoke in my amnesiac state—to the blood that had stained my clothing. Once again, my stomach turned. Bile filled my throat, and I threw up mostly acid from my stomach.

            “That blood…the…”

            Sister Azariya had mentioned that I might have been recently pregnant before waking up confused in the forest near Rulid Village. Not once in this past year had it crossed my mind that she’d been right. I’d been assuming this entire time that she’d seen the stretch marks from carrying mine and Eugeo’s daughter.

            “Asuna…” I muttered. “Oh, gods…Asuna…”

            Sachi ran into the room and was asking me something, likely if I was alright. She grabbed some wet cloths, started cleaning the sweat and vomit off of me, and then helped me get back up onto the bed. The whole time, she kept asking in different ways if I felt alright. I just shook my head and tried to form words that wouldn’t come out of my mouth. By the time something did erupt from my throat, it wasn’t words.

            It was a scream.

            I’d killed my own child. My memory was taken to keep me from feeling the guilt of making that choice. And now that I’d recalled it, my brain could only focus on two thoughts that volleyed back and forth in my mind.

            That I’d killed my baby.

            And that because of that, my body was its tomb.


	25. Sugou's Limits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Ok, I finished this chapter up! I had some fun with imagining some flowers while writing this. And then I pulled my usual BS and wrote serious things. (sigh) Next chapter I'm going back to Eugeo because he's been left alone for a bit and needs some attention. But for now, some Sachi and Kazuto.

            For the next month, Sugou refused to see me. I didn’t exactly want to see him, of course, but this meant that Sachi kept me on a specific schedule within a select area so that the two of us didn’t cross paths. Things weren’t stressful in a way that made sense. There was the stress of constantly having to make sure that if I did leave the room it was at times when Sugou was off of the estate property, but otherwise, my days were mostly restful and spent with Sachi and a handful of other waitstaff.

            At the end of the month, Sachi shook my shoulder to wake me up and told me that Sugou finally decided to have a private meeting with me. I’d be meeting with him at the dinner hour, “properly dressed” in a provided dress, and without the accompaniment of my handmaiden. I groaned and sat up a little.

            “Until then, why don’t we walk around the garden?” Sachi suggested. “It’s a nice day, and you’ve been pretty lazy lately.”

            I grumbled at her comment.

            “You’d be lazy, too, if you had to cart around this much extra weight,” I told her.

            She gently rubbed the small of my back.

            “You _do_ have to get up to eat,” she reminded me.

            Glancing back at her, I forced myself into a completely upright sitting position and stretched my arms. A yawn interrupted the response I’d meant to give. Sachi reached over and pulled my shirt down, which made me pause mid-stretch and give her a funny look. She fussed over me like a mother. Smiling, she offered me a hand.

            “You don’t have to do that, you know,” I said.

            Sachi picked up my hand and then raised her eyebrows a little. I sighed and let her help me up out of the bed. She smiled wider and pulled me into a tight hug. When she pulled back, she gave me a stern look.

            “Be honest, how are you feeling right now?” she asked.

            I gave her a semi-sleepy yet confident smile.

            “Aside from hastily awoken, well-rested,” I said. “My back does feel a little sore. And I’m kinda hungry.”

            She laughed.

            “Go ahead and get dressed, I’ll bring you some breakfast, and then we’ll go out in the garden,” Sachi said.

 

            Since I’d woken up rather late, dinner would be the next meal after my oddly timed breakfast. Sachi insisted that I go ahead and put the dress on, since I would need to join Sugou for dinner after our garden visit. After changing, she directed me outside into the garden. It was warm, but not too hot. Fall weather should have been starting, but for now, this was quite nice.

            The garden spread out across the back of the estate. Flowers that bloomed towards the end of summer were still bobbing lightly in the wind. I drew in a breath of fresh air and gazed over the sea of flowers. Soon, they’d die and be buried in colorful leaves. Sachi bent down, picked a red flower, and held it up to me.

            “These smell particularly nice,” she said.

            I took the flower by its stem and held it up to my nose. It gave off a faint, but sweet scent. The wind picked up a little and pushed the flower against the tip of my nose. I wrinkled my nose a little at the tickling sensation. Sachi picked another and then held it up to her face as well, taking in its scent.

            “If you pinch the bottom and remove it, you can drink the nectar out of it,” she said.

            She showed me how to remove the green part that connected the flower to the stem. Then, she placed the back end of the flower in her mouth. Curiously, I copied her actions and stuck the end of the flower in my mouth. A light sugary flavor hit my tongue. I pulled the flower back out of my mouth and hummed.

            “Interesting,” I said.

            Sachi took me by the hand and led me through the garden. At certain spots, she’d stop and tell me a story about something I did there that amused her. In a funny kind of way, it warmed my heart that she wanted to help me remember pleasant memories of the two of us. Some stories, however, weren’t as innocent or pleasant. We stopped by a stone bench a good ways away from the main house. She knelt down in front of it and traced her fingers along it.

            “This was the spot you tended to come and cry at,” she said quietly. “If Sugou did something to you, you’d come out here and cry on this bench and beg the gods to take you away from here. You wouldn’t even let me console you or anything…”

            I got down on my knees beside her and placed a hand on her shoulder. She turned to me, her eyes brimming with tears, and forced a smile.

            “It’s not just that, though,” she said. “You came out here once when you got really sick. I came out to try and help and found you panicking. Of course, you weren’t panicking about something horrible.”

            I frowned and tilted my head.

            “Then why’d I panic?” I asked.

            She laughed and reached over to gently pat my belly.

            “You felt your little one move for the first time and it scared you,” Sachi told me. “That’s when I connected the dots about what you’d done with Eugeo. I think in that moment, I started to connect this particular spot with fear. Sitting here now, I still feel just as fearful. He almost killed you and your daughter last time. I don’t want to watch him hurt you again.”

            I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and pulled her against my side.

            “We’ll figure something out,” I said.

            She tilted her head up to look at me. I met her gaze with a smile. Her lips turned upwards a little. She pulled herself away from me and gently touched my stomach. I placed my hand over top of hers. Sachi choked on a sob she’d been holding in and shook her head.

            “Hey, we’re gonna be okay,” I told her.

            Drawing in a breath, she shook her head. I wanted to say something that she’d believe, but I wasn’t given any time to think. The sound of clanking armor came from behind us. Guards were coming, most likely to take me to dinner with Sugou. They arrived on the spot and gave me a concerned look. Sachi gasped, realizing they were there, and then stood up quickly to offer me a hand.

            “It’s time,” she said.

            Without complaint, I let her help me to my feet, this time feeling grateful for it. The guards ordered Sachi to return to my chambers and wait for me there. She curtsied and then headed back towards the main house. I, however, was led into Sugou’s private house at the back of the garden.

            The moment I stepped through the front door, my body started to shake. Memories I didn’t want to regain seeped through just enough to tell me nothing good had ever happened to me in this home. I stopped in my tracks and swallowed. The guard on my left gave me a gentle nudge on the back to keep moving.

            They brought me into a candlelit dining room. The table was smaller than I would have expected for a rich man’s dinner area, but then again, the main house might be where he typically served his guests. Sugou himself was already seated at the table, a wineglass held in one hand and his chin propped in the other. He tipped the glass to his left, indicating that that was where I should sit. The guards walked me over to the chair, and then he quietly dismissed them.

            “Go on, then,” he said. “Sit.”

            I wanted to do the opposite of what he said just to spite him, yet I roughly pulled out the chair and sat down in it without a word. I glared down at the plate in front of me and swallowed. He’d gone through the trouble of making sure we both had full plates of food, knowing I’d likely be hungry. It would be hard to avoid eating just to make a statement.

            “You know, I would have presumed at the age of twenty-one that you’d have matured enough to not break the Taboo Index again,” Sugou said, taking a sip of his wine. “And yet you seem to be rather fascinated with doing it simply to piss me off, don’t you, now?”

            His eyes glinted in the candlelight. A cruel grin was plastered on his face. I didn’t give him the satisfaction of answering.

            “It’s curious,” he said. “After last time, you really had me convinced a god came down and forced himself on you, but after planting that ax in your back, I started to think about it. Why would a god even want to have intercourse with a peasant such as yourself? And, of course, why would a god do something that violated the Taboo Index to begin with?”

            I bit my lip. I didn’t recall any of this.

            “It’s quite simple, dear,” he said. “You lied.”

            Sitting up straighter, I swallowed nervously and met his gaze.

            “Your firstborn was just as human as you or me,” Sugou said. “And the same is true of this time. Somewhere, you’ve got a pesky little lover peasant that needs to be taught a lesson. Naturally, if I catch him, I won’t instantly kill him—no, I want him to watch as his son or daughter is claimed as mine.”

            I furrowed my brow and clutched the seat of the chair with my hands.

            “Leave him out of this,” I said.

            Sugou raised an eyebrow.

            “Keep in mind, dear, that without me you have no rank or title,” he said, tapping his glass with his finger. “And the only thing that will keep you in my good graces will be if you bear a son. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you in line. If it means threatening your lover, I’ll make sure to find him quickly.”

            He waved at the plate in front of me.

            “Oh, don’t just sit there,” he said. “I know you’re hungry.”

            Angrily, I snatched up the fork and shoved food in my mouth, not caring to look polite or decent for this man at all. He said nothing and simply snickered. I cleared the plate quickly, threw down my fork, and then motioned to the plate as I gave him an unamused glare. He hummed and glanced between myself and the plate.

            “If all you wanted to was to tell me that you want to threaten someone you don’t know nor can ever find, am I free to leave?” I asked.

            Sugou narrowed his eyes at me.

            “I never said you were done here,” he said.

            He stood up and walked over to me. I made as if to stand up, but he roughly grabbed my shoulder and forced me back down into the chair. Sugou turned the chair just enough that there was nothing between us and then leaned over me. He brushed my hair behind my ear and grasped my face so I wouldn’t turn my head.

            “Tell me who the father is,” he said.

            I furrowed my brow.

            “And if I don’t?” I asked.

            Sugou smirked and pointed at my belly with his free hand.

            “If it’s a girl, I’ll kill it,” he said matter-of-factly.

            I tensed up. He likely didn’t know it, but he’d hit a sore spot. Guilt burned in my chest, reminding me that last time I’d been faced with a choice involving an unborn child, I’d chosen to let it die. My gut instinct was to correct my past mistake, for the sake of my child, and give Sugou Eugeo’s name. However, seeing as he’d apparently promised to let me have my daughter last time and ended up nearly killing me, it was possible he might just kill me, the baby, or both of us either way.

            I tightened my grip on the fork in my hand and slammed it into the table, piercing through the expensive-looking tablecloth and embedding the utensil in the wood. The force of this action knocked over a candle, spilling melted wax onto the cloth and nearly catching it on fire. Sugou quickly jumped up and stood the candle upright. I stood up, taking advantage of the space he’d unintentionally given me, picked up the glass of wine at my place, and dumped it down my throat.

            “You’ll get his name over my dead body,” I told him.

            Shoving past him, I made for the exit. He leapt to his feet and went to grab my arm. I turned around and grasped his outstretched hand, twisting it the wrong way as hard as I could. Sugou called for a guard, but before the guard could get to me, I grasped his pinky, forced it to bend against the joint, and heard a loud snap. Sugou jerked his hand away from me and pulled back his other hand to hit me.

            “You can’t hurt me,” I said.

            His fist stopped mid-swing.

            “How dare you imply—” he started, but I cut him off.

            “I know a smart man such as yourself,” I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm, “wouldn’t ruin his chances of receiving a male heir by causing trauma to the person responsible for carrying that heir, now would he?”

            Anger burned in his eyes. For emphasis, smoothed down the fabric over my belly. He put his hand down shaking and called off the guard. Confident I’d put him in his place, I turned to leave again. Sugou grasped the front of the dress I wore and pulled my face up to his. In a last desperate attempt to make me submit, he pressed his mouth against mine.

            Revulsion might be the only word that could describe how I felt. I tried to pull my head away, but he held the back of my head and neck so that I couldn’t. I wanted to throw up. He shoved his tongue into my mouth. I fought the urge to gag and reacted defensively. I bit down as hard as I could until I tasted blood and my teeth hit each other. Sugou threw himself back. Nearly vomiting from the gag reflex, I spit out what was in my mouth.

            “You crazy bitch!” he exclaimed, but it sounded funny. “You bit off my tongue!”

            I spat a second time, trying to get the taste of his blood out of my mouth.

            “Serves you right,” I said.

            I turned my back on him and glared at the guard on my left.

            “I’m going back to my room,” I said. “With or without your guard.”

            As unpleasant as this experience had been, I’d learned one valuable thing during my interaction with Sugou. While he might toss around threats due to his title, he couldn’t and wouldn’t physically harm me right now. His delusions about getting a male heir from me were so great that after messing up the first time, he was determined to keep me safe to get what he wanted this time around.

            And I figured, if I could manage then to break his finger and bite off his tongue, with a little more thought, I might be able to end this situation once and for all, hopefully freeing myself from this unwanted marriage.


	26. Decisions of the Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: It's me, still unusually focused on this fic. Chapter tw for mentions of- underage (consensual) sex, abuse, sexual abuse, and sexual assault. I'm very tired. A friend read my last update at a party we were at together and then reminded me I'm a sinner. I love you friend, don't kill me. Things will be better. For now, they must struggle a little. Hopefully I'll share my writing passion with other fics but if ya'll are lucky I'll return soon.

            Eugeo stared numbly at Asuna’s back while she argued with the border guard about being allowed to cross. The guard, an energetic man named Klein, rambled away about maybe letting the pretty girls pass if they weren’t up to any funny business. Asuna tried to stress that she was a noble from Eastabarieth in the Yuuki household and such, but it was taking longer than the group liked. Shino reached over and elbowed Rika, who in turn elbowed Keiko, who jumped a little and then placed a hand on Eugeo’s back.

            “I’m sure we’ll get across soon,” she said.

            He cast a worried glance at the three girls. They each offered him a sympathetic smile. Despite being Asuna’s friends, who likely had tagged along on her original mission to retrieve her lover, none of them gave him any grief for their change of plans. Eugeo glanced back up at the gate in front of them.

            The last time he’d been at this wall, he’d been exiting it. The first time, he’d had to sneak through, pretending to be someone’s kid. That was much easier at the age of sixteen than at twenty-one; the most he could argue now would be that he was Asuna’s husband. But they’d both agreed they didn’t want to pretend to be a couple. He looked back at the girls by his side and decided to try and pass the time with conversation.

            “So, how do you all know Kazuto?” he asked.

            Rika was the first to give an answer.

            “Same home village,” she said. “I’m a blacksmith in his home village, so I knew him as a kid. I think I’m the only person here who knows his birthname.”

            Shino rolled her eyes.

            “I met him because of Asuna,” Shino said. “I’m her hired bodyguard formally and her best friend otherwise. So, I knew of him through visits to the Nobuyuki estate, but it wasn’t until Asuna ran off with him back to his hometown to protect him and I had to go on a wild chase to find her that I really _met_ him.”

            Eugeo glanced over at Keiko, whose face turned bright red.

            “I…uh…I met both Kazuto and Asuna…” she stammered. “Well, they, uh…ran into my family’s barn after escaping his husband and…I kind of…helped deliver your daughter…”

             The two other girls leaned over and gave Keiko a weird look. Eugeo, also, found the statement a little weird, but was less thrown off than her friends. He twiddled his thumbs and averted his gaze.

            “I didn’t even know I _had_ a daughter until the other day,” he said quietly.

            Keiko reached over and clasped his hands.

            “If it makes you feel any better, I think she’s got your face,” she said. “I don’t have any reason to doubt that Kazuto would have told you if he could have. Before he started his relationship with Asuna, it was pretty clear he was heartbroken to be separated from Yui’s dad.”

            The girl closed her eyes and laughed.

            “I also remember how badly he wanted you there when Yui was born,” she said. “He was terrified. The whole time he was stressed out and kept crying that he wanted you there. When we finally handed Yui to him, he broke down sobbing, partly from relief, partly because he was holding his baby girl, and partly because he was upset you couldn’t hold her, too.”

            Keiko gave Eugeo’s hands a light squeeze.

            “We’re going to make sure you’re there this time, okay?” she said.

            Eugeo opened his mouth to respond, but he was cut off when Asuna turned around and waved for them all to follow through the border gate. She’d successfully gained them passage into Eastabarieth. The conversation behind her was quickly swept under the rug and the traveling party crossed the border of the two empires to seek out somewhere to sleep for the night.

            An odd feeling filled Eugeo’s chest as he followed the entourage into the Eastabarieth quarter of Centoria. When he was last in this section of the capital city, he’d come in search of someone that might be able to teach him about the sword he’d found. Oddly enough, instead of finding a blacksmith or someone of that nature, he’d run into a boy about his age who had a fascination with swords.

            “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were holding the sword of ice that the hero Bercouli used to kill a dragon.”

            Eugeo blinked at an alleyway, remembering Kazuto’s first words to him. He’d been shocked, of course, that someone from Eastabarieth knew about Bercouli and the dragon. But after spending a bit of time talking to Kazuto, Eugeo didn’t wonder about it. It was just something that fascinated him. He looked into all sorts of things concerning swords, and even secretly practiced swinging one with a guard from his estate named Keita.

            The memory mixed pleasant emotions with a bit of heartache. He’d lost himself in Kazuto’s positive smiles and carefree approach to everything, not once stopping to wonder if that was all there was to the boy. Eugeo let himself fall in love with him without knowing the full picture. The full picture, of course, didn’t make him love him any less. But there was no forgetting the instinctive, tensed up, knee-jerk flinch reaction Kazuto gave when he’d first brushed his lips against Eugeo’s…

            “I think here’s a good place, don’t you think, Shino?” Asuna asked, pointing at an inn.

            “Why can’t we just stay at your estate?” Keiko asked.

            There was a pause.

            “I doubt my family would be welcoming to us,” Asuna said stiffly. “I ran away from home and was in an illegal relationship with a peasant. A peasant who was by marriage a noble that I helped escape from his husband, no less. While Eugeo might be eager to be on Centoria’s most wanted list, I certainly don’t want to join him.”

            Eugeo frowned and gave her an unamused glare.

            “There’s no need to be petty,” Rika said, butting between the two.

            Asuna handed some money to Shino and instructed her to go inside and reserve a room for them. As Shino entered the inn, Asuna turned towards Rika with her arms crossed. Rika tensed up, sensing that she’d crossed a line.

            “I’m trying very hard to not let my jealousy get the best of me,” Asuna said. “I left Eastabarieth to find my boyfriend and hopefully my child, and I found one of the two with no memory and a different lover. I can’t exactly blame him for his memory loss, but it doesn’t make it very easy to constantly be around the person he chose over me.”

            Rika’s mouth opened and closed a few times as she searched for something to say. Finally, she clamped it shut, unable to think of a proper response. Taking advantage of the awkward silence, Eugeo spoke up instead.

            “You lost a child?” he asked.

            Asuna’s eyes narrowed.

            “Don’t play stupid,” she said. “He was pregnant when he went missing. From how you spoke, you’d been together almost a year when we found you. According to when he vanished, it would have been days after he went missing that you two crossed paths. I just haven’t really wanted to ask the question of what you did with my baby, since you clearly don’t have the child with you.”

            Eugeo felt his stomach drop. Back when he’d first discovered Kazuto near the Rul River a little over a year ago, he’d not given much thought to the state he’d found him in. He figured it was rude to overtly point out the blood staining his clothing. After all, Eugeo thought what felt natural to think in that situation—his body was just doing something normal.

            But that wasn’t to say he hadn’t been curious about it. He should have known that even though four years had separated them, that kind of peculiar weight gain wasn’t just weight gain. Eugeo hugged himself and stared down at the ground, unsure of what to tell her. He supposed the truth.

            “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I don’t know anything about this.”

            It was the truth. But it was also his way of sparing her feelings. He didn’t know if the child had been born and was abandoned or if it simply hadn’t made it. Either way, he didn’t want to have this conversation with his boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend. Shino opened the inn door and called them inside.

            Two rooms had been reserved—one for the girls and one for Eugeo. After a hasty dinner, Eugeo claimed he was too tired to socialize and retired to his inn room. He slipped into his nightclothes, crawled onto the bed, and let his eyes slowly slip closed and take him deep into sleep.

            A memory filled his dreams.

            Back at an inn, possibly the same one he slept in now, but four years in the past. He gently held Kazuto’s shoulders as they shook with sobs. Kazuto kept apologizing for his behavior, saying that he shouldn’t have been so startled by a spontaneous kiss. Eugeo wanted to hug him, but the boy’s knees buckled, and he fell to the floor and continued to sob.

            Eugeo knelt down and took Kazuto’s face in his hands. The boy stopped crying, blinking up at Eugeo with wet eyelashes. His lips quivered. He wiped the tears off of Kazuto’s cheeks and leaned in a little closer. Kazuto straightened up. He numbly lifted his hands to remove his shirt. Eugeo placed his hand on top of Kazuto’s and frowned.

            “What are you…doing?” he asked.

            Confused, Kazuto knit his brow.

            “I know how this goes,” Kazuto said slowly. “It’s what my husband does. He puts his lips on mine a lot at first, but afterwards he wants…”

            Eugeo sat back and watched as Kazuto lowered his head, staring down between his legs. Two thoughts immediately flooded into his mind. The first was acknowledgement that his beloved had been forced to do something he didn’t want to do. The second was shock at learning he had a husband.

            “You’re…married?” he asked.

            Kazuto lowered his head even more.

            “I am in an arranged marriage to Lord Sugou Nobuyuki,” Kazuto said. “The marriage to a peasant was ordered because I apparently could produce an attractive heir.”

            The boy clutched the fabric of his shirt over his belly. If what he said was true, then Kazuto was no ordinary boy. Legally, he was a noblewoman. And Eugeo had just kissed him. His actions had been illegal.

            “So…we can’t be together,” Eugeo said.

            Kazuto’s head snapped up.

            “No, don’t take it…I didn’t mean—!”

            The boy forgot about his sobbing and scrambled over to Eugeo, reaching out to him with desperate, shaking hands. Determination filled his dark eyes. He took Eugeo’s hands in his and drew in a deep breath.

            “I just want to know if it’ll be different with someone I actually…love…” Kazuto said.

            Eugeo almost asked what he was talking about, but thinking back to how moments before Kazuto had moved to remove his clothing, he had a pretty good idea. His actions hadn’t exactly told Eugeo that he _wanted_ that.

            “You shouldn’t do something that makes you uncomfortable,” Eugeo said. “And, besides, we could be killed for that. We aren’t even married to each other and you’re married…the Taboo Index clearly—”

            Kazuto dropped his head against Eugeo’s shoulder and sighed.

            “I wouldn’t tell anyone that would tell the church,” he said softly. “I don’t know if I’ll be uncomfortable.”

            He lifted his head up.

            “But I want to know whether I can be comfortable or not,” he said.

            Taking a deep breath, he squeezed Eugeo’s hands tightly.

            “I promise I will tell you if something bothers me,” he said.

            In that moment, Eugeo found himself inexplicably trapped between his own desires and what he knew to be right. The very laws of the land and the religious law of the Taboo Index were clear; sex outside of marriage was intolerable. Infidelity resulted in execution. But was it infidelity for Eugeo? Kazuto certainly was breaking the law, and in a manner of speaking, without marrying him, so was Eugeo.

            From a legal standpoint, it was wrong.

            But once, when they were together watching people in the local market, Kazuto had said something rather strange. He’d told Eugeo that sometimes the law wasn’t just or fair. Back then, he found the statement odd and unnerving. Now, he suspected that the law binding Kazuto to this lord made him say things like that. It wasn’t fair to Kazuto to have to act as a wife and child-bearer to a man who apparently abused him.

            Leaning forward, Eugeo half-closed his eyes and hesitatingly brushed his lips against Kazuto’s, wary of another panicked reaction. This time, however, Kazuto gently leaned in as well, pressing his lips harder into Eugeo’s. When their lips parted, Eugeo searched Kazuto’s face, trying to gauge his reaction.

            “Just this once,” Kazuto said. “If you want to, that is.”

            Did he want to?

            “And I guess you should know, before you say yes or no…” Kazuto said, getting quieter.

            Kazuto lifted off his shirt, revealing cloth bindings around his torso. Eugeo expected to see them, since Kazuto had noted his marriage was arranged so that he could bear children for his husband. However, Kazuto wasn’t intending to draw attention to that. He was showing him various scars and bruises on his skin. Eugeo covered his mouth with his hand.

            The law he wanted to follow allowed Kazuto to be trapped in a marriage where this was the attention he received. Upon seeing this, Eugeo was filled with anger towards this lord. He, a young, unwed boy who knew nothing of marriage, relationships, or sex, made his decision in that moment. He’d break the rules. He felt the need to show Kazuto that love wasn’t like this.

            He nodded.

            “Okay,” he said. “We can try.”

            For once, he didn’t focus on the fact that what they were doing broke the very Taboo Index he usually so strictly obeyed. Perhaps it wasn’t something they should have done. They were young—only sixteen, after all. Two boys who were clueless as to what they were doing and what consequences such an action would have.

            As the weeks passed, they continued in their lawless behavior. Kazuto sought refuge with Eugeo from the life he was forced to live out during the day. Their behavior was reckless. Even as he dreamt about their time together as teenagers, Eugeo felt guilt in the pit of his stomach. At some point during their few months of reckless indulgence, they’d made life.

            Kazuto never mentioned anything to Eugeo. Had he simply not known before Eugeo took the advice of the noblewoman Asuna and left Eastabarieth without a word? He racked his mind for obvious signs. Of course, Asuna had made him leave. She likely knew what Eugeo hadn’t; she wanted the two separated before it was discovered.

            When he woke up the next morning, brought back violently to the present by the bright daylight pouring through his window, Eugeo had to wonder—had Asuna attempted to protect him since he was a peasant? She was hard to read.

            All he knew was that she fought against herself to help him now. And that, he felt, spoke worlds about her integrity.


	27. Divine Orders

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Lord if I can't put this fic down for 5 seconds to do productive shit. Oh well. My friend is ready to kill me for this fic idk what I did that's so terrible (jk I know) but I'm sure this chapter will only make it worse. On that note, have fun.

            I stared into my glass, trying to tune out the noise around me. As punishment for removing a rather significant portion of Sugou’s tongue, I had to act as the host for his upcoming dinner party. Sachi helped to brief me on some noble-like decorum, but it hardly helped in this situation. The lords and ladies seated around the table engaged in conversation well beyond me. I quietly swallowed my dinner, sat back in my chair lazily, and sipped at my drink, waiting for it to be over.

            The family to my left kept giving me odd glances. I suspected they didn’t find the way I was slouched back in the chair to be very polite. If they deemed to ask me, I’d likely defend myself with the fact that sitting up all proper was exhausting. Since they kept to themselves, I didn’t say anything and swirled my drink around. I thought I might spend the rest of the evening in silence until the wife leaned over and broke it.

            “I’m surprised to see you in a dress,” she said, giving me a curt glance.

            I took another sip of my drink and frowned. She likely knew it was easier to wear dresses for me at the moment than it was to get the handmaidens to make pants that fit my waist. Sachi, of course, had no issue doing that, but I apparently had hit the limit of her supply from before and she’d need to take measurements again. There didn’t seem to be a point to that, though. If the baby came soon, she’d have to remeasure anyways.

            “Well, we wouldn’t want to leave comments for your husband about attempting to cross-dress in your current condition,” she muttered.

            I wrinkled my nose at her comment.

            “Current condition?” I said. “You make it sound like I’m sick.”

            She huffed.

            “Remember, dear, that while Asuna might have the status and luxury to be whatever gender she wants, you, dear, only have one purpose to serve,” the woman said, pointing at my belly. “I’m not exactly pleased that you convinced her to help you run away from this place to deliver your child, but let me be more to the point.

            “I’m fairly certain the child you ran away to give birth to was Asuna’s.”

            I almost choked on my drink.

            “My daughter was disgustingly taken with you, even though she knew you were bound legally to Sugou,” she continued. “It’s not out there to presume that your little affair was with her.”

            The woman’s husband reached up and placed a hand on her shoulder, shaking his head.

            “Asuna ran away sixth months after meeting Sugou’s wife here,” he said, speaking as though I wasn’t present. “Presuming your statement that they ran away to deliver the child is true, then Asuna couldn’t possibly have been the other person in the affair.”

            She frowned.

            “The only person here who knows when the child was born is its mother,” she huffed. “Even Lord Sugou himself didn’t witness the birth. But my point isn’t to weed out the fact that Asuna is this infidel’s lover; it’s to ask where she might be.”

            I raised my eyebrows. While they clearly didn’t approve of me, they seemed to value my intelligence on where Asuna was. I, naturally, had no idea where she was. It had been a month and a few days since I’d last seen her.

            “You’re asking the wrong person if you want to know where she is,” I said. “I briefly crossed paths with her in Norlangarth.”

            Her mother sat back, appalled at my frankness.

            “Nonsense, I’m certain you ran away with her,” she said.

            Not wanting to continue the conversation, I sat up a little, glanced at the door, and then forced myself to stand up. She gave me an incredulous look, clearly offended that I was deeming to leave in the middle of this conversation. I did my best not to give her a smirk when I delivered my excuse.

            “Sorry, I think I need to go lay down,” I said, rubbing my abdomen for emphasis.

            She instantly snapped her mouth shut, unable to argue with me. Claiming I was lying might be in poor taste. Sighing, I pushed back the chair and left the table, being sure to snatch a roll as I left. Several heads turned in my direction as I exited the room. I ignored them and headed outside to go and sit at the bench Sachi had pointed out to me a week or so ago.

            The night air was chilly. A small part of me regretted not having another layer on. I sat down on the bench and stared up at the stars. Somewhere, Eugeo probably was looking up at those same stars from a different angle. Frowning, I turned my gaze to my belly.

            “Choosing to lose my memory and start over didn’t really do much to fix my life, did it?” I muttered to no one in particular.

            I let my head hand back and closed my eyes, groaning.

            “You lived, didn’t you?”

            I practically leapt off of the bench. I tripped over the bottom of my dress and fell backwards onto my backside. Sitting on the bench right next to where I’d been was an odd-looking man, sitting with one leg crossed over his other knee. For the briefest of moments, I sat in confusion, staring at this man and wondering where he came from. But his face was familiar, something I’d recently seen somewhere. I raised my eyebrows.

            “Vector?” I asked.

            The man laughed and clapped his hands.

            “I can’t tell if you remember or if you’re just that good at guessing, kid,” he said, uncrossing his leg and leaning forward. “How come every time I come to check on you, you’re knocked up? You look like you’ve swallowed a melon whole.”

            I knit my brow together in frustration.

            “Well aren’t you rude?” I grumbled.

            Vector laughed again.

            “Hey, I’m not the one who can’t keep his legs crossed here,” he said, pointing at me. “But that brings me to my point.”

            Awkwardly standing back up to my feet, I placed my hands on my hips and gave him a serious glare.

            “If you’re here to kill my kid again, no thanks,” I said.

            His eyebrows shot upwards.

            “Oh, so you remembered?” he said. “You really are something.”

            I didn’t give him the satisfaction of reacting to that jab.

            “I have to live with the fact that I agreed to kill her baby,” I said. “I’m not doing that again. I’d honestly rather just die. Because if I do, then I won’t have to deliver the news to her that I’m the monster that killed her child.”

            Vector waved his finger at me.

            “You saved yourself,” he said. “That’s not the same as actively murdering a baby. Besides, that _thing_ you two made was sucking the life out of you. But I’m not here to hurt your baby, Kazuto. I’m here to finally explain why I keep you alive.”

            I waved an arm to cut him off.

            “W-wait a second—!” I said.

            He didn’t. He kept plowing forward, not caring if I wanted to clarify what he’d just said.

            “I have a job for you, Kazuto,” he said. “And quite frankly, you’re in no condition to be carrying it out at the moment, but I need you to keep note of this job for after you’ve delivered. I’ll even be an understanding father and let you have a little break after that; take care of your little one and make sure its able to be cared for by someone other than you, and then carry out this task.”

            Vector stood up and stepped closer to me. I took half a step backwards. He grasped my righthand wrist in his hand, lifting it up so that my palm faced upwards. Reaching into his robe, he removed a small, black-bladed dagger, and rested it in my palm. I stared down at the obsidian material and swallowed.

            “This would have been so much easier had you not jogged your memory,” Vector said, sighing. “I need you to kill the vessel of Stacia.”

            I looked up at him in confusion.

            “I’m sure you’re well aware, but we gods don’t have bodies like you humans do,” he said. “This body you see now is the body of some man once called Gabriel—but who he was is of little importance. We use the bodies of humans as vessels to interact with this world. It’s how I created you, of course. I need the vessel that is suited for Stacia to be killed.”

            My heart raced. I didn’t want to kill anyone. But for some reason, I couldn’t just tell him that.

            “I don’t know who that is,” I said, hoping that would buy me time to think of a better excuse.

            Vector shifted uneasily.

            “That was originally the hope,” he said. “But it seems I have no choice but to tell you. As the direct opponent to Stacia, I certainly don’t want her creating more demigods that could be used to fight alongside her against me. Thus, if I eliminate her vessel, as well as any demigods she’s created, I’m at less of a risk. I was prepared to break it to you slowly once before, but I never in my wildest dreams would have anticipated the vessel choosing you as a lover.”

            I felt my knees go weak.

            “My…lover?” I said.

            He nodded.

            “What a troublesome girl, that Asuna,” he muttered.

            I dropped to the ground, staring numbly at the space between Vector’s feet. My first thought had been Eugeo, but Vector meant Asuna. Either way, he’d apparently known this about Asuna before I’d even been with her before. Which meant that his reasoning for erasing my memory hadn’t been completely innocent after all.

            My eyes widened.

            “The baby…” I whispered.

            Vector cocked his head, looking at me funny.

            “What was that?” he asked.

            I slowly lifted my head. I dropped the dagger and subconsciously clutched my belly.

            “Exactly whose child did you kill?” I asked.

            His eyes narrowed to slits. I’d been too perceptive. He turned around, showing me his back. My free hand tightened into a fist against the ground. I could feel my body shaking with anger. I picked up my fist and slammed it into the ground. A wave of energy burst out around me, killing all of the plants within a three-yard radius. Vector cautiously stepped forward, noticing that his clothing below the knee also disintegrated.

            “WHOSE CHILD DID YOU KILL?” I shouted.

            He turned back around, frowning at me.

            “As you suspect, the child whose life I took from within you was, indeed, a child of Stacia,” he said. “Stacia inhabited Asuna’s vessel in order to produce a child with the attributes of two gods, her own through Asuna, and mine through you.”

            I buried my face in my hands, unable to stop myself from letting out a distressed wail. Our child had died for nothing. His lie uncovered, I felt the gravity of the truth weighing so heavily on my heart that I thought it might physically break into pieces. He’d fooled me by giving me a choice. And I’d believed him, cluelessly spilling the blood of an innocent child.

            “You…monster…” I managed in between sobs.

            He stooped down to touch my shoulder. I slapped his hand away.

            “Don’t touch me!” I said, shaking my head.

            I shoved the dagger towards him. It skittered across the cobblestone pathway past him and hit the leg of the bench. I tried to wipe the tears off of my face, but they kept coming. My chest ached from crying so hard.

            “I won’t do it!” I exclaimed. “I refuse to kill her or anyone!”

            Frowning, Vector took my chin in his hand and forced my head upwards to look him in the eyes. His expression felt colder than ice. It didn’t become warmer when his lips curled up into a crooked smile.

            “Oh, yes you will,” he said.

            He pressed his other hand against my belly. I started shaking again. I wanted to yank his hand off of me, but my limbs were frozen by his frigid presence. In the back of my mind, I pleaded with the god holding me still.

            _Please. Anything but that. Please._

            “It would be a shame for you to lose another little one, wouldn’t it, Kazuto?” he said, likely taking pleasure in seeing tears form in my eyes again. “And this time, you’ll get to hold your baby and bond with it before it’s taken from you.”

            I shook my head.

            “No,” I pleaded. “No, please, don’t…”  
            He lifted the dagger using some sort of magic and summoned it back into his hand. He then pressed it against my chest, giving me a stern glare. When I didn’t move to take it from him, he picked up one of my hands and shoved the hilt into my palm.

            “You’ll kill Asuna after you deliver this baby, or it won’t live to its first birthday,” Vector said in a low voice. “Am I clear?”

            Unable to bring myself to provide an argument, I gave a slight nod. Satisfied with the presumed agreement, Vector let go of me and stepped away from me. I pressed one hand to my mouth and stifled another sob. His shoes clacked against the pathway as he walked away from me. They stopped a few feet away.

            “I’ll return to give you a reminder as soon as you’ve given birth,” he said. “I’m a man of my word, Kazuto. I’ll spare the child so long as you do what you’re told to do. After all, you don’t want to carry the guilt for killing _two_ of your children, now do you?”

            I doubled over and wrapped one arm around my belly. He chuckled to himself as he vanished into the night. I sobbed into sleeve of my dress. I tried to pick myself up and head back inside, but I only made it as far as the bench before I crumpled back down onto it, too overcome with sobs to focus on where I was going.

            The faintest sensation of movement within my body startled me. I touched one shaky hand to my belly, blinking down at it. I couldn’t let Vector harm this baby. But I couldn’t kill Asuna, either. Neither of them deserved to die. The baby moved again, almost as if pleading with me to choose it over her. I gently rubbed my belly.

            “What am I supposed to do, Eugeo?” I whispered.

            A strange sense of calm washed over me. He would be here soon, and then I could tell him everything. We would work this out, so that both Asuna and our baby could live without fear of death. I smiled, sighing and stroking my abdomen.

            “Don’t worry,” I said. “I’ll make sure he doesn’t lay a finger on you.”

            _And that’s a promise._


	28. The Cost of Freedom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: All I have to say about this chapter is- I know I'm a dick. I do.

            “Here, it’s the best I can do,” the man said, handing an herbal mixture in a bag to Sachi. “I don’t really know what else to say. There’s nothing wrong with her and isn’t complaining of any pains, so the only thing I can tell you is this—she’s just not ready.”

            Sachi nodded and took the bag from him, casting a wary glance at Sugou and then a concerned one at me. The man turned back to me and frowned at my belly. He sighed and shook his head.

            “You’re sure you don’t feel anything abnormal?” he asked me.

            I nodded.

            “Are you sure you’re far enough along?” he clarified.

            I shared an uneasy glance with Sachi, who told me with her eyes that it was okay. Sugou wouldn’t do anything in the presence of the doctor, especially since mentioning that the baby wasn’t his was strictly off-limits to anyone other than the few servants that knew.

            “I really don’t know,” I said. “I’ve been aware of it for about four months. But my handmaiden says I clearly am further along than that.”

            Sachi stepped in to offer more commentary.

            “These past two months, the change has been rather significant,” she said, being careful not to give Sugou the satisfaction of hearing me be misgendered by her. “With a shirt on two months ago, I could barely tell, and now…well…”

            No one needed to say it. It was obvious that I looked big enough to go into labor. But the baby clearly wasn’t budging. I wasn’t sure how concerned I was. With the threats I kept receiving from Sugou and Vector, it was honestly safer for the kid to stay right where it was. I shrugged and put my hands up. It wasn’t like I could magically make myself give birth.

            “The herbal mixture might help stimulate contractions,” the man said, turning back to Sachi. “But there’s nothing I can do. The baby will come when it’s ready. I’d advise not letting her go very far.”

            Sachi thanked the man for his analysis of the situation and showed him to the door. Sugou remained behind, glaring at me with malice. I didn’t know what he was so upset about. Was he that impatient to know the sex of the baby that the fact that it wouldn’t come bothered him? One of the servants near the bed handed me a piece of fruit. I took it, thanked her, and took a bite out of it.

            “You’ll send a maid to inform me the moment you feel something,” Sugou said, glaring daggers at me.

            “Yeah, yeah,” I said, leaning back and sighing. “But I’m telling you, the only thing I feel is occasionally movement.”

            Sugou narrowed his eyes at me.

            “You’re lying,” he said. “I’m anticipating another clever escape stunt.”

            I raised an eyebrow.

            “Stunt?” I said. “From what I’ve been told, you tried to kill me and a noblewoman saved me from your wrath. What part of that is a stunt?”

            His hands curled up into fists. He couldn’t find the words to argue with me, so he turned on his heel and left the room. As he exited, he bumped against Sachi’s shoulder as she reentered the room. She gave him a look, shook her head, and then handed the bag of herbs to another servant and asked her to brew them into a tea.

            Sachi came over to my bedside and sat down next to me, giving me a soft smile. She reached out and cupped my cheek in her hand.

            “We’ll see if those herbs do anything for you,” she said, sighing. “But other than that, you’re just going to have to be patient and wait right here. I’m sure it’ll be soon, okay? So, just relax for me. I’ll keep you company.”

            “I can’t leave the bed at _all_?” I said.

            She laughed and shook her head.

            “I don’t want to drag you back in here from the garden because you’re reckless,” she said. “And don’t try that ‘I’ll tell you when I think it’s going to happen’ nonsense you tried to pull last time. You started having labor pains in the marketplace and I had to drag you back here.”

            I found myself chuckling at the mental image that called up. That sounded like something I’d do. Sighing, I leaned back and finally let myself relax. I rested one hand against my belly. Sachi frowned and placed her hand atop my abdomen. The baby started moving as if excited. I laughed a little harder than I meant to.

            “What’s so funny?” Sachi asked.

            I shook my head.

            “You’d think the familiarity of this all would jog my memory a little, but it doesn’t,” I said. “It feels new to me. Even though everyone keeps telling me I’ve carried a baby before, I don’t remember what that felt like. Isn’t that weird?”

            Sachi smiled, leaned over, and wrapped her arms around me in an embrace. She let go, ruffled my hair a little, and then stood up. Her eyes hinted at excitement. The door to the room opened, and Keita walked in.

            “I’ve got something to take your mind off of things,” she said.

            Keita approached the bedside and held out something long and covered in cloth. He seemed to have trouble holding it up, so he set it down next to me. They both motioned for me to look at it. I awkwardly sat up and leaned over, holding my belly with one hand as I reached over to unwrap the object in cloth. My heart fluttered when I saw the glinting black surface.

            “My sword…” I said.

            They nodded.

            “I finally found it,” Keita said. “Sachi and I figured it would be of better use to you actually in your possession that stored away in Sugou’s vault. Oh, and, uh, also…I found something else down there that’s much less pleasant. You need to go in person.”

            I wanted to ask him about this other thing, but he turned and bolted out of the room suddenly. Sachi, concerned about his sudden disappearance, rushed to the door and looked outside to the left and right, trying to see which way Keita had run. A loud thud and clanking sounded in the hallway. Sachi screamed and rushed back into the room, trying to shut the door behind herself.

            A foot stopped the door from closing all of the way.

            “I knew you rotten servants were helping her escape!” Sugou shouted through the door.

            He shoved an arm through the gap he’d made. In his hand was a sword stained with fresh blood. I felt my stomach drop. I numbly pushed myself to the side of the bed, grasping the hilt of my sword in my right hand. Sachi glanced up and saw what I was doing.

            “Kazuto, don’t!” she cried.

            I hesitated halfway between standing and sitting. Her cry gave enough of a pause so that Sugou could throw open the door. She fell to the ground, and before I had a chance to react, his sword was buried just below her ribcage. Sachi’s eyes rolled in my direction, wide with shock from being impaled. Sugou yanked his sword out of her torso and huffed indignantly.

            “That’ll teach the maids to help my heir escape,” Sugou muttered.

            I couldn’t listen to Sachi anymore. Ignoring the fact that my body begged me to let it rest, I practically tore my sword out of its sheath and threw myself at Sugou, screaming at the top of my lungs. He turned his head in my direction, clearly not having anticipated that I’d attack him or even had the means to do so.

            “YOU BASTARD!” I shouted.

            As I leapt at Sugou, I cleanly brought the sword full swing and kept my momentum going as it came in contact with his exposed neck. The blade easily severed his throat. His face froze into an expression of horror and his mouth remained open, unable to release the scream that should have followed.

            Sugou’s head toppled to the floor and rolled into the hallway, no longer attached to his body. The body itself wavered slightly before falling over. Blood spurted from the headless neck, spraying on whatever happened to be nearby. I instantly felt weak from trying to push my body to its usual limits and dropped to my knees.

            “You…idiot…”

            I crawled over to Sachi and picked her up. I cradled her against me and fought the angry tears that threatened to fall.

            “Stay with me…” I pleaded. “I’ll find a healer, stay with me…”

            Sachi shook her head.

            “You need to…run…” she said, looking at the doorway behind me. “You killed…a nobleman…Integrity Knights…will…”

            I shook my head.

            “Don’t speak, I’ll get you out of here,” I said. “You’re gonna be okay. I promise you’ll be fine, I’ll do whatever it takes, just don’t close your eyes or make me leave you here!”

            To make my point, I attempted to pick Sachi up while still holding the sword. I dragged both a few feet, enough to get us out of the door. I glanced behind myself to see if anyone was in the hallway. All that was there was Keita’s limp body. I scrunched my shoulders up and let out a sob.

            “Kazuto…run…” Sachi pleaded quietly.

            Looking down at her, I saw the bloodstain on the floor from where I’d dragged her. It soaked her front and back. I tried to pull her another few feet and ended up dropping my sword. I used some of the fabric of my clothing to tie the sword to my person so I could try to carry Sachi.

            Lifting her was difficult and put a lot of strain on my body. I managed to get her onto my back, which was easier for moving, but still hurt like hell. A few frantic servants passed by me, not bothering to ask me any questions. I still wasn’t sure how many of them were on my side and how many remained loyal to Sugou, but someone certainly would be reporting Sugou’s murder. I tried not to think about it as I carried Sachi towards the front exit.

            “Kazuto…?” Sachi murmured.

            I turned my head to hers, which rested limply on my shoulder.

            “We’re almost outside,” I told her. “Then I’ll go into the village and find someone who knows enough sacred arts to heal you. I promise. Just hang on, Sachi.”

            Her breathing was so quiet I couldn’t hear it.

            “Thank you,” she whispered.

            I almost stopped walking.

            “What for?” I asked.

            She didn’t respond. I drew in a sharp breath. I’d told her not to talk. It was alright. I managed to turn the corner and walk through the door to the outside. Sunlight blinded me momentarily. I shakily made my way down the steps halfway before tripping over my own foot and sending us both tumbling towards the ground. I picked myself up and checked on Sachi. She wasn’t moving.

            “S-Sachi?” I stammered.

            I shook her shoulder. Her eyes were closed.

            “Sachi, answer me!” I cried.

            Nothing. I shook her a little more, hoping that she’d rouse and blink at me. When nothing happened, I choked up, preparing myself to check her pulse. As I leaned over, a hand grasped my shoulder from behind. I thrust myself upright, tearing the sword from where I’d tied it to my dress, and whirled around to attack whomever had touched me. As I spun around, I felt my wrist connect with a hand. I was staring into alarmed green eyes.

            “Easy, buddy. It’s me. It’s Eugeo.”

            Too shocked for words, I dropped the sword without even trying to reclaim my wrist. It clattered on the cobblestone, filling the otherwise silent garden area with an uncomfortable din. Eugeo looked me up and down, knitting his brow. His eyes were brimming with tears. He wrapped his arms around me gently and kissed my head.

            “What sort of mess have you caused this time, Kazuto?” he asked, his voice cracking a little.

            Over his shoulder, I saw Asuna, who was staring at me in shock. When Eugeo let go of me, I dropped back to the ground and shakily reached over to Sachi. She still wasn’t moving. I pressed my fingers to her neck and held my breath. Eugeo crouched down beside me. He placed a hand on my back.

            “So?” he asked softly.

            Biting my lip, I shook my head. There was no pulse. Eugeo gave me a hug and helped me stand up. He told me I didn’t have to explain anything until I calmed down. I drew in a deep breath, nodded, and then grasped his shirt and pulled him to me, kissing him. Between the stress of a friend dying so suddenly, the past two months of hell with Sugou, the fact that I’d murdered Sugou so suddenly, and everything with Vector, I honestly needed that kiss. I pulled away and crumpled a little, wailing into my palms.

            “Hey, Kazuto,” Asuna said, cautiously approaching me. “We’re going to take you two somewhere safe, okay?”

            I lifted my face out of my now tear-soaked hands and stared at her calm expression. My heart felt like it was being ripped in half. I reached out to her with a shaky hand. She took my hand, tilting her head and giving me a curious glance. I had to tell her.

            “I’m sorry, Asuna…” I sobbed. “I’m sorry…”

            She and Eugeo shared a confused look. She rubbed my hand and gently touched her fingers to my cheek.

            “Hey, what’s wrong?” she asked.

            I couldn’t bear to look at her any longer. I lowered my head and shut my eyes.

            “I’m sorry…” I said again. “The baby…I’m so…I’m so sorry…”

            I felt her let go of my hand. Her shoes scuffed the ground as she stepped back.

            “It…it’s not your fault,” she tried to tell me.

            There was still hurt in her voice. She at least understood that her baby was gone. But she didn’t quite understand me. She thought I blamed myself for miscarrying, which would have been a lot easier to break to her. I dropped back down to the ground and choked on a sob. The two didn’t know what to do with me. I took a deep breath and forced the truth out.

            “I’m the one…who killed your baby,” I said, fighting the urge to cry harder. “It’s my fault…I asked Vector to kill the baby…to save my own life…”

            Silence. The only noise I could hear was the awful sound of myself crying for a breath, and then I heard Asuna fall to the ground. I dared to open my eyes and look in her direction. Her hands were pressed to her mouth, her shoulders were shaking, and she shook her head back and forth, as if in disbelief.

            “No…you wouldn’t!” she cried. “I don’t believe you! You wouldn’t do that to our baby!”

            Eugeo stepped in between us.

            “L-look, we can settle this back in the inn, okay?” he said. “There’s guards running around, so I presume whatever Kazuto did will be worthy of calling the authorities. Come on, up we go.”

            Eugeo slipped his arms around me and pulled me upright. He snatched up my sword and held it out to Asuna. She forced herself to stand, numbly took the sword, and brusquely walked away without saying a word. Eugeo kept one arm around me as we followed.

            I didn’t say another word, either, as I left the dreadful estate behind me. All I could think about was how Asuna would speak to me later once she finally came around to believing the truth.


	29. Love Is Never Forgotten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, a bit of a break from the insanity, so to speak. If you're worried that since he's left the estate I won't address that "something Keita found in the basement" issue, don't worry, this is just a bit of a filler so I'm not piling on the hurt. If this makes you cry, I hope it is a happy cry. A bit of calm before the storm.

            Eugeo brought me to an inn and walked me over to the bed to sit down. He gave me space to just sit and cry it all out. After I calmed myself down, he helped to change me into a clean pair of pants and shirt, and then he sat me back down again on the bed. He sat down beside me, taking my hand in his.

            I told him about what had happened, starting back with the threats Sugou gave and going all the way up to the incident from earlier. I mentioned that Sugou wanted to kill him as well, to which Eugeo awkwardly laughed and reminded me that he couldn’t do so without a head. He stroked my head, sighing.

            “I won’t blame you if you want to take a nap after all of that stress,” he said.

            Instead of responding, I turned to him and frowned. He was sitting all the way up on the bed. I climbed into his lap and dropped forward, face-first into his shoulder. I didn’t exactly fit like I wanted to. My belly took up most of the space. I sighed. I gave in and rested all of my weight against him. He shifted back a little, likely having not been prepared.

            “Or…you can nap on me, I guess,” he said.

            He rubbed my back for a moment and then slowly reached down and touched the side of my belly. It must have been weird to him. It had been barely obvious when he last saw me, and now it was impossible to ignore it. I lifted my head up and turned it just enough to kiss his cheek. His pale skin flushed red. I laughed.

            “Is it too weird?” I asked him.

            Eugeo stared down between us. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. He cupped the sides of my belly in his hands. It was as if he were trying to convince himself this was really happening. I ran my fingers through his hair, leaned over, and kissed his head.

            “I’m a dad,” he said quietly.

            I laughed again and ruffled his hair.

            “Pretty soon, by the looks of it, huh?” I said.

            He nodded. He slowly pulled my shirt up. I made a face, curious as to what he was doing. His cold fingers ran over my bare skin. Eugeo shook his head. He bent over and lightly pressed his lips to my belly. As if on cue, the baby decided to move around excitedly. Eugeo must have felt the movement; he looked rather surprised. I clutched my belly and shifted my weight.

            “Yeah, I know, your other dad is here,” I said, staring down at the bulge of my midsection.

            Eugeo gave me a curious look.

            “Are you…talking to it?” he asked.

            I felt my cheeks burning, but I defended myself nonetheless.

            “It’s not weird!” I said. “Sachi talked to the baby, too!”

            Mentioning Sachi made my stomach drop. Perhaps in an effort to distract me, Eugeo took my face in his hands and kissed me. The painful thought melted momentarily from my mind. All I could focus on was his body pressed against mine. When he pulled away, I returned his kiss with a more passionate one. I wrapped my arms around him tightly.

            “I missed you,” I said, my voice cracking a bit.

            He returned my embrace.

            “I missed you, too,” he said.

            The sound of someone knocking on the door startled us both. We quickly separated. Eugeo looked at the door first and told whoever it was that they could come in. I lifted my gaze and saw an unfamiliar girl with short black hair opening the door. The moment she set her eyes on me, she gasped and ran forward, but as soon as my confusion reached her, she paused.

            “Kazuto, what’s wrong?” she asked.

            I frowned at her. She clearly knew who I was. I looked to Eugeo for help. He bit his lip, stood up, and walked over to place a hand on the girl’s shoulder. She frowned. He took a deep breath and motioned to me.

            “He lost his memory,” Eugeo said. “I’m sorry; we forgot to mention that.”

            Her face scrunched up as if she were about to cry. I awkwardly stood up to approach her and apologize. I hoped that she wasn’t another former lover who’d come to express her discontent with me. Her expression changed as soon as I stood up; her eyes dropped down to my midsection. She placed one hand over her mouth.

            “Oh my gods, big brother,” she said. “You two didn’t mention anything about this!”

            She stepped closer to me and placed her hands on the sides of my belly.

            “Um…” I said.

            She laughed.

            “How many kids do you plan on having, silly?” she asked, wrapping her arms around me in a tight embrace. “Goodness, you’re so big you’re hard to hug. Should you even be standing up? Oh, it should be fine. We were so worried. But you look safe and healthy!”

            The girl finally released me and stepped back, smiling. Even though I had no idea who she was, that didn’t seem to bother her too much. She was just happy to know I was okay. She nodded to herself and eyeballed my stomach again. Leaning over, she gave it a gentle pat.

            “ _Very_ healthy,” she said.

            Eugeo couldn’t help himself and covered his mouth when he let out an amused snort.

            “Would either of you _please_ remind me of who’s talking to me?” I said.

            I didn’t want to sound mean, but it felt even ruder to not know how to address this person. The girl straightened up, placed her hand on my shoulder, and gave me a reassuring smile. She squeezed my shoulder.

            “Your sister, Suguha,” she said, pointing to herself. “You don’t even remember your own sister?”

            Apologetically smiling, I shook my head.

            “It’s getting really frustrating not remembering faces,” I said.

            Suguha glanced at the door behind her and frowned.

            “I brought Yui here,” she said.

            At least I knew about Yui from Asuna. She must have felt relieved when I raised my eyebrows in recognition of the name. Suguha perked up a little. From the corner of my eye, I saw Eugeo shift uneasily. Suguha noticed his movement as well and leaned towards me, lowering her voice.

            “For two reasons, really,” she said. “She really misses you and…I thought…he might want to meet his kid.”

            I stared across the room at Eugeo. He wouldn’t look at either of us. I couldn’t imagine how he felt. After five years, he was finally able to meet a child he’d had no idea he’d fathered. Frowning, I looked back at Suguha.

            “How easily can we explain this to her?” I asked.

            Suguha smiled.

            “Don’t worry,” she said. “You’ve told her before. And she’s a smart girl. A bit nervous, meeting her other dad, I think, but I’m sure she’ll warm up to him. If anything, it’ll be much harder for her if your memory’s gone. Still, I think she can handle it.”

            She gently grasped my shoulder and pushed me back a few steps.

            “How about you sit down, though,” Suguha said. “Your poor legs are going to give out if you keep standing there.”

            It was pretty easy to see how she was my sister. I frowned at her and crossed my arms over my chest. She laughed and leaned over to give me another hug. This time, I hugged her back. She squeezed a little tighter before letting go.

            “Let me go get your little girl, okay?” she said.

            I gave her a numb nod and watched her close the door behind her. For some reason, I felt butterflies in my stomach. I clutched my belly, silently pleading for the feeling to go away. There was no reason to be nervous. Eugeo came back over to the bed, sat down, and wrapped his arm around me.

            “What’s wrong?” he asked.

            Dropping my gaze, I stared at my hand pressed against my middle and frowned.

            “She’s my kid, but I don’t remember her at all,” I said quietly. “I carried her just like this, I brought her into the world, I held her, I named her, I raised her…and yet, I don’t remember any of that. I feel horrible. Of all of the things to forget, this feels like the worst possible thing to forget.”

            Eugeo leaned his head against mine as he gently rubbed my arm.

            “It’ll come back to you,” he told me. “I’m sure of it.”

            At first, I just took his words as something kind to ease my discomfort. But when Suguha returned with Yui and I saw her for the first time in well over a year, I nearly threw myself off of the bed. I stared at her numbly, sitting on my knees on the floor. She ran over to me and wrapped her arms around me, clinging to me as if letting go would make me vanish again.

            “Papa!” she cried.

            I held her against me and kissed her. Unable to control my emotions, I started sobbing on the spot. Of course, Yui started crying as well. Suguha and Eugeo must have been at a loss, so they stayed back silently, allowing us to have our embrace. When she finally let go of me, she gazed up at me with eyes wet from tears. I gently brushed them off of her cheeks.

            “Papa, why are you crying?” she asked.

            Forcing a smile, I shook my head.

            “I’m just…I missed you…so much…” I managed. “And I remember…I…”

            Suguha walked over to Eugeo and elbowed him in the side. He jumped a little. She motioned for him to get down on the floor, too, which he did rather awkwardly. I took a deep breath and glanced over at him. My nervousness from earlier didn’t even compare to how anxious he looked in that moment. Yui looked over at him, too. She seemed more curious than shy.

            “Yui, do you recall that I said you had another dad?” I asked.

            She nodded, smiling at me.

            “You and mama told me that she wasn’t really my mama, but I had two dads,” she said, glancing at Eugeo.

            I’d have to presume for now that “mama” referred to Asuna. It was impossible to imagine what Eugeo thought of that terminology, but at least we were both caught up that I’d been with Asuna in between our periods of time together. I was at least grateful that in the past I’d already explained this to Yui. This made things a lot easier.

            I turned myself just enough so that I could see Eugeo and guided Yui over so that they were closer to each other. Both looked equally a bit nervous. A small part of me wanted to laugh, good-naturedly, at this first meeting between father and daughter, but I only allowed myself a smile. Even if I couldn’t remember it, the fluttering of my heart in my chest told me I’d been waiting too long for them to meet.

            “This is your other dad,” I said, placing my free hand on Eugeo’s shoulder.

            He tensed up, not expecting me to touch him.

            “He’s a little nervous,” I told her. “He didn’t know he was a dad until I found him again.”

            Yui locked eyes with Eugeo, which made him tense up even more. He must have felt like he was being appraised. She continued to curiously look at his face for a few seconds, and then she slowly stepped over to him and did something I hadn’t expected at all; she wrapped her arms around his torso and rested her head on his chest.

            “Nice to meet you,” she said softly.

            Eugeo glanced at me for help. I mimed hugging her back. He carefully placed his arms around her and returned the embrace. Yui smiled brightly and snuggled up to him. Eugeo’s cheeks turned pink. He looked back at me and started shaking. I laughed and sat up against him to hug him from the side as well.

            “It’s okay, Eugeo,” I said.

            We probably seemed like such a mess when Eugeo started crying as he held our daughter to his chest. I didn’t feel like a mess, though. I felt relieved. For once, I rested my head on the shoulder of the man I loved, while our daughter sat in his lap. My whole family was finally in one place.

            How nice it would have been if that moment could have lasted forever.


	30. Resentment Locked Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: As promised, here's a little angst. I know I already updated once today but I'm feeling it again. (sigh)

            The remainder of the day passed peacefully, but I told myself that just because Asuna continued to avoid talking to me, it didn’t mean I could avoid telling her the whole truth. At dinner, I finally convinced her to come and speak with me alone, to which she gave me a curt nod of acceptance and offered me not a single word. The others left us alone so that we could talk.

            Asuna refused to face me. I wasn’t sure that I wanted her to face me, truthfully. It was hard enough telling her the information. Looking into her eyes while doing it might have stopped me from explaining everything. So, I drew in a breath, reminded myself that she was, in fact, listening, and told her everything I knew—from the nightmare I’d had to Vector’s admittance that he’d tricked me into allowing him to take the life of our child.

            Through the whole explanation, Asuna kept her back to me, but when I finished, she finally turned around. Her mixed feelings showed on her face. Of course, she was angry with me. I was angry with myself. But that wasn’t the only emotion we had in common; I was certain, without a doubt, that she felt the same heartbreak I did.

            To my surprise, Asuna walked over to me and grasped my shirt tightly in her hands, forming them into tight fists. I expected her to scream and tell me what a horrible person I was, and yet, all she did was gently let her head drop onto my chest before she quietly sobbed into my shirt. Guilt made my stomach turn.

            “Why…why aren’t you angry…?” I asked.

            She shook her head, choking on a sob. Unable to cope with her all-too-gentle response, I pushed her off of me and grasped my hair, staring down at the floor. Asuna held up a hand to me. I took a few steps back. My back hit the wall. I slumped to the floor and curled up into a ball.

            “I don’t understand!” I shouted. “I killed your child! I hurt you!”

            Asuna came over to me, sitting down in front of me. She placed a hand on my knee and squeezed gently.

            “Look at me,” she said.

            I shook my head.

            “Kazuto,” she said. “Please. Look at me.”

            Shakily, I lifted my head and met her gaze. Tears were streaming down her cheeks. How could they not be? Her child would never see the light of day. She reached over and took my head in her hands.

            “Yes, it hurts me,” she said. “It breaks my heart. But I can’t say that if I were in your shoes I would have chosen what I thought was certain death, either. I can’t imagine how it must have felt for you to remember this. You wanted our baby, too. You have just as much of a right to grieve and be angry as I do. But we shouldn’t be angry at you, Kazuto. We should be angry at him.”

            Him. Vector. I hadn’t told her that Vector wanted Asuna herself dead by my hands, nor had I mentioned that he’d kill my unborn child if I didn’t succeed within a year after the baby was independent of me. I hadn’t told her that she was a vessel of Stacia and that the baby wasn’t even technically hers. But even without this knowledge, she understood the horrible truth—Vector wanted to use me to do terrible things and got away with it once already.

            “Besides,” Asuna said, wiping off some of her tears. “You…”

            She touched one hand to my belly.

            “That’s a pain I’ll never understand, Kazuto,” she said.

            I frowned and stared down at her hand. I didn’t want to admit that she was right, but there was no denying it. The image of the blood soaking me when I’d awoken in the forest just outside of Rulid hadn’t left my mind since I’d had that nightmare. The fear of that same fate befalling the child growing inside of me woke me up at night.

            “Don’t try to avoid dealing with your own grieving by having me be angry with you,” she said. “You don’t have to blame yourself for your ignorance. But you do need to accept that you’re also grieving the loss of your baby. You have the right to feel sad. It’s okay.”

            She took both of my hands and helped me back onto my feet. After a brief moment of staring into each other’s eyes, we embraced and cried as we held each other. Before we parted, Asuna whispered into my ear that she forgave me. Then, she quietly told me good night and left the room to go to sleep.

            The next day was spent contemplating how to get out of Centoria without alerting any Integrity Knights. Part of the way through the day, I ended up getting sick for some reason and had to go lay down. I took a nap for the majority of the rest of the day and woke up long after people had gone to bed. I got up, walked around the inn room a few times, went downstairs, talked to the person keeping the night watch, and then casually decided to stroll around outside.

            It wasn’t that I didn’t want to go back to sleep; it was just that there was so much commotion in my belly I felt I _couldn’t_ sleep. So, I just wandered around, hoping that eventually the baby would calm down. After about forty-five minutes of walking, I decided that wasn’t going to happen and chose to follow a train of thought Keita had brought up the other day. I headed in the direction of Sugou’s estate, and by the time I reached the open gate, Eugeo popped up with a lantern in my face.

            “What are you doing?” he asked.

            He looked really sleepy. I’m sure I looked just as tired. I pointed a thumb at the large mansion behind me and frowned.

            “Keita said I needed to check out what’s in the basement,” I said, shrugging. “I can’t sleep, so I’m going to do that.”

            Eugeo groaned and placed a hand on his forehead.

            “Fine, but I’m coming with you,” he said. “Because you’re not armed and you’re not going to be until after the baby comes.”

            I squinted at him, irritated that he hadn’t brought me a sword when he clearly thought it was dangerous. He probably had a point; based on how my body had begged me to drop my sword the other day, I was in no condition to be swinging it around. Sighing, I consented to his accompaniment and made my way down into the basement.

            The basement was somewhere I’d never recalled having been, but I knew the way to, since Sachi liked to explain the layout of the estate to me. The staircase down was a bit narrow and wound down into a dark area. Eugeo took his lantern and shared its fire with some torches along the walls. When the area lit up, I was surprised to see a coffin sitting in the middle of the room

            “Is that his?” Eugeo asked.

            I went over to it and wiped dust off of a plaque on the cover. I shook my head.

            “His coffin wouldn’t be so dusty, for one,” I said, coughing a little at the mess I’d stirred up. “No, the deceased within was called Aoi…”

            Eugeo stepped over towards me.

            “Why’d you trail off?” he asked.

            I swallowed.

            “Her name was Sugou Aoi,” I said. “And she’s listed as his deceased wife.”

            I looked back at Eugeo, who was messing with items on a table. I walked over to him and he handed me a journal. I opened the pages up and started to read. They explained that Aoi was Sugou’s first wife, and that they’d been betrothed to one another at a young age. When they’d finally married, Sugou learned that Aoi had fallen in love with another man, Narusaka Yukito, a lesser noble from a different estate in Eastabarieth.

            “So…you’re the replacement?” Eugeo said, frowning in disgust.

            I read further into the journal. The more I read, the more I was reminded of Vector’s commentary from the other day. The gods used human beings to walk in the human world with them and spread their progeny. From the sounds of it, this Yukito guy seemed like a vessel of the gods; I couldn’t put my finger on why, but he reminded me a lot of Vector.

            But then, I stumbled across the part where Aoi had a child. And the child was clearly Yukito’s; the baby had dark hair and dark eyes. Yukito arrived, then and took the child away from Aoi, declaring himself, as I suspected, to be Vector using the vessel of Narusaka Yukito. He did not mention whether or not he was the father of said child, but the story didn’t stop there.

            Sugou killed Aoi for her infidelity, and later, he killed Yukito for sleeping with her. He kept tabs on their child, making sure he always knew where it was. My stomach turned over as I read further. I set the journal down and placed one hand over my mouth.

            “Hey, are you okay?” Eugeo asked.

            He placed a hand on my back, rubbing it.

            “Eugeo…” I said, glancing back at the coffin. “That’s my mother…”

            His hand immediately dropped. He stared at the coffin and then frowned in horror.

            “Are you telling me your mother was your husband’s deceased wife?” Eugeo asked.

            I nodded.

            “And that’s not the only thing disturbing about this,” I said. “Sugou demanded to marry me because of his resentment towards my mother. He insisted on staying married to me because he essentially wanted to make a statement to my dead mother that he even owned _me_.”

            Eugeo grasped my arm and pulled me towards the exit. He didn’t have to say anything; I knew he simply wanted to separate me from the situation. I numbly followed him up the stairs, through the mansion, and out into the main hall just before the front entrance. I stopped walking and made a face.

            “Come on, let’s go back to the inn,” he said, offering me a hand.

            Dull pain throbbed in my underbelly. I felt panic hit my chest. I clutched my belly and leaned over, glancing up at Eugeo’s outstretched hand. He was giving me a funny look. I awkwardly let out a laugh and took about half a step forward. I opened my mouth to say something, but the only thing that came out didn’t exactly help.

            “Ow,” I said.

            Now Eugeo seemed to panic as well. He took me by the shoulders.

            “Are you…?” he breathed.

            He sat me down there on the floor. I took a deep breath and tried to think, but the panic invaded my headspace. The pain, too, didn’t help me to think clearly about what should be done in this moment. I finally looked at the doorway, frowning, and pointed in the direction of the inn. Eugeo seemed confused.

            “I need to…get back to the inn,” I said.

            Eugeo nodded and helped me back up to my feet. He gave me his hand. I graciously took it as we headed outside. When we reached the courtyard, Eugeo stopped us and put himself in front of me. I groaned and squeezed his hand.

            “What’s wrong?” I asked.

            He didn’t answer. I felt the pain flare up to where it had started again and tightened my grip on his hand. He cast me a worried glance over his shoulder. I told myself I shouldn’t sit back down, but I wanted to. Instead, I stepped to the side to see what had stopped Eugeo. A dragon sat in front of us, and in front of it, a knight stood, leaning on his sword.

            “What incredibly unlucky timing,” I said, laughing more so out of stress than amusement.

            The knight stepped forward and looked between the two of us.

            “For the crime of infidelity and for the crimes of both infidelity and murder, I’ll be taking Eugeo of Rulid Village and Kazuto of Eastern Centoria into custody of the Axiom Church,” the knight said. “Surrender peacefully or you will be executed on the spot.”

            Eugeo’s free hand hovered over his sword. Normally, I would have been all for fighting our way out of this, but it wasn’t just our lives in the knight’s hands at the moment. I tightened my grip on Eugeo’s hand; when he looked back at me, I shook my head. His eyes focused on my belly, understanding what I meant. He dropped his hand.

            The knight stepped forward to retain us, but Eugeo quickly spoke up.

            “Please be careful,” he said, glancing at me. “He’s in labor.”

            There was a pause wherein the knight looked at me and tilted his head. He must have understood what Eugeo wanted, as he gave a curt nod and proceeded to chain Eugeo up. When he was ready to do the same to me, he respectfully asked me if I thought I might make it to the Central Cathedral. I gave him an uncertain nod.

            “Just in case,” he said.

            He raised his hand up to my face, chanted something in the sacred language, and my vision went black.


	31. The Captives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Your guess is as good as mine how long this trainwreck will continue on for. Having just recently gotten to Vector's plans...I'm on chapter 31 of a fic never intended to be more than a one-shot and I'm still rolling. What even.

            When I finally opened my eyes, I didn’t immediately recognize who was staring down at me. I squinted up at them, trying to rack my brain for a name, but nothing came to mind. My next move was to ask who they were, when it suddenly struck me. I bolted upright, slamming my head right into the forehead bent over mine.

            “Owwww…” I groaned, grasping my forehead.

            The other person had stepped back and was holding their head as well.

            “Jeez, I wasn’t expecting you to bolt up like that at all.”

            I got a better look at the person next to me. Long dark hair, skin close to mine in tone, and ruby-colored eyes. Their outfit was immediately recognizable. I raised my eyebrows. I certainly didn’t think I knew this person, but I knew where they were from.

            “You’re a student from the Swordcraft Academy,” I said.

            There was a slight nod.

            “Yeah, I was. Name’s Yuuki; I’m the sister of Aiko, another student there.”

            I blinked. I didn’t know either of those names. It sounded like she presumed I might, since I knew of the academy. When I didn’t respond, she shrugged and sat down on a bed behind her. I noticed her right wrist had a shackle on it. That shackle was chained to the wall.

            Frowning, I glanced at my own right wrist. It was the same. I followed the chain up to where it connected to the wall. I tugged at the chain a little before stopping and thinking again. Hadn’t I felt like I’d been in labor before I ended up here? I stared down at my belly. No pain, no nothing. I sighed in slight relief.

            “False alarm, I guess…” I said.

            Yuuki raised her eyebrows at me and smiled.

            “I think I can guess why _you_ ended up in here,” she said, giggling.

            It wasn’t as amusing to me as it was to her.

            “Let me guess—it’s pretty obvious?” I said, rolling my eyes.

            She moved right past that, changing the topic.

            “What’s your name?” she asked.

            I sighed again and turned so that my feet could touch the floor. My shift in weight must’ve upset the baby. I felt it kick at my ribs in protest. Hoping to calm the small riot in my belly, I leaned back. Yuuki watched with a curious expression as the baby readjusted its position. Ignoring her staring, I answered her question.

            “It’s Kazuto,” I said.

            For a brief moment, she seemed surprised to hear a boy’s name, but she didn’t question it. She kicked her feet back and forth, still smiling at me. I frowned at her. For someone chained up to a wall, she didn’t seem too bothered by it.

            “Why…why are _you_ in here?” I asked.

            Her smile turned into an impish grin.

            “I might have accidentally broken something and had no means to pay for it,” she said, laughing.

            Even if the jailing was a bit harsh for her crime, it still didn’t seem like a laughing matter to me. Funny to her or not, though, it seemed unjust to punish her with little more than an IOU for that. My thoughts on the Taboo Index, of course, were pretty clear from my presence here. I stared out of the cell we were in and sighed.

            “Hey, weird question, but can I feel your belly?”

            I turned and gave Yuuki a weird look.

            “What? Why?” I asked.

            She twiddled her thumbs.

            “Oh, you know,” she said. “I never had any younger siblings. And my sister’s the same age as me, so she hasn’t had any kids. And I haven’t had any friends who’ve had kids…and my aunts all had their kids before me…”

            Groaning, I waved my hand a little.

            “Your point, Yuuki?” I said.

            She perked up.

            “As silly as it might seem to you, I’ve never felt a baby move before…” she said, trailing off.

            Sighing, I thought about it. It was one thing when Eugeo did it. Having this stranger I was jailed with want to touch me came across wrong. Still, it wasn’t like she meant any harm. She had an almost pleading look on her face.

            “Fine,” I said.

            Yuuki practically sprung off of the bed to come and kneel down in front of me. She gently pressed her hands on the front of my belly and waited. When the baby finally kicked, her face lit up in amazement.

            “Say, did they bring anyone in here with me?” I asked.

            Not caring to remove her hands, Yuuki looked up at me and frowned.

            “You mean the blond guy?” she asked.

            I nodded.

            “He was in here, briefly,” she said. “You were out for a while. The Integrity Knight who arrested you both apparently put you to sleep because you had complained of labor pains. Your friend—who, based on how worried he was, I presume is the father—stayed in here for a couple of hours hoping when you woke up he’d be here for you, but the knights came and took him away.”

            So, Eugeo had been here.

            “Where would they take him?” I asked.

            Yuuki shrugged.

            “Something about a candidate for a synthesis ritual,” she said. “Which I know a _little_ about. They’ve taken me a couple of times and apparently tried to do it. They discussed whether or not you’d be a candidate, but one ruled you out because you’re expecting.”

            I didn’t know a single thing about this synthesis whatever. But I did know based on her statement that this meant they’d return Eugeo at some point. All I had to do was simply wait for him to come back, so we could discuss things. For now, though, I was stuck here with Yuuki until further notice.

            “You know, they’ll probably move you if you do spit out a baby,” Yuuki said, giving me a playful poke.

            I rubbed the spot where she poked me.

            “Are you implying I need to somehow convince my body to go into labor just so I can get out and move around?” I asked.

            She shook her head.

            “No, but not everyone taken away for the synthesis ritual comes back,” she said. “I come back because I’m very resistant to the process. Your boyfriend or whoever might not be as resistant as I am.”

            Sitting forward, I gave her a skeptical look.

            “What makes you think he’s any less resistant than you?” I asked.

            Yuuki shrugged.

            “I don’t,” she said. “But out of all of the prisoners that come and go in the Central Cathedral, I’ve been coming and going the most. I’ve simply set myself as an extreme case where many others perhaps take between one and four attempts.”

            I had nothing else to base an argument off of. She’d been here, so her word was all I had. I could certainly hope that Eugeo would prove resistant and return to me. Yuuki offered her experience to keep me from getting my hopes up. She took one hand off of my belly and grasped my fingers, squeezing them.

            “Hey,” she said. “I’m sorry.”

            Her apology didn’t make sense for a moment, but then I noticed my face was wet. I touched my cheek. It was too early to cry, and yet my body was several steps ahead of my mind. Yuuki rubbed her fingers against the back of my hand.

            It wasn’t fair. I’d made a mistake that separated us for two months, assuming I could protect him. Yet here we were. Here I was. Waiting for a punishment that would be delayed only because the church didn’t feel the need to punish our baby as well. I couldn’t even be by his side as he paid for a crime that was equally my fault.

            “I wish I could tell you that your little family would be okay,” Yuuki said, frowning down at my abdomen. “But the truth of the matter is that you might never see your beloved again. And they’ll likely take your baby away to be raised by the church.”

            I shook my head.

            “Kazuto, I’m not trying to be mean, I’m just trying to tell you the truth,” Yuuki said. “The only way out of here is their way out. And even that isn’t worth it.”

            I shook my head again.

            “No,” I said. “I won’t let it end like this.”

            She looked back up at me, concerned.

            “We’re going to break out of here and find Eugeo,” I said.

            Yuuki laughed, as if I’d said something crazy.

            “Couple of points I’d like to make here,” she said. “One: I’ve tried that. It’s not as easy as it looks. Two: you look like you’re about to pop; you will most definitely slow us down.”

            I held up the hand bearing the shackle.

            “Leave getting these off to me,” I said. “We’ll fake that we’re still attached to them after I take a link out of the chain.”

            She shook her head.

            “You’re going to what now?”

            I kept going, pointing at my stomach now.

            “The only difficult part of this is that we need the cell door opened,” I said. “I’m not sure if I can open it myself, I’ve only barely activated magic once or twice since I had my memory wiped. So, we’re going to need to convince a guard to open up the door.”

            Yuuki crossed her arms.

            “And what makes you think they’d just open the door?” she asked.

            I kept motioning at my stomach.

            “Oh, you have _got_ to be joking,” she said. “Are you that good of an actor?”

            I shrugged.

            “Look, it can’t be that hard, I’ve felt contractions before,” I said. “If I’m convincing enough, like you said, they’ll probably come to remove me to take care of the ugly job of separating me from the baby so they can give me my capital punishment or whatever.”

            Yuuki stared at me, unsure of whether or not she liked this idea. She sat there, studying me with a difficult to read gaze. Her head tilted to the left, and then back to the right. She worked her jaw around in her mouth, scrunched up her lips, and then she sprung upwards into a standing position.

            Smirking, she held out her shackled wrist to me, dangling the chain in front of my face.

            “You better really sell it, boy,” she said.

            I reached up and took the chain in my hands, smiling back at her. I pressed my fingers to one of the individual links and focused on using magic to turn it into dust. When the chain finally fell limp, Yuuki looked at me, shocked, and caught the limp end of the chain before it could make a lot of racket. I repeated the action with my own chain.

            “It’s jailbreak time,” Yuuki said, grinning.

            I gave her a confident nod.

            “My turn to come for you, Eugeo,” I said.


	32. Jailbreak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: A short chapter and as a note, I ran it past a friend who is now beyond pissed. Jeez, what'd I do?

            The guard that bolted over to our cell was fumbling with his keys, searching for the proper key to get the door open. Yuuki proved to be a pretty good actress herself; she genuinely seemed panicked over my cries of pain. The guard finally yanked the door open and came over to my side, grasping me by the arm.

            “The pontifex instructed me to remove you to a more secure location if you went into labor,” he said. “Can you stand?”

            I bit my lip, shut my eyes tightly, and shook my head. He tried to pull me up to my feet, but I wailed, clutched my belly, and let myself drop to the ground. The guard grumbled and knelt down to help me back up. I had to resist smirking. With his back to Yuuki, he couldn’t see that she was preparing to knock him out. He saw my right hand wasn’t properly chained up.

            “Wait a second—” he said, but was cut short.

            Yuuki’s boot slammed into his temple with a sickening crack. The man slumped forward. I caught him and shoved him to my right so that he didn’t land on top of me. Yuuki bent over and snatched the keyring off of his belt, giving me a pleased grin as she did so. She offered me a hand.

            “That was pretty convincing,” she said. “It’s almost as if…”

            Her grin melted when she saw that I wasn’t taking her hand, but rather still had my hands pressed against my belly. She knelt down in front of me and frowned. Worry filled her eyes. Yuuki stared down at my abdomen.

            “Is it time?” she asked softly.

            If I was to be honest with her, I had no idea. Last night, it had been a false alarm. But I couldn’t think of a way to tell the difference. I’d only been in labor once before and I certainly couldn’t remember that. Not wanting to hold Yuuki up, I tried to stand up. My legs were shaking. Was it fear or pain? In the moment, I couldn’t tell.

            “Whoa, easy,” she said.

            She picked me up from under my arms and then wrapped one of my arms across her shoulders. Yuuki glanced outside of the cell, making sure to check for more guards. We slowly made our way out of our cell and started down the hallway. She checked the area as well as glancing back at me often as we walked.

            “You tell me if you think we’re not going to make it out,” she said. “I’m going to find an exit as quickly as possible so you don’t have to deliver your baby in here, okay? Just let me know if that’s not going to happen.”

            I stopped walking, holding her back for a moment.

            “But, Eugeo…” I murmured.

            Yuuki’s strength was too much for me in the moment. She was able to force me to walk ahead.

            “I swear to you I will come back for your boyfriend,” Yuuki said, her voice serious. “But if your baby is born in here, it’ll never leave. Do you want that?”

            She placed one hand on my belly and locked eyes with me. I shook my head. I stopped resisting her pull and let her guide me along the hallways. We couldn’t go very fast, since she couldn’t convince me to walk very fast. We finally stopped in a large, open room. Yuuki leaned me against the wall and told me not to sit down.

            “I’m going to check and see if those doors over there are a good exit point from the cathedral,” she said, pointing on the far side of the room.

            I simply nodded as she dashed off. My body felt heavy as soon as I returned my focus to it. I kept one hand under my belly. Another contraction caused me to bend over and clench my teeth. Trying to keep my breathing slow, I stared down at myself.

            “Please,” I said. “Please don’t come without your dad here.”

            Turning my head in the direction Yuuki was almost to the doorway. I hoped she had a plan for avoiding Integrity Knights once we exited the cathedral. I had no doubts that they would still drag us back even if I were in labor. I took a deep breath and watched her back.

            “Please be an exit,” I quietly pleaded.

            The sound of chain main clinking sounded from behind me. I tensed up and slowly turned my head to see who might be standing in the hallway we’d just come from. My heart leapt into my mouth as soon as saw. Flaxen hair. Green eyes.

            “Eu…Eugeo…?” I asked more than stated.

            I walked over to him slowly. His face seemed blank, somehow. He didn’t react in any way as I approached him. I should have listened to the small, cautious voice inside of me telling me something wasn’t right. When we’d been arrested, Eugeo hadn’t worn any armor, and yet now he wore a full suit of it. But I lifted my hands and took his face in them, tearing up.

            “Eugeo, where did they take you?” I asked.

            He remained silent.

            “Is…something wrong?” I asked.

            I ran my hands down his neck and then wrapped my arms around him. He didn’t make a move to return the hug. I clutched him tightly. The logical side of my brain was all but shut off. My emotions flooded out.

            “Eugeo, say something!” I exclaimed.

            A panicked voice hit my ears. It wasn’t Eugeo’s. It was Yuuki’s.

            “Kazuto, get away from him!” she screamed. “KAZUTO!”

            I felt the pain before I realized what had happened. At first, Yuuki was screaming, and then her voice cut out. Refusing to accept the truth my senses told me, I pulled my head back just enough to see Eugeo’s cold, unmoved eyes. As I choked on a sob, I leaned forward, kissed him lightly on the lips, and then staggered backwards.

            “KAZUTO!”

            Numbly, I looked down at my body. My vision started to get blurry. Half of Eugeo’s sword poked out of the soft flesh of my side, just under my belly. His fingers were still tightly grasping the hilt. Blood dripped off of myself and the sword, splattering on the marble floor. I slowly lifted my eyes to Eugeo.

            Suddenly, those green irises were full of life again. And horror. He saw his hand holding the very sword piercing my side. I could see Yuuki sprinting towards us out of the corner of my eye. I gave Eugeo a weak smile.

            “There you are…” I said.

            Eugeo unfroze.

            “KAZUTO!” he shouted.

            The strength left my body. My knees buckled under my weight as I slumped to the floor. Eugeo dove forward and caught me. He scooped me up in his arms and turned around just in time to see Yuuki forming dark matter with sacred arts. He took a step back.

            “Wait! Wait!” he said. “I don’t even know how I got here or why I…”

            Yuuki relaxed, canceling out the arts.

            “I presume you’re Eugeo?” she said.

            Eugeo nodded.

            “Thanks to the sinister arts of the pontifex, it looks like your boyfriend and child don’t have very long if we don’t get out of here,” Yuuki said. “Don’t pull that sword out of him. We’ll have to find someone decent at healing arts.”

            Eugeo clutched me to his chest.

            “We have someone at an inn nearby in Centoria,” Eugeo said.

            They discussed something else, but I stopped registering it. Everything went eerily silent. The last thing I remembered before blacking out was Eugeo, staring down at me, with tears streaming down his face. I wanted to reach up to him and tell him that it was okay, but my body wouldn’t listen. It slipped into unconsciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: ...okay. I know what I did.


	33. Guilt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I start school this week so we will see how my posting goes. But for now, I'm sick and binge-writing this so. Welp.

            He couldn’t remember how he got there. The last thing he remembered was being removed from the cell where he’d been locked up with Kazuto and some girl called Yuuki, and when his senses returned to him, he’d buried his sword deep in Kazuto’s gut. As he clutched his unconscious boyfriend to his chest and ran behind Yuuki, it took all of his remaining energy to focus on not having a complete breakdown.

            Outside of the cathedral, he directed Yuuki to the inn where Asuna and the others were staying. Yuuki barged in, taking directions to the room from Eugeo behind her. When she threw open the door to the room, the women all turned around and stared at the scene in shock. Eugeo ignored them, gently laid Kazuto down on the closest bed, and then turned around to Asuna.

            “Please…please tell me you know healing arts,” he said, practically out of breath.

            Asuna’s eyes wandered over to Kazuto’s limp body. She knelt down beside him and pressed her hands to her mouth, trying to hold back a sob. Taking a deep breath, she took one hand and waved Eugeo back over to the bedside.

            “You’ve got to remove the sword,” she said. “I’ll do my best.”

            With a shaky hand, Eugeo wrapped his fingers around the hilt of his sword.

            “I’m sorry…” he said.

            He carefully held Kazuto down as he pulled the sword out of his underbelly. Asuna moved closer and started to use some basic healing arts. Eugeo turned the sword over in his hand, staring down at the bloodstained blade in horror. Yuuki put her hand out to him.

            “Hey, it’s not your fault,” she said.

            Eugeo dropped the sword and fell to the ground on his knees, unable to grapple with the wave of guilt flooding his chest. Yuuki wrapped her arms around him, gripping him tightly despite the slick armor he wore. He didn’t remember donning that, either, but he could care less about the strange change of outfit.

            The door opened behind him and Suguha, who hadn’t been in the room before, apparently, stepped through. She dropped whatever was in her hands and ran over to the bed, shouting at her brother. Shino had to step in and pull her back.

            “What happened to him?” Suguha cried. “Why isn’t he responding?!”

            Eugeo covered his face with his hands and started to quietly sob. He knew he’d have to explain. He didn’t know if any of the women present recognized that the bloodied sword on the floor belonged to him. But in his distress, he could only repeat three words.

            “I’m sorry,” he sobbed. “I’m sorry.”

            He looked up from his hands and saw Asuna press her ear to Kazuto’s chest. She looked terrified, but her face relaxed after a pause. Her fingers gently rearranged the hair on his face, making sure none of it was in his eyes. She turned her gaze to Eugeo, giving him a nod and a small smile.

            “He’s alive,” she said.

            She locked eyes with Shino next.

            “Could you get some bandages?” she asked. “I’m not the best at healing arts, but I’ve stopped the bleeding, I think. We still need to clean the wound and bandage it.”

            Keiko straightened up.

            “I’ll get some clothes to help clean it up,” she said.

            Suguha mentioned something about going and getting her mother. Shino and Keiko dashed out to find materials to help. Rika stepped over to Eugeo and placed her hands on her hips as she stared down at him and Yuuki.

            “Who’s this?” she asked. “And…what are you wearing?”

            Yuuki let go of Eugeo and stood up.

            “I’m Yuuki,” she said. “I was imprisoned with your friends, here. Kazuto helped me to escape. And then we sort of ran into…what was your name again?”

            “Eugeo,” he said softly.

            She nodded and continued.

            “Right, we ran into Eugeo,” she said. “There was a little bit of a holdup because I’m pretty sure he was synthesized, but he seems relatively fine now. He kinda snapped out of it when Kazuto kissed him.”

            Eugeo blinked. Synthesized? What did that mean? Yuuki crouched down in front of him and gazed into his eyes, as if looking for something. She squinted, scrunched up her nose a little bit, and then shook her head.

            “I guess there’s no way to tell if he’s still got lingering effects of the synthesis,” Yuuki said, sighing. “But he seems to fine, like I said.”

            She reached over and started to pull the armor off of one of his arms.

            “How about we get you out of that heavy stuff, huh?” she said, giving him a smile.

            He didn’t say anything. He just let her remove the pieces of armor she could take off with him sitting down. She had to coax him into standing up to remove the remaining pieces. Eugeo wasn’t focused on her, though. He watched as Keiko, Shino, and Asuna tended to Kazuto on the bed. They carefully cleaned up the wound and bandaged it. Kazuto didn’t open his eyes once.

            That evening, they couldn’t convince Eugeo to eat. He sat down by the bedside, leaning against it, waiting for Kazuto to open his eyes. He fell asleep in that position, and when he woke up, Kazuto still hadn’t stirred. Eugeo pressed his face into Kazuto’s shirt, softly crying. For all he knew, he’d accidentally killed his family. Despite the slow beating of his lover’s heart, he couldn’t bring himself to believe in his survival until his eyes opened.

            The door opened at some point. He sat up and turned his tear-stained face to the entrance. Asuna and Suguha stood with a strange woman. The woman came closer. Eugeo panicked. Clearly, the other two trusted her, but she was a complete stranger to him. He angled his body so that he knew Kazuto was behind him and she was in front of him.

            “It’s okay,” she said, taking a careful step closer. “I’m Kazuto and Suguha’s mother, Midori. And you are?”

            His mouth didn’t work properly for a moment.

            “Eu-Eugeo,” he said, swallowing. “I’m…I’m Yui’s…”

            Midori smiled.

            “Ah, at last,” she said. “Kazuto told me about you.”

            Suguha came a little closer, but she stopped short of the end of the bed. Asuna walked over and placed a hand on Eugeo’s shoulder. He took the hint to stand up and give Midori space to be near the boy she’d raised as her own son. She stroked his head.

            “Do you think…the baby will be okay?” Asuna asked.

            Her question hurt for a couple of reasons. For one, if the baby wasn’t okay, Eugeo had only himself to blame. And besides that, while he didn’t know the specifics of the situation, he did understand that prior to reuniting with Kazuto, he and Asuna had been expecting a baby that didn’t make it. Both of them grappled with the same fear that this baby would suffer a similar fate.

            Kazuto’s mother reached a hand out and pressed it against his belly. She remained silent. After a few breaths, a smile appeared on her face. Midori gently ran her fingers up and down his stomach.

            “I can feel movement,” she said. “Your little one is very lucky.”

            In the heat of the moment, Asuna and Eugeo turned and clung to each other, both letting out cries of relief. Eugeo didn’t know if he could have lived with himself if the baby died. He let go of Asuna, sat down on the bed, and placed his hand next to Midori’s. He felt the same movements she did.

            They were both okay. His guilt subsided just a little bit.

            “You’re a fighter just like your dad, aren’t you?” he said, gently resting his forehead on Kazuto’s belly. “Forgive me…”  
            Asuna placed one hand against Eugeo’s back.

            “No one’s blaming you for this,” she said. “It might have been your sword and your hand that did it, but it wasn’t you. And I know he can’t say it right now, but Kazuto believes that just as strongly as I do.”

            Eugeo lifted his head and gazed at Kazuto’s face. He looked just like he was sleeping. His lips parted slightly. His chest rose and fell as he breathed. In the very least, he had signs that Kazuto was still alive. Now, all he had to do was patiently wait by his side for his eyes to open again. He took one of Kazuto’s hands in his and squeezed it lightly.

            It wouldn’t be long, he hoped.


	34. Before You Wake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I did not mean for this chapter to be so LONG. I just got into the scene and was like...JEEZ MAN IT'S SO LONG. But I couldn't bear to cut anything. I'm sorry it's another flashback. I needed Kazuto to remember something nicer instead of something heartbreaking. So, thus, this chapter.

            It’s funny to suddenly remember something.

            And I remember that day being hot.

_Almost six years prior…_

            It was incredibly hot. I didn’t think my legs could keep going, for a number of reasons, but we’d managed to make it back to my home village. I stared numbly at Asuna’s back as she walked up to my parents’ door and knocked on it. I slumped to the ground, exhausted, and clutched the bundle in my arms to my chest. Asuna turned around and frowned at me.

            “Hey, you okay?” she asked.

            I blinked at her. I lowered my head and stared at the sleeping baby against my chest. Her little fat fingers clutched my shirt. I couldn’t resist smiling. Asuna, too, smiled. She turned back around when the door opened.

            “Who might you be, dear?”

            I glanced around Asuna. My mother stood in the doorway. She hadn’t noticed me here. I shakily stood back up while Asuna went through the motions of introducing herself as a noblewoman from the Yuuki household. My mother seemed alarmed at first, but Asuna explained that she was here because she was helping me escape Sugou, who’d severely injured me about a week ago. When she heard that, she stepped to the side and finally saw me.

            “Kazuto?” she said.

            I stepped over to her. She spread her arms out to hug me, but then froze.

            “What are you…holding?” she asked me.

            Smiling weakly, I readjusted my hold on the baby so that my mother could see. She let out a surprised gasp. Asuna said we could explain, but it would be best if I laid down. The injury still hadn’t healed. My mother hurried us inside and had me propped up on a bed in no time. She sat down beside me and smiled down at the small life in my arms.

            “Who’s this, Kazuto?” she asked.

            I glanced over at Asuna. She seemed like she felt out of place in the home of peasants, but she was polite enough not to say it. I turned my attention to my mom instead, hoping she’d eventually feel less awkward.

            “Trouble,” I said, sighing.

            My mother frowned, tilting her head.

            “Why do you say that?” she asked.

            I frowned.

            “Her father isn’t…” I said, trailing off.

            Telling my mother that I’d had an affair felt horrible. She had no idea what Sugou had done to me or what I’d been through, so explaining this would be difficult. I had to start with telling her the truth. She listened to me, all the while appearing more and more broken-hearted the more I said. She didn’t seem to blame me for finding healthier love in Eugeo. Still…

            “We didn’t mean to create life…” I said, clutching the baby closer to me. “He doesn’t even know…he doesn’t know I had to run away from Sugou to protect his child…”

            My mother grasped my shoulder.

            “How old is she?” she asked, changing the subject.

            I took a deep breath.

            “Six days…” I said.

            My mother’s eyes widened. She hadn’t realized that my flight from Sugou’s estate had been before the baby’s arrival. I’d told her I’d left seven days ago. I found myself laughing at her surprise. She leaned in a little closer, gazing down at the baby. As she stared, the baby’s eyes opened. She started to squirm in my arms.

            “Hello,” I said, putting my hand up to her.

            She reached over and grabbed my index finger. Emotion welled up in my chest. I glanced up at Asuna, who seemed bewildered at my sudden tears. My mother laughed good-naturedly and waved a hand at Asuna.

            “It’s not an emotion that easy to understand if you aren’t a parent yourself, sweetie,” she said.

            I sniffled and tried my best not to break down crying.

            “She’s…so little…” I said.

            My mother laughed again and tousled my hair.

            “You haven’t told me her name,” my mother said.

            Asuna let out a snort. I gave her a sharp glare. She apologized and then composed herself. When I didn’t immediately answer the question, she pulled her own chair forwards so that she sat next to my mother.

            “He hasn’t named her yet,” she said, looking at me teasingly.

            I felt my embarrassment in my cheeks.

            “H-hey!” I said. “You try naming another human being! It’s a big responsibility!”

            Asuna laughed and shook her head.

            “Kazuto, you’ve known about her for almost six months, is that not long enough to think up a few names?” she asked.

            I scrunched up my shoulders and avoided making eye contact with either of them. I didn’t want to feel any guilt over having not picked out a name for her yet. A lot had been on my mind lately. And now, as ridiculous as it seemed, I didn’t want to give her a name without Eugeo present. But there was no guarantee that he’d ever meet her. It struck me.

            “I should…start her name with the same sound as his,” I said, looking down at her sleepy eyes as they blinked up at me.

            Asuna and my mother tilted their heads, waiting.

            “What about…Yui?” I said.

            The baby stretched her little body out. A small squeak came out of her mouth. I smiled and held her up to my face so I could kiss her forehead. Her little hands grasped at my cheeks. My eyes felt moist again.

            “Do you like that?” I asked.

            My mother leaned over and let Yui take one of her fingers.

            “It’s nice to meet you, Yui,” she said. “I’m your grandma.”

            My mother asked to hold her first grandchild. It took a bit of coaxing; ever since her birth, Yui hadn’t left my arms. Asuna simply let me be. She probably understood that it was, in part, due to the fact that I desperately wanted Eugeo there. But I eventually allowed her to hold Yui, even if it made me nervous.

            I asked her where my father and sister were. They were on a trip to sell some wares and would be returning in the morning. Until then, it would just be the four of us in the house. I’d have to deal with explaining to them as well tomorrow, but at least my mother could help with the conversation.

            That night, as I cuddled up with Yui, I lost myself in thoughts about where he might be. I felt as if it was wrong to have brought his daughter into the world without him. He should have been there, holding her, and sharing in the joy of a new life. I knew that as she grew, I’d have to see part of him in her face. And that would hurt.

            “I wish you could see her, Eugeo,” I murmured. “She’s amazing. Has a full head of hair, if you’d believe it. She can’t open her eyes very wide. And her fingers are so tiny she can barely wrap them around my fingers. She’s really quiet when she cries.”

            I rested my hand on top of her as she slept. I could feel the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed. She’d fallen asleep after eating, probably pleased to have a full belly. Despite smiling as I gazed at the amazing little life we’d created, the ache in my heart wouldn’t let me hide it. Tears fell from my eyes onto the bedding.

            “I miss you,” I said.

            In the end, I cried myself to sleep. That sleep wasn’t easy. It was filled with fears, loneliness, and heartbreak. It was a miracle in and of itself that I didn’t stir too much and bother Yui. I didn’t stay asleep for long. I woke up once to clean her up, some hour before the sun rose. She cried even after that, so I propped myself up and cradled her to my chest.

            “Shh,” I said. “It’s okay. I’m right here.”

            When that didn’t work, I tried to think back to how my mother had been with Suguha. It was a fuzzy memory since I was little. I stood up, trying to ignore the screaming pain in my back, and walked around while holding her. She started to calm down. As I paced around in the room, my mother walked in and smiled at me. Her eyes seemed worried. She quietly told me to go rest. I went back to bed, careful to sit up on the propped pillow, and fell back asleep with Yui dozing on my chest.

            I woke up again when daylight spilled through the windows. It was a brief moment of quiet before Yui started to cry again, this time clearly because she was hungry. My mother poked her head into the room to check on us. I told her, rather bashfully, that I didn’t feel all that comfortable with her looking, to which she reminded me I was her child and although it didn’t bother her in the least, she’d give me space if I needed it.

            Of course, while neither my mother nor Asuna paid any mind, I didn’t consider the fact that my father and Suguha would be returning. Forgetting about them, I shut out the embarrassing thought that Asuna and my mother could see me feeding Yui if they walked in the room, kept my back to the door, removed my shirt, and did what was necessary.

            Neither of them bothered me, so I thought I was in the clear until I heard someone step into the room. Slightly irritated, I turned my head over my shoulder to tell either my mother or Asuna that I wasn’t up to conversation at the moment. However, it was my little sister staring at my naked back; not my friend or mother. The words froze in my throat.

            “K-Kazuto?” Suguha stammered.

            I swallowed.

            “S-Su...gu…” I stammered.

            She blinked a few times. From her angle, she could only see my back. Thus, to her, there was likely no reason for me to be topless, unless she thought I disliked having my shirt fabric against the bandages. Heat flushed my cheeks.

            “Why are you blushing so hard?” she asked. “What are you…doing?”

            Asuna, to both my relief and horror, walked in as well to clarify everything.

            “Is she done or…?” Asuna asked, completely ignoring Suguha. “Goodness, you’re all red. Earth to Kazuto.”

            “She?” Suguha repeated.

            Asuna jumped at the sound of her voice. She apparently hadn’t noticed Suguha there. I turned my head back around and shook it back and forth. I had to answer Asuna, of course, but because I was both embarrassed and irritated, it came out harsher than I meant it.

            “Don’t rush her!” I said. “How would you feel if people kept interrupting your breakfast?”

            I heard Asuna huff.

            “How hard is it to feed someone that small?” she asked.

            I turned my head back around and glared at her.

            “Oh, I’d _love_ to see you try it!” I said. “She keeps getting distracted by noises and lights, so if you would kindly leave us be—”

            At some point during my complaining, Suguha had walked right up beside me and was staring in shock. If I hadn’t been holding a baby, I’d have immediately covered my exposed chest and possibly jumped back.

            “Oh, my gods…” Suguha breathed.

            I swallowed and tried to move my mouth to tell her to leave. But the words wouldn’t come out. The embarrassment was too great. Suguha, oblivious to my inner turmoil, leaned over more to stare at Yui.

            “You…you had a…” Suguha stammered.

            She shook her head. I finally regained my voice.

            “Would you both _please_ give us privacy?!” I asked.

            Suguha gave a numb apology and scurried off. Asuna, too, mumbled an apology, and I was left to my task without further interruption. When Yui finished, I hurriedly put a top back on, scooped her up, and left the bed to go deal with my poor sister’s reaction to all of this. I ended up slipping into a chair at the table as my mother was setting food down.

            “No…no, really, you don’t have to!” Asuna was saying.

            She waved her hands around wildly.

            “You’re my guest, it would be rude not to feed you,” my mother said. “And after all, you went through a lot of trouble to save my son and granddaughter. If it hadn’t been for you, both might be dead right now.”

            I clutched Yui a little tighter just thinking about it. Had Asuna not pulled me away from Sugou, he would have likely hacked me to pieces. My mother gently rested a hand on my shoulder and smiled at us.

            “Would you look at that, she’s falling right back to sleep!” she said.

            Suguha gazed across the table at me. It felt more awkward having my sister see me like this than my mother. It had been over two years since they last saw me, and I randomly showed up, unannounced, with a week-old baby in my arms. On top of that, I brought a noblewoman with me and one hell of a story. I frowned, worried as to what might be going through Suguha’s mind as she stared at me.

            “Is she really…yours?” she finally asked.

            I bit my lip.

            “I mean…yeah,” I said.

            I glanced down at my stomach. My mother hadn’t said it, and likely neither would Suguha, but deep down, they likely felt shock. How could something like this have even happened? Perhaps I thought about it too hard—they knew I’d been forced into marriage with a noble for the sole purpose of carrying his children. Still, staring at me now, I knew that Suguha struggled to accept the image of me as I appeared now.

            Frowning, I stood up out of the chair, walked over to Suguha, and told her to put her arms out. She numbly did so, beginning to ask me why. Her words were cut off as soon as I took Yui off of my shoulder and placed her in Suguha’s outstretched arms. Panic crossed her face for a moment, but then she relaxed and stared down at the sleeping baby.

            “Yui, this is your Aunt Sugu,” I said, reaching over to adjust the blanket wrapped around her. “She’s my little sister. I’m sure you’ll like her.”

            I gave Suguha a small smile.

            “Sugu, this is Yui,” I said. “She’s seven days old, thanks to my good friend Asuna.”

            I pointed behind me at Asuna. Suguha glanced over at her. I took a deep breath and sat down in the chair next to my sister, finding my eyes nervously glued to Yui. Asuna walked over and took my shoulders in her hands.

            “Relax,” she said. “She’s in safe hands.”

            After a few minutes of confirming that Yui was fine with not just my mother, but also Suguha, I told myself to stop worrying so much about it. When my father joined us, he was allowed to hold her as well. Asuna and I filled him and Suguha in on the details surrounding both my presence here and Yui’s entire existence. As soon as we finished, I finally let Asuna hold Yui, much to her delight.

            I was mostly confined to bed for that day. My body had to heal from both the injury Sugou inflicted on me as well as from bringing Yui into the world. My mother actually scolded me for leaving the home of Keiko so soon after delivering, even though she couldn’t stay mad at me for not knowing better. I tried to focus on my mother fussing over me and Yui, but I still found myself staring out of the window.

            Wondering where in the world her other father was.

            Silently wishing for a second chance.


	35. Awakening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I had to call in a bunch of friends to help making decisions for this chapter. It was tough. But alas- it is here.

            The first thing I noticed was the throbbing pain in my underbelly. It felt unbearable. The second thing I noticed the weight of something leaning up against the side of my belly. My eyes opened slightly and glanced down at my left side. I blinked a few times. Eugeo’s head rested against my abdomen. His hair fell into his eyes, but they were closed. He was lightly dozing.

            I moved just enough that he immediately snapped awake. Panic filled his eyes. I tried to sit up, but he leapt upwards and held me down gently against the pillows propping my torso up. I reached one hand up to him and tried to touch his face. My arm felt too weak, though, and fell back down against my will. Eugeo carefully sat down next to me and picked up that hand, squeezing it gently.

            “Good morning…Eugeo…” I mumbled.

            Tears spilled out of his eyes.

            “I thought I’d…” he started, but trailed off, unable to finish.

            He let his head fall on my shoulder. I picked my free hand up shakily and rested it on the back of his neck. Firmly, but gently, I turned his head so that his ear was pressed over my heart. He tensed up, unsure of what I was doing.

            “You hear that?” I asked softly.

            He nodded.

            “We’re okay,” I reassured him. “My heart’s still beating. I’m still breathing. That’s all that matters.”

            Again, he nodded. He started to sob quietly into my shirt. I couldn’t imagine the stress this put on him. Eventually, he told me I’d been out for three days. He asked if I was hungry, to which I laughed and told him I was always hungry. He reassured me that he would be back with food and told me not to move. When he did come back, he wasn’t alone.

            On his left, Asuna and Suguha stood with their hands pressed over their mouths and hearts, clearly relieved. On his right, Yuuki, for some reason, was present, as well as a woman I feared I wouldn’t recognize.

            “M-mom…” I stammered.

            Eugeo came to my side and sat down in a chair next to me, situating himself and the food he’d brought. My mother sat down on the bed beside me, reaching out to cup my cheek in her hand. I suddenly felt embarrassed. For some reason, it felt weird to have my mother see me like this. She obviously knew I’d had a baby before, but something about her seeing me in this state made me flush red.

            “What…what are you doing here?” I asked.

            She laughed and tousled my hair.

            “I was asked to come because my son and grandbaby were in danger,” she said. “I’m glad you’re both okay. Aside from the injury, you look okay. Perhaps a little underweight, though. Eugeo, sweetie, make sure he eats all of that.”

            I blinked.

            “U… _under_ weight?” I muttered.

            My mother sighed. She probably never envisioned herself helping her son through pregnancy. Before she responded, Eugeo took a spoonful of something and shoved it in my mouth. I gave him an unamused glare. His expression was determined, as if my mother had just given him an all-important mission. I chewed what was in my mouth and swallowed.

            He insisted on helping me eat, even though I was sure I could manage by myself. Since I’d been out for a few days, everyone was fussing over me. It was explained to me that if I felt up to it by noon, we had to leave Centoria as quickly as possible. Integrity Knights were searching for us. The plan was to head back to Rulid in the hope that Eugeo’s family would at least shelter us until the baby came.

            As I started on a fifth bowl of the stew Eugeo had brought me, I told them I’d be alright with moving at noon if I had to. Everyone but my mother and Eugeo set about getting things ready for departure. I finished up the fifth bowl and stretched. My injury protested, but I needed to readjust. Sighing, I settled back into a resting position and rubbed my stomach.

            “I’m so full…” I said.

            Eugeo shook his head.

            “I still think you ate too fast,” he said. “You haven’t eaten in three…no, four days. What if you throw up?”

            I smiled up at him and shrugged.

            “I’ve been throwing up food for months,” I said. “For once, my stomach feels like it’s content and full. It’s a good feeling.”

            Eugeo looked over at my mother, who was quietly laughing to herself. He turned back to me and placed his hand on my belly. I tilted my head, wondering what he was thinking about. He seemed especially worried.

            “Is everything okay, Eugeo?” I asked.

            He jumped a little, not expecting me to talk. His lips smiled, but his eyes remained filled with concern. Instead of looking at me, he kept his eyes trained on my belly. He stroked it with his thumb.

            “I guess…it was a false alarm, then?” he asked quietly.

            I nodded.

            “It might take us a week or two to get back to Rulid,” he said slowly. “I guess I’m just a little nervous that in trying to protect you both, I’m putting you in jeopardy or at least under stress by moving you around. What if we have to stop somewhere strange because you can’t make it back to Rulid? I don’t exactly want to do that to you.”

            Despite it being a bad idea, I sat all the way up to lean forward and grasp his cheek. I pulled him into a kiss. I grasped his free hand in mine and squeezed it lightly. Our eyes met. He was on the brink of tears.

            “As long as you’re here with me when the time comes,” I said. “I don’t care where it happens, okay? Just promise me that this time, you’ll be there to hold our baby.”

            He finally gave me a genuine smile. His eyes still glistened with tears.

            “I promise,” he said.

            The door to the room swung open to reveal Shino, standing there with one hand on her hip and the other outstretched to hold the door. She made a strange face when our eyes met. Eugeo and my mother turned around.

            “We’re ready to leave,” she said. “If he can’t walk, just bridal carry him like you did the other day. The sooner we get out of Centoria and Eastabarieth both, the better. And the sooner we get to Rulid, the better.”

            Her last comment was emphasized when she dropped her eyes down to glance at my belly. Eugeo wasn’t the only person nervous about possibly having to stop and deliver a baby, it seemed. Nevertheless, we had to leave. As Yuuki had said to me the other day, I didn’t want to deliver this baby inside of the Central Cathedral only to have it taken from me.

            “I…I think I can stand,” I said.

            Eugeo stood up almost immediately and offered me a hand. I took it, carefully pulled my legs to the side, and used his arm to help pull myself to my feet. As soon as my weight shifted to adjust for the change in my center of gravity, I doubled over a little, grasping the spot under my belly where the injury was located.

            “I can carry you if need be,” Eugeo said.

            I shook my head.   
            “I’m…I’ll be fine,” I said.

            Even with the claim that I didn’t need to be carried, Eugeo wouldn’t let go of my hand as I slowly walked outside. My mother kept close, just in case I needed help from the other side. The rest of the group had acquired a few horses and a covered cart. We stopped beside the cart and my mother wrapped her arms around me tightly.

            “Without noble status, I can’t cross the border with a clear conscience,” she said. “And besides that, I can’t leave your father all alone, since Suguha and Yui will be going with you now.”

            I nodded, unsure of what to say. She kissed my cheek, let go of me, and then gave my belly a gentle pat.

            “If you can, please send word when my grandchild comes into the world,” she said.

            “O-of course,” I said, forcing a smile.

            She turned to Eugeo and, to his surprise, she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him as well. When she stepped back, she took him by the hands and squeezed them. He smiled at her.

            “You take care of my son and grandkids, okay, sweetie?” she said.

            My mother let go of his hands and gave me one more hug and a kiss.

            “Take care of yourself, Kazuto,” she said. “You’re so thin, you’d better eat everything they hand you.”

            “Yes, mom,” I said.

            I then quietly whispered something in her ear, while I had her close. She let go of me suddenly, staring at me with wide eyes and mouth gaping. Laughing nervously, I pressed my index finger gently to my lips, hoping to keep her from repeating what I’d said. She covered her mouth with one hand and placed her other on her hip. She finally shook her head and looked at me.

            “You’re joking,” she said.

            I shook my head.

            “Not at all,” I said, still laughing.

            “Oh, my gods, Kazuto,” she said. “That’s not funny—”

            I pulled her back in for a final hug, planting a kiss on her forehead. She started crying as I held her. I rubbed her back, hoping that my words wouldn’t stress her out too much. She looked up at me, her expression somewhere between worry and wonder. I took her hand in mine and pressed it to my belly.

            “I swear to you we’ll be fine,” I whispered.

            As Suguha came over to say her goodbyes to our mother, Eugeo helped me up onto the cart and made sure I was comfortable. Shino apparently was going to stay with me, as a protective measure. Asuna came and set Yui beside me. When she went back around to mount her steed, Eugeo frowned and pressed a hand to my belly.

            “Is something wrong?” he asked, keeping his eyes on his own fingers.

            I shook my head.

            “No, why would you ask that?” I said.

            He locked eyes with me. He was serious. Guilt filled my chest. I didn’t want him to worry so much. Yui glanced between us a few times, saw where Eugeo’s hand was, and reached over to place her hand next to his. Her eyes widened in surprise when she felt a kick. I stroked her head and laughed, while Eugeo gave me a straightforward answer.

            “You said something that bothered your mother,” he said. “She now seems worried about you and the baby. What exactly did you tell her?”

            I smiled and held out my free hand to him. He raised an eyebrow as he grasped it. I rubbed my thumb on the back of Eugeo’s hand. Turning my head to Yui, I took a deep breath and pulled her into a hug beside me. She laughed and snuggled up to my side.

            “Yui, how do you feel about being a big sister?” I asked.

            Eugeo gave me a look, indicating he didn’t appreciate me stalling.

            “I’m excited!” she said.

            “Well, then, how do you feel about having two siblings instead of one?” I asked.

            I figured it didn’t actually make much of a difference to Yui. But as soon as I looked over at Eugeo, I almost felt the need to call someone to douse him with cold water. Yui tilted her head in thought, not really sure what I meant. Eugeo stared down at my belly, now likely feeling the same sense of shock my mother had moments before.

            “Are you…sure?” he asked quietly.

            A valid question. It wasn’t something I could easily explain to him, but I trusted that he understood I could know that. I gave him a small smile and nodded. He threw himself forward and wrapped his arms around me. His body was so tense. He was shaking. I rubbed his back and let him cling to me.

            “We’re okay, Eugeo,” I said. “Everything’s going to be okay.”

            He shook his head.

            “You could die!” he cried.

            He clutched the fabric of my shirt tighter.

            “Eugeo,” I said. “I’m not going to die. I know it’s dangerous, but I refuse to leave you. I’m not so fragile that I’ll let this break me. In a month or so, we’ll forget the stress of it and just focus on raising our little family.”

            “Little?” he repeated, unable to hold back a laugh.

            He sat up and pressed his forehead against mine. We shared a lengthy kiss. My confidence didn’t erase his worry. But, I thought, he at least seemed like he would view this with an optimistic hope for the future. I was glad.

            After all…I didn’t want him knowing how terrified I was.


	36. Homecoming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I've been significantly slowed down by grad classes, haha. And I have con this weekend. Debuting my homemade Eugeo costume! (I have posted it to my tumblr thegayfromrulid, and it is likely easier to find under the #katsucon 2019 tag, if you are curious). Things in writing will be not super eventful for a bit, as I was made to promise I wouldn't distress Kazuto and Eugeo anymore before they're dads again. So it might be a handful of chapters of fluff before I return to the peril at hand.

            Our trip to Rulid Village in Norlangarth took almost two weeks. We had to make stops for the night, to rest the horses, stretch our legs, and sleep. When we arrived at the guard post outside of Rulid, Yui and I were curled up asleep in the cart. It was very early in the morning. The raised voices of Asuna and some stranger aroused me. Being careful not to wake Yui, I pulled myself up and glanced at the young man standing there with crossed arms. He listened while Asuna and Eugeo explained the situation.

            “At least let me send for my parents,” Eugeo was saying. “I understand that you don’t want to invite me back into town under suspicion that I’ve broken the Taboo Index, but one of our members is heavily pregnant and needs somewhere safe to deliver.”

            The man shifted his weight and glanced over in my direction momentarily. He didn’t seem to care about what Eugeo was saying in the least. Frowning, I carefully climbed out of the cart and made my way over beside Eugeo. Upon seeing me, his expression softened a little. Asuna and Eugeo turned to me, surprised to see me there.

            “Kazuto! Go sit down!” Asuna exclaimed.

            Eugeo grasped my arm and gave me an uneasy look.

            “Is this…is this _Kazuto_?” the man asked, smirking. “That guy you found wandering in the woods almost a year and a half ago? Or should I be saying _girl_?”

            I tensed up. Eugeo squeezed my arm.

            “Zink, Kazuto identifies as a guy,” he said firmly. “Please, if you won’t let us in, send for my parents and see if they’ll let us in.”

            “Why should I?” Zink asked.

            Eugeo and Asuna both cast a worried glance at my abdomen. If anything, it was clear that the two of them refused to let me deliver anywhere other than under a roof and in a bed. They weren’t convinced that this Zink fellow would sympathize with that desire. I turned to Eugeo and placed a hand on his shoulder.

            “Hey, don’t worry too much about me,” I said. “If we head back to Zakkaria, I think I can make it.”

            Asuna, of course, didn’t believe me.

            “There is _no_ way we’re traveling two days back to Zakkaria,” she said. “He could go into labor any day now. Look at him. We’ll have to stop and deliver on the side of the road in the cart! With no access to useful things to clean up.”

            Her statement seemed to strike a chord with the guard, even if he didn’t seem all that keen on allowing Eugeo back into Rulid. He cleared his throat to get our attention and pointed a thumb over his shoulder.

            “You will go straight to Orick’s house,” Zink said. “If nothing else, you’ll be allowed to stay until your weird friend here gives birth. Hurry along, before I change my mind.”

            Not wanting to waste the brief generosity, Asuna grasped me by my wrist and pulled me down the path. Eugeo hastily gave Zink his thanks and then dashed after us. The others followed, audibly snickering. I tugged on Asuna’s arm.

            “Slow…slow down,” I said, laughing.

            She stopped and watched as I bent over slightly to catch my breath. I placed my hands on my hips. Eugeo came up behind me and gently rubbed the small of my back. He gave Asuna a look. She held her hands up apologetically. I straightened back up and shifted my weight, letting out a groan as I tried to find a comfortable standing position.

            “Which way is your place, then?” Asuna asked.

            “Not too far from here,” Eugeo said.

            He led us through the village. Faces I barely remembered were casting cautious glares at our little caravan. Eugeo avoided making eye contact. I slipped my hand into his and squeezed his fingers. He gave me a soft smile in thanks. I found myself stopping for a moment to stare up at the little church where I’d spent the night a year and a half ago. The door opened, and my stomach dropped.

            A young woman with blonde hair stepped out. She lifted her eyes and saw us there. Everything in her arms spilled out. The sound of the clatter made Eugeo stop in his tracks and look in her direction. Instead of picking up her things, she ran over to us, smiling with relief at first. She stopped in her tracks the moment she saw me. Her expression changed instantly.

            “Eu…Eugeo?” she stammered. “And…Kazu…to?”

            Her eyes dropped down to about our hips. She noticed our hands tightly clasped together, and then her gaze fixated on my bulging belly. Eugeo refused to look at her. This was the girl I’d met just after waking up and reuniting with Eugeo. She, in a rather vague way, had seemed to imply that she and Eugeo were lovers. I didn’t know if I should have felt guilty or not.

            “Alice, I can explain things to you later, but I need to speak with my parents first,” Eugeo said.

            He tugged at my hand and kept walking. I wondered what was going through his head. I briefly glanced back at Alice, who still stood numbly in front of the church. With any luck, her friendship with Eugeo might be restored. But for now, we had other things to focus on. When we arrived at our destination, Eugeo hesitated. I placed a hand on his shoulder.

            “They have to know,” he said. “They have to know where I went six years ago. They have to know about us. About Yui. It’s wrong not to tell them.”

            I gently rubbed his shoulder.

            “If you feel like you can’t, there’s no shame in not telling them,” I said. “But if this is what you want to do, I’m right here with you.”

            “I have to tell them,” he said.

            He turned to the door and knocked on it. He immediately stepped back a few paces and lowered his head. The door opened to reveal a man with a grim expression on his face. He opened his mouth, but then closed it again. His eyes opened wide. He looked at the rest of us, raising an eyebrow.

            “This is the second time you’ve vanished,” he said. “But this time, you return with quite the motley crew.”

            A line creased his brow.

            “Are the rumors surrounding your departure true, then, Eugeo?” he asked.

            His eyes were fixated on me now.

            “The lost child of Vector was rumored to be your lover,” he said. “What I see before me seemingly supports this claim. Unless the father is someone else in your little caravan, but you appear to be the only candidate here.”

            Eugeo took a breath.

            “I’m not asking you to overlook that we broke the law,” Eugeo said softly. “All I’m asking if for a safe place to deliver your grandchild. We might have joined together illegally, but our child is innocent. At least let it be born free, instead of in a cell with its parents.”

            He reached over and spread his hand out over my belly. His father frowned at the gesture. I looked at his eyes, trying to discern what was going through his mind. His eyes seemed fierce—insistent, almost. Eugeo wasn’t making a request. He stated his purpose. He clearly had no intent of turning tail and heading back to Zakkaria.

            “I aim to make this right,” Eugeo continued, his voice louder this time. “I’ll marry him to protect our children. I don’t care what you think of us. Just give us time to deal with our current problem and we’ll leave.”

            The two kept their eyes locked for what felt like an eternity. Eugeo’s father was the first to look away. A woman had come up behind him and was whispering something in his ear. He shot a glance in my direction, frowned deeper than before, and then stepped outside to stand in front of Eugeo.

            “You don’t get to assume whether or not we will consider you a problem,” he said. “Follow your mother inside. Your friends will have to find lodging at the church.”

            Eugeo nervously glanced back.

            “I’ll get Yui,” he said suddenly.

            He hurried back over to the cart to collect her and stopped to discuss something with Shino and Asuna. I swallowed, realizing I was now the target of his parents’ attention. His mother was now visible to the left of her husband; she studied me with a soft expression.

            “Um, hello,” I said.

            His mother smiled.

            “Hello dear,” she said. “Why don’t you step inside? There’s no need for you to keep standing up, you must be tired.”

            “Oh, um…” I said.

            I cast a glance back behind me and saw Yui hurry over to grab my hand. Eugeo’s mother gasped. I looked down at Yui. She stared back in Asuna’s direction. I bent over as best I could and pointed back at Asuna.

            “Would you rather go with mama or papa, Yui?” I asked.

            She clutched my hand even tighter.

            “Why isn’t mama coming with you?” she asked.

            I caught Eugeo’s parents’ gaze for a moment and then took a breath.

            “Because these nice people are letting me and your other dad stay with them for the moment,” I said. “You can go with mama if you want.”

            Yui pressed her face into my belly and wrapped her arms around me as best she could. She shook her head. Her hands clutched my shirt tightly. I glanced over at Eugeo’s parents. I didn’t want to ask them to house one more person, but it didn’t seem like Yui was willing to part with me again. Eugeo’s mother stepped outside and knelt down to be at Yui’s eye level.

            “Who’s this?” she asked.

            I gently stroked Yui’s hair.

            “This is Yui,” I said.

            “How old is she?”

            “Five. She’ll be six in the summer.”

            “She’s yours?”

            I nodded.

            “Yeah, she’s mine,” I said. “She’s definitely got my hair and eyes, but she’s got her other dad’s face shape and nose. I don’t suppose you can tell that with her face hiding in my stomach, can you?”

            She laughed.

            “I doubt I’d know her father, either,” she said.

            I tensed up a little.

            “You…you do,” I said, casting a glance over to Eugeo.

            He gesticulated wildly while talking to Asuna, who seemed a bit riled up. I turned my attention back to Eugeo’s mother, who clearly had understood what I meant. Her eyes moved between Eugeo and Yui, as if trying to wrap her mind around the fact that this child clinging to me was her granddaughter.

            “She’s…Eugeo’s?” she finally said.

            I nodded.

            “I’m sure he can provide a better explanation than I can, but we met during his time outside of Rulid,” I said. “He couldn’t have told you about Yui because he didn’t know. He left before I could tell him.”

            “He would have been fifteen…sixteen when she was born.”

            “That’s right.”

            I stroked Yui’s hair. She turned her face just enough to gaze at the blonde woman kneeling beside us. Her cheek remained pressed against my belly. Eugeo’s mother studied her with glistening eyes. Eugeo reappeared beside me and frowned. I smiled at him reassuringly. His mother got up and threw her arms around him in a tight embrace.

            It seemed we didn’t have to worry so much. He awkwardly returned her hug. Seeing them so close to one another, I concluded that Eugeo definitely took after his mother. She let go of Eugeo and smiled down at Yui.

            “She’s definitely got your face,” she said softly.

            Eugeo blushed rather intensely. I couldn’t help but to laugh. My laughter startled Yui enough that she jumped. I rubbed her back so that she’d calm down.

            “Yui’s refusing to leave me,” I said, filling him in.

            “Please, come inside,” Eugeo’s mother said again. “Get off your feet and tell us a little bit about what’s going on.”

            Sighing, Eugeo started to follow her in.

            “Oh, and we absolutely need to feed your boyfriend,” she said, stopping us both in our tracks. “He’s practically withering!”

            Eugeo and I shared a glance.

            “She’s _your_ mom,” I said.

            He frowned at me, clearly unamused, as I steered Yui towards the door, following his mother inside. I laughed to myself. Maybe he wasn’t as scared of being berated for his actions as he was embarrassed to have me near his family. Fortunately for me, now I’d have the time to find that out.


	37. Acclamation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: It's that time again- me stalling because I can't name OCs. (That's not all of why I'm stalling, I wanted to soften all that harsh angst with some fluffier stuff! Although I had a request for some smut...>#< I suck at smut but I can try...it's also a very awkward time to insert that but x_x)

            A couple of things were discussed concerning Eugeo’s request to live at home until I gave birth. For starters, after much discussion, his parents agreed to house us indefinitely if we agreed to be legally married within the next week. We readily agreed, eager to have the burden of our illegal tryst off of our shoulders, and by the end of the week, his parents had convinced the sister of the village to officiate a small, extremely private wedding despite our situation.

            Secondly, Eugeo was expected to help his father and brothers with tending to their farm. He had no objections to this. It essentially paid for our keep, since they had three new mouths to feed, and one of those mouths was intaking quite a bit to gain weight. I tried to offer help of my own but Eugeo’s mother kept insisting I rest. I was at least allowed to pull chairs into rooms that she was in to talk with her.

            By the end of the first week, the stress of acclimating to a new living situation dissipated. My mother-in-law and Sulinea, Eugeo’s older sister, were preparing dinner while I sat nearby. Yui sat to my right and rested her arms and head on my belly. She was dozing quietly. Sulinea came over to me and handed me a bowl of food. I took it and thanked her.

            She stopped and stared at Yui. I hadn’t had many interactions with her; she’d been avoiding looking me in the eyes or talking to me for the entire week. Eugeo’s father and brothers didn’t really speak to me, either. I did represent proof that their son had broken the Taboo Index, which was likely a very hard fact for them to accept. Sulinea still didn’t look me in the eyes now, but this time, she spoke.

            “That doesn’t bother her?”

            I blinked at her, having shoved some food into my mouth. I swallowed it.

            “What?”

            Sulinea sighed and gestured to Yui.

            “She’s fast asleep despite there probably being some commotion in there,” she said, keeping her eyes lowered. “It can’t be that comfortable.”

            I shrugged.

            “I’m the wrong person to ask about how comfortable that is,” I said. “I’ve never done it.”

            She raised her brow.

            “You’re a peculiar one, Kazuto,” she said. “I haven’t paid you any attention before now, and yet you speak to me so frankly as if I were your friend.”

            Unsure of how to respond to such a comment, I spooned more food into my mouth. I wasn’t given a chance to think of an answer. Yui sat up suddenly and blinked at my belly. Eugeo’s mother walked in just in time to see her wake up. She came and knelt down in front of me, smiling sweetly at Yui.

            “Did you have a nice nap?” she asked.

            Yui nodded, but then frowned.

            “The babies kicked me,” she commented.

            Suddenly both women’s eyes were on me, wide-eyed. I couldn’t possibly get around that one. Passing it off like Yui was confused wasn’t fair to her at all, even if I wanted to keep that information between just myself, her, and Eugeo. His mother shifted her eyes to my belly and leaned forward so that her face rested almost up against it.

            “Is big sister exaggerating because you’re so big?” she asked.

            “Mom, don’t do that,” Sulinea said, groaning. “That’s embarrassing, both for me and poor Kazuto.”

            I waved my hands.

            “Oh…it’s…fine,” I said. “My handmaiden would talk to Yui before she was born. Well, she did it for these two as well, but, you get my point. It’s not all that weird.”

            Sulinea seemed to ignore my entire point.

            “You mean there really _are_ more than one in there?” she asked.

            Yui smiled widely and answered for me.

            “There’s two!” she said.

            She turned to my belly, eager to repeat Eugeo’s mother’s actions from a moment before. She got as close as she could without pressing her face against my abdomen and clutched my shirt with both hands.

            “I’m your big sister!” she said. “I want you to come soon so I can meet you!”

            Eugeo’s mother laughed. Sulinea covered her mouth to keep it from being obvious, but she was laughing, too. I could tell from the way her shoulders shook. The front door slammed shut. Footsteps sounded as someone entered the room. I glanced to my right to see Eugeo giving us all a strange look. Yui popped up over the back of the chair and waved at him, smiling.

            He awkwardly waved back at her and came over to my left side. I reached up and grasped his collar to pull him down into a kiss. His mother laughed even more, especially considering how unprepared he was. When I let go of him, he hastily righted himself. His cheeks were a brilliant shade of red.

            “Kazuto!” he exclaimed.

            “I missed you,” I said, grinning.

            “I was just outside!”

            “I know.”

            Yui glanced between us, looking confused, and then reached an arm across me towards Eugeo. He leaned forward. She tried to pull him further down by his collar so that his face was close to my belly.

            “Um…Yui, sweetie,” I said. “Don’t force him, now.”

            “Dad, you say hi, too!” she said, completely ignoring me.

            Eugeo’s mother and sister looked at him expectantly. Yui smiled sat back down. She wrapped her arms around my back and belly and embraced me. I shook my head, amused. She looked so happy.

            “Big sister loves you,” she said. “Dad’s here to say, hi, too!”

            I raised my eyebrows and smirked at Eugeo smugly. He made a face as if he were irritated with me. I nodded in Yui’s direction and mouthed “please.” I think he knew what I meant. He sighed, mouthed back “fine” and then did his best to position himself in front of me so that Yui knew what he was doing.

            “H-hello,” he said.

            Yui giggled.

            “This…is kinda weird…” he said, laughing. “But…I love you, too…”

            Turning just a shade redder, he cupped my belly in one hand, leaned over further, and touched his lips to it. He sat back shyly and scrunched up his shoulders. His mother pulled him into a sideways hug, laughing. Sulinea bit her lip, but then bent over as well. She spoke very quietly, but it was loud enough for me to hear.

            “I kind of want to meet you soon, too,” she said.

            She then straightened up and hurried back to the kitchen, calling for her mother to come and help her finish up. I spooned some more food into my mouth and hummed. Eugeo blinked up at me.

            “Why are you already eating?” he asked.

            I patted my belly for emphasis.

            “I think your mom’s tryna make me tip over,” I said jokingly.

            Eugeo gave me a look.

            “They’ve been feeding me every moment I’ll take food from them,” I said. “At first, I felt guilty, but the way your mom puts it, it’s much healthier in the long run if I gain a little bit of weight. So, I stopped refusing, since I’m hungry anyways.”

            Eugeo reached up and spread his hand out over my belly. He frowned.

            “It’s going to be soon, isn’t it?” he asked.

            I shrugged. Yui climbed out of the chair and scurried off to the kitchen. I quietly hoped they wouldn’t find her much of a nuisance. I had faith in her being an excellent little helper. I sighed, gazing down at my stomach. I rubbed the top of it.

            “Like I told you, those other times were false alarms,” I said. “Your mom seems to think it’ll be a little while because of how they’re sitting. But man, I would love for it to be over with soon. They’re getting so heavy.”

            “I’m sorry,” Eugeo said.

            “What are you sorry for?” I asked.

            He took his hand and rubbed it up and down a few times.

            “This.”

            I laughed.

            “I’m serious!” he said. “I should have been more careful. This has caused so much trouble for you. It put us in jail where we could have risked losing the child to the Axiom Church, it put you through hell with your ex-husband, and now it might kill you because there’s two of them!”

            I ran my hand down my belly and on top of his hand. I gently rubbed it with my thumb.

            “We _both_ should have been more careful,” I said. “But there’s no need for you to apologize for this, Eugeo. Sure, the timing was poor and the journey’s been dangerous, but they’re our children and that’s an indescribable feeling.”

            Eugeo smiled. He stood up, carefully, so as not to pull his hand away from mine, and then leaned forward to give me a deeper kiss than the greeting I’d given him earlier. My pulse quickened. I reached up and grasped his collar, trying to pull his closer to me.

            “We’re where people can see us, Kazuto,” he said. “Can you wait until after dinner?”

            I pressed my forehead into his shoulder and shook my head. He laughed and gently rubbed my back.

            “It won’t be too long,” he insisted.

            When I lifted my head up to protest, he caught me off guard with another kiss.

            “Okay,” I said.

            He helped me up to my feet, smiling.

            “Now, let’s go _behave_ and help my mother get dinner on the table,” he said.

            I rolled my eyes.

            “No promises,” I said, smirking.


	38. Finally Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This fic got so long oh my gosh. And as noted, I'm just gonna keep rolling until I finally hit a stopping point, but I can't seem to find one heeeelp. Haha. Ummm this gets a LITTLE NSFW but as I've noted before I don't write actual sex so. Sorry if this disappoints you I just don't know HOW. ;-;

            “Papa, can we go see mama tomorrow?” Yui asked.

            I pulled a blanket up over her and tried to hide the fact that I was unsure of how to answer that. It would be best to ask if Eugeo could take her, but tomorrow wasn’t a day of rest, so he had to get up early and work. I’d take her myself, but my mother-in-law wasn’t letting me go very far since we didn’t know when the babies would arrive. The best I could do was ask someone to invite Asuna over.

            “I’ll see what I can do, okay?” I said. “Papa can’t go right now.”

            Yui tilted her head and frowned.

            “Why not?” she asked.

            “Just in case your siblings decide to come,” I said.

            I stroked her hair out of her face. She reached a hand over to touch my belly. I wondered how much she understood about that. Her expression gave away nothing. I felt the light pressure of her hand against my stomach. Frowning, she suddenly knit her eyebrows together as if confused.

            “How will you know when they want to come?” she asked.

            Laughing, I leaned over and planted a kiss on her forehead.

            “They’ll tell me,” I told her. “Don’t worry.”

            Her lips formed a slight pout.

            “Good night, Yui,” I said.

            “Good night, papa,” she said.

            I blew out the candle beside her, smiled as I watched her close her eyes, and then headed to Eugeo’s room. He was sitting on the bed, one leg resting over the other, a book in one hand, and propped up against the headboard so that he could be close to the candlelight on the table beside him. I leaned on the door, content with just watching his eyes dart back and forth as he read. He finally looked up from his book and blinked at me.

            “How long have you been standing there?” he asked.

            Shrugging, I shifted my weight and crossed my arms.

            “Oh, not too long,” I said. “You know, you’re more than welcome to tuck Yui in anytime you like.”

            His face flushed pink. I laughed.

            “You need to sit down,” he said, diverting the topic.

            I sighed.

            “Eugeo, I’m fine,” I said.

            Even as I said that, I made my way over to the bedside. I stopped at the end to stretch. Eugeo was making a funny face.

            “What?” I said.

            He blinked.

            “You kind of…waddle,” he said.

            “Hey!” I said.

            He jumped a little when I got onto the bed, straddling his legs, and held myself up inches from his face. I gave him my best mischievous grin. Eugeo did his best to look frustrated with me, but I could tell he was resisting laughing. I leaned myself forward and kissed him. He set his book down on the table.

            “Yui seems to finally be fine falling asleep in the other room,” I whispered. “You know what that means.”

            I slipped my hand up his shirt. I ran my fingers over his stomach and then dropped them down to fidget with the waist of his pants. He raised his eyebrows at me, as if surprised. I pulled myself closer and sat on his lap.

            “We’re finally alone,” I said.

            “K-Kazuto, you’re…injured…and…” he stammered, glancing down at my belly.

            Ignoring his statement, I pressed myself up against him and kissed his neck. I could feel the heat in his face. I chuckled, closed my eyes, and gave him another kiss on the lips. I took his face in my hands and held onto that kiss as long as I could. Our lips parted, I took a breath, and then I kissed him again. Very gently, I bit his lip. He pulled away for a moment, but then his lips met mine again. The tip of his tongue slipped into my mouth.

            I opened my eyes a little. He was staring at me through half-closed lids. His face was flush. I ran my fingers through his hair. I smiled. He did, too.

            “You wanna…?” I said, trailing off.

            He nodded. He knew what I meant.

            “Yeah…” he said.

            Sitting back, I grasped the tie at the top of his shirt and pulled it loose. He let me pull his shirt off, and then he went to undo mine and hesitated. I told him it was okay, so he slipped it off. I took the liberty of removing my own pants. I straddled his right leg and ran my hand down his chest and stomach, once again slipping my hand into this waistline. This time, however, I went all of the way.

            He eventually grasped me by the shoulders and pushed me down onto my back. His lips pressed into mine rather aggressively, and he pressed his knee up between my legs. I slipped my tongue into his mouth. He slipped his into mine. Our lips parted and came together over and over, eagerly drinking up the other’s taste.

            Eugeo bent his head forward and started to gently nibble on my neck. The sensation filled me with pleasure. I half-closed my eyes and moaned. I almost didn’t want him to stop, but stopped to let me know what he was doing. I gave him consent to go ahead, so we adjusted positions.

            If he found it awkward to deal with my current waist size, he didn’t say anything or show it. He only suggested we switch positions once, and that likely had nothing to do with difficulty. Afterwards, we laid on our sides face to face. He stroked my hair out of my face.

            “I missed you,” I said.

            He smiled.

            “I’m glad you’re safe,” he said. “Nothing hurts too bad, right?”

            I shook my head.

            “Although I can’t say I wasn’t hoping to encourage these two to make an exit,” I said, laughing.

            Eugeo frowned.

            “What do you mean?” he asked.

            Smoothing down the bedsheet over my belly, I hummed and rubbed it. Two false alarms back when we were dealing with getting arrested and escaping prison, but since then I’d felt nothing other than them resituating themselves. They were doing that right now. But the pain I’d felt back then wasn’t happening.

            “Oh, I’ve heard that sex can sometimes help you go into labor,” I said. “I guess they’re just not ready. It must be too comfy and warm in there.”

            Eugeo rubbed my belly and smiled.

            “They’re moving,” he mumbled.

            I nodded and hummed again.

            “Don’t worry,” he said. “I’m sure it’ll be soon.”

            Sighing, I frowned. He was right. While they clearly weren’t ready at this very moment, it couldn’t be more than a month before they arrived. As much as I wanted them out, the thought of their upcoming birth made me shake. My chances of surviving labor were pretty low. And that was presuming there were no complications.

            “Hey, what’s wrong?” Eugeo asked.

            I turned my face into the pillow to avoid looking at him.

            “I…I don’t want to die,” I said. “I don’t want to die and never get to hold them…and never get to be with you again…”

            He didn’t say anything. I knew he feared that outcome just as much as I did. The way he’d clung to me when I’d told him there were two confirmed that. I couldn’t expect reassuring words from him about this predicament. Until it happened, we would both be holding our breaths in fear of the worst outcome.

            “Alice…Alice is something of a sacred arts prodigy,” Eugeo said. “Would it be alright if I asked her to assist with the birth?”

            I looked over at him, wide-eyed.

            “What do you mean?” I asked.

            He grasped my hand and squeezed it.

            “If I can convince Alice to help you, I think both you and the babies will be okay,” he said.

            Eugeo didn’t sound completely sure of himself, but he certainly was making an effort to try and stay strong for my sake. His eyes glistened in the candlelight, wet from tears he was trying so hard to hold in.

            “Only if you’re okay with it,” he said. “I know you don’t know Alice, but she might be able to save all three of you.”

            Alice. The girl we both feared having to confront after running away from Rulid over a year ago. Eugeo probably worried about that confrontation more than I did. His willingness to ask her, of all people, for help saving me brought me to tears. I wanted to blame the hormones, but that was no excuse. He was willing to risk an uncomfortable situation just to ensure I might have a chance at living.

            I gave him a nod.

            “Okay,” I said. “If you trust in Alice this much, then I do as well.”

            He smiled and gently rubbed the back of my hand.

            “I’ll go talk to her on the day of rest,” he said. “If you think you can hold on just a bit longer, that is.”

            I laughed.

            “Yeah, another five days shouldn’t be so bad,” I said.

            Or so I hoped.


	39. A Year of Lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I just have to throw wrenches in things. I know. I know. I'm sorry.

            Eugeo dreaded confronting Alice. After coming back from his unexplained trip to Eastabarieth, he’d decidedly played along with being publicly Alice’s boyfriend. It just sort of happened. The two became associated with one another, since they were childhood friends, and before he knew it, they were holding hands and she was teasing him flirtatiously. He’d always seen her as more of a sister than a lover, but he’d never had the courage to tell her his heart belonged to someone else.

            Of course, in running off, he’d told her nothing. They’d grabbed the Blue Rose Sword and run without a second thought or hesitation, concerned more for their own safety than for the emotions of one girl who likely remained in Rulid, filled with heartbreak and confusion. And now, he planned to go up and ask the girl he’d left without a word to save his husband and unborn children.

            What a desperate action.

            He watched from the doorway as Kazuto spoke to his mother. He couldn’t hear what they were saying, but he could guess it had to do with the babies. Kazuto held his back with one hand and his belly with the other. He looked extremely uncomfortable. Despite it being morning, he looked tired. Eugeo made his way over to them, slipped his arm around Kazuto’s waist from behind, and then planted a kiss on his cheek.

            “Good morning,” he said.

            Kazuto turned his head and kissed him on the lips.

            “Mm, good morning,” he replied. “You’ve got nice bedhead, Eugeo.”

            He frantically fussed with his hair to make it lay down with his free hand. Sighing, he stared down at the enormous bulge of his husband’s midsection. He reached down and pressed one hand to the furthest point and frowned. The babies moved around restlessly.

            “Nothing?” he asked.

            Kazuto shook his head.

            “I told you I’d hold out until Saturday,” he said jokingly. “Although I think they’re running out of room in there. I don’t know if I want to know if I can get any wider than this.”

            He lifted up his shirt. Eugeo had noticed it before, but this was the first time Kazuto had mentioned it. The spiderwebbing pattern spreading over his taut belly worried Eugeo, perhaps simply because he didn’t know what it was. He carefully touched his fingers to the affected area and glanced up at Kazuto.

            “Does it hurt?” he asked.

            Kazuto laughed.

            “Eugeo, everything is sore right now,” he said.

            That made sense, he supposed. He took Kazuto’s shirt and pulled it back down over his belly. Kazuto sighed and rested his head on Eugeo’s shoulder. Frowning, Eugeo reached up to brush Kazuto’s hair out of his face, but when his fingers touched his forehead, he gasped and pressed his palm to his forehead.

            “You’re hot!” he exclaimed.

            “Thank you,” Kazuto said, chuckling.

            Eugeo groaned.

            “No, you have a high temperature!” he said. “Are you running a fever? You need to lay back down!”

            “I’m fine,” Kazuto insisted.

            Eugeo’s mother shook her head.

            “I agree with my son, you need to go lay down, sweetie,” she said. “We’ll get you something to eat, you just go rest. Your body is under a lot of stress and it will only get worse if you’re sick. Go lay down.”

            Kazuto grumbled, but did as he was told. Eugeo sighed and watched him shuffle back to the bedroom to lay down. Sulinea handed him a roll and gave him a small smile. He took a bite out of the roll. His mother started putting some food on a plate.

            “He’s not as far along as you think he is,” she noted.

            Eugeo almost choked on his food.

            “What…what do you mean?” he asked.

            His mother wiped her hands on her apron and raised her eyebrows at him.

            “I’ve carried and given birth to four children in my lifetime,” she said. “I know his body’s not ready.”

            She pulled him into a sideways hug and stroked his head.

            “I know, you missed the first time with your daughter, so this is like the first time for you,” she said softly. “You’re worried for them and anxious, just like your father was with your eldest brother. They’re going to be fine.”

            _But they might not be_ , he thought.

            “So, what are you up to on your day of rest?” she asked. “I’m certain Kazuto would like time to rest, so someone needs to watch Yui.”

            Eugeo felt guilty. He needed to speak with Alice. It wasn’t that he wanted to prioritize anything over Yui, but he’d rather Yui have both fathers when her siblings arrived, not just one. For now, he had to do this.

            “I’ll be back around lunch to watch her,” he promised. “There’s something I need to do. I need to ask Alice for a favor.”

            Sulinea frowned.

            “Are you sure Alice even wants to talk to you?” she asked.

            “I have to try,” Eugeo said. “She’s the most skilled sacred arts user I’ve ever met. She’ll be able to help Kazuto deliver safely. If it means I have to go and have a difficult conversation with her, then so be it.”

            “I understand,” Sulinea said.

            He finished up his quick breakfast and promised he’d be back before lunchtime. He properly dressed himself, took a deep breath, and then headed in the direction of the church. People gave him odd looks as he beelined for the church. He shut them out. This wasn’t about them. If all of Rulid except his parents hated him for what he’d done, it didn’t matter. He’d agreed to cross the lines with Kazuto. Nothing he could do would reverse that.

            Taking another breath, he calmed himself, lifted his hand, and rapped his knuckles on the door of the church. After a few beats of his racing heart, the door swung open, revealing the elder nun, Sister Azariya. Her stern face gazed down at him. He swallowed. She’d agreed to officiate a private wedding for him and Kazuto two weeks prior, but he wasn’t sure if she felt that made up for their crime.

            “S-Sister Azariya,” he stammered. “Is Alice here?”

            The older woman gave a slight nod.

            “Do you need to speak with her, Eugeo?” she asked. “Alice is rather busy with her studies, after all.”

            Eugeo frowned.

            “On a day of rest?” he couldn’t help but ask.

            The woman tensed up. Eugeo frowned. So, she’d lied about Alice being busy.

            “I want to clear things up between us,” he said. “I know that you wish to protect Alice’s heart, but I can’t live in the same village as her and expect to never speak to her again. Rulid isn’t all that big. If we can’t cross this bridge, things will continue to be awkward and uncomfortable for both of us.”

            Sister Azariya pursed her lips.

            “Sister, who’s at the door?”

            Suddenly, Alice appeared next to the nun, her eyes wide with surprise. Eugeo grasped his arm and fought the urge to look away. Sister Azariya said something quietly to Alice, gave a polite nod to Eugeo, and then hurried back inside of the church. Alice closed the door behind herself. She glanced down at the ground.

            “Alice, I wanted to apologize—”

            “Look, Eugeo, I wanted to apologize—”

            They both locked eyes, blinking.

            “U-um, you go first,” he said.

            She shook her head. He drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

            “Okay,” he said. “I wanted to come and apologize to you for leaving, and for leading you on all that time. I was never brave enough to tell you that my heart already belonged to someone else, nor was I brave enough to tell Kazuto as we left Rulid that you deserved an explanation. You’re my closest friend. You deserved better than that.”

            Alice stared at him for a few moments, her mouth forming an “o” in surprise at his apology. To his shock, she began to laugh softly. He frowned, unsure of what to make of her response. She held up her hand, silently requesting that he give her a moment. When she caught her breath, she shook her head.

            “And here I was, wanting to apologize to you for a similar problem,” she said.

            Eugeo leaned forward slightly.

            “What…what do you mean?” he asked.

            “I’m…not interested in men,” she said. “I simply went along with it because that’s what everyone seemed to want for us. But when you came back hand-in-hand with Kazuto, I didn’t know if an apology was even something I should have given. Clearly, fate knew we weren’t meant to be together and naturally separated us.”

            He felt relieved.

            “So…you’re not angry with me?” he asked.

            She shook her head, stepped forward, and wrapped her arms around him, embracing him tightly. Her embrace was so warm and friendly. He hugged her back, grateful for how easy this had been.

            “I’m actually really happy for you, Eugeo,” she said, smiling at him. “From the looks of it, you should be a papa by now!”

            “A-actually, I wanted your help with that,” Eugeo stammered.

            Alice tilted her head.

            “I’m sorry, I haven’t the slightest clue how to be a father,” she said, almost laughing.

            He shook his head.

            “No, not with _that_ ,” he said. “He hasn’t gone into labor yet.”

            “Really?”

            “Yeah…it’s twins…”

            Eugeo noticed Alice’s breathing pick up. She knew just as well as he did what that meant. Kazuto’s life was in danger. Calmly, she took my hands in hers and squeezed them gently. She gave me a smile.

            “I understand,” she said. “Do you mind if I check on him?”

            He shook his head.

            “Th-thank you,” he said.

            “Don’t thank me just yet,” she said, her voice getting softer. “I’ll do my best to do what I can for Kazuto, but sacred arts cannot fix everything. They can only help. I can’t promise anything that they cannot do.”

            He squeezed her fingers back.

            “Your effort is worth thanking.”

            As they walked back to his parents’ house, Eugeo filled Alice in on everything he’d neglected to tell her. He mentioned his desire to know the origins of the Blue Rose Sword, his undiscussed trip to Eastabarieth, his chance encounter with Kazuto, and how he only returned home because of Asuna’s coldness. As for the past year and couple of months, he quickly summarized it.

            “So, long story short, you have to hide here in hopes that Kazuto can deliver before Integrity Knights find you,” Alice said.

            Eugeo nodded.

            “At least we have a marriage license that should counter any charges for sex outside of wedlock,” he muttered. “I don’t know what to do about Kazuto’s murder charge, though. He won’t tell me if there were any witnesses who can say whether it was self-defense or not. He told me it was anger.”

            “Speaking of Kazuto, is there a reason he’s leaning on the side of your parents’ house doubled over?” Alice asked.

            She pointed to the corner. Kazuto had one hand pressed up against the house. He was, in fact, doubled over, and he appeared to be shaking. Eugeo ran over to him and gently touched his shoulder. Kazuto weakly turned his head to him and smiled. Sweat was dripping off of his face and neck. He was clutching his belly.

            “Is…is everything okay?” Eugeo asked.

            “J-just a little nau—” Kazuto started.

            He bent over and threw up. Eugeo grimaced, but gently rubbed Kazuto’s back.

            “You shouldn’t be puking this late,” Alice said, appearing beside them. “Did you eat something funny?”

            Kazuto shook his head.

            “More importantly…it’s Yui,” he said.

            “What about Yui?” Eugeo asked.

            “Go look in her room.”

            Eugeo cast a curious glance at Kazuto and then Alice.

            “I’ll help him get back inside,” Alice said. “I want to have a look at him. You go check on her. We’ll be fine. I promise.”

            He gave her a nod. Frowning one last time as he glanced at Kazuto miserably bent over, he shook his head and entered the house. The first thing he noticed was that the temperature had dropped significantly. His mother and sister stood pressed up against the far wall. Eugeo gave them an odd look.

            “What are you doing?” he asked.

            His mother didn’t say a word. She pointed one finger at the hallway. The floor seemed partially frozen. The trail of ice led towards the bedroom Yui slept in. He carefully made his way over to the doorway. Peering inside, he gasped. The room was coated in a thin layer of ice which spread out from one central point—Yui herself.

            “Dad, I’m scared,” she said.

            She held her hands out in front of her. They trembled. Tears ran down her cheeks but seemed to be frozen in place. Yui didn’t seem bothered by the cold, though. She seemed more terrified that the ice came from her. Eugeo cautiously stepped over to her and gently grasped her shoulders. The two of them locked eyes.

            “Those…aren’t Kazuto’s powers…are they?” he murmured.

            But if not Kazuto’s…then whose?


End file.
